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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24488176">It’s Okay Not to be Okay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LullabliesAndDreams/pseuds/LullabliesAndDreams'>LullabliesAndDreams</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hate, I’m still bad with tags, Love, Pain, Sex, Some are taken from the movie ‘Stuck in Love’, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 07:00:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>47,323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24488176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LullabliesAndDreams/pseuds/LullabliesAndDreams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It hurts.</p><p>Looking at her hurts. </p><p>It was not always this painful.</p><p>I remember when she’s what makes me excitedly wakes up every morning.</p><p>I remember being happy just by seeing her walking at the school hallway — even though she never really notice me.</p><p>I remember being enthusiastic because I’m in the same class with her — even though she never turn to look at me and probably doesn’t know my name.</p><p>I remember being contented just because we’re breathing the same air.</p><p>I remember...</p><p>When did it started to hurt?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall/Kira Yukimura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So... I REALLY REALLY MISS THIS FANDOM AND STYDIA IS ALWAYS KIND OF LIKE MY GUILTY PLEASURE SO... here’s a fic I made as I was too inspired from the movie called ‘Stuck in Love’. I watched that movie like a thousand times and just felt like nat wolff’s character kind of fit Stiles 😚 </p><p>And since I’m still in Quarantine and has nothing better to do, here it goes 😂</p><p>Please do give me your thoughts 🥰🥰🥰</p><p>Kisses xx</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>It hurts.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Looking at her hurts.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s not always this painful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember when she’s what makes me excitedly wakes up every morning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember being happy just by seeing her walking at the school hallway, even though she never really notice me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember being enthusiastic because I’m in the same class with her, even though she never turn to look at me and probably doesn’t know my name.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember being contented just because we’re breathing the same air.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When did it started to hurt?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can’t exactly pinpoint when.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Was it when she started wearing make-up because everyone else’s did, even though she has always been beautiful?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or was is when she started to play a nitwit even when she’s the smartest person in the whole school? I bet she’s even smarter than the our teachers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or was it when she started dating assholes that doesn’t even know her worth and how lucky they are to have her in their life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or maybe — just maybe, it started to hurt when she completely lost herself to the point that even I can’t recognize her anymore. That the Lydia I know when we were eight, is not the same Lydia I am looking right now.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Startled at the end of class bell, and all the students hurrying to get themselves out of the room, Stiles shake his head pushing all the thoughts he promised himself to keep on a box, shut, and sealed.</p><p>Stiles started to shove his books on his bag and once done he immediately get up.</p><p>He was about go get out of the room when he saw her at the corner of his eyes — head still on her desk.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe she fell asleep?</em>
</p><p>He’s dead frozen on the doorway, debating with himself if he should wake her up or let her be.</p><p>Without really deciding, his feet started to walk towards her and stops when he’s in front of her.</p><p>Looking down, Stiles finds himself fighting the urge to touch those beautiful strawberry blond curls.</p><p>Maybe he’s posses — maybe someone’s controlling him somewhere, because he’s been telling himself not to get anymore closer or move his feet and body to the side so that he can take a look at her beautiful face, but his body seems to not been listening to him.</p><p><em>He’s</em> <em>doomed</em>.</p><p>How many time does he have to tell himself to get over her before he actually listen?</p><p><em>Apparently more than a million times</em>, he told himself.</p><p>He immediately pull his hand back when he notice that it acted on it’s own, trying to touch the girl.</p><p>Then he notices something else — <em>Blood.</em></p><p>Bloods been dripping from her nose and it’s pooling almost as big as her palm.</p><p>He wish he didn’t know what she did before she came in class, but everyone know how she’s ruining her life with drugs and all.</p><p>The teachers doesn’t really care and her parents...</p><p>Her parents works all the time and doesn’t stops even though they already have enough richness to buy a state. Maybe that’s why they never paid attention.</p><p>That tugging pain in his chest demanded to be felt again as he looks at the strawberry blond goddess sleeping.</p><p>He allowed himself to touch her and ask if she’s okay, but before he can do that, Lydia’s stirs and her eyes slowly opens.</p><p>Feeling like he was caught doing something he isn’t supposed to, he panicked but stayedglued to where he was standing. “I, uuhh —“ he stops, frozen, and felt like someone has cut his tongue.</p><p>Lydia’s eyes darted on him, looking confused and puzzled.</p><p>“Your —“ he tried again, pointing at her nose. When she finally realize what it was, she immediately took a tissue out, wipe the blood on her desk, then her nose, and got out of the room without saying a word or even looking at Stiles.</p><p>Stiles sighs heavily, telling himself to let it go and get a hold of himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” Scott greeted him as he walk towards his locker.</p><p>He nodded as a reply, still not gaining his tongue back. When he opened his locker and place the books he doesn’t need inside, someone’s laugh caught his attention.</p><p><em>Of</em> <em>course, </em>it’s Lydia’s.</p><p>He scold himself internally, telling himself that he should look away from her, and not really just her — them — Lydia and her asshole of a boyfriend.</p><p>He felt the looks Scott’s giving him and his silent comments that sayin, ‘he really have lost it’, but he can’t help himself but stare.</p><p>Scott, he — they have been friends since they’re on diapers. Scott’s not really against how Stiles is so in love with the strawberry blond beauty, but he hated how Stiles hurts whenever he look at her and knows that he can’t have her.</p><p>“Still working on it?” Scott asked, finally snapping his daydream.</p><p>He didn’t answer, he just shrugs his shoulders and continue to get the books he needs.</p><p> </p>
<hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Why am I here again Scott?” He asked not hiding the annoyance in his voice.</p><p>“To enjoy.” Scott simply answered, giving him a playful smirk.</p><p>It was friday night, and how else should teenagers like them should enjoy their night? Of course — it should be in a party with lots of booze, drugs, and girls.</p><p>But that’s not how Stiles enjoy his friday night — he enjoys it by walking around the woods playing detective and trying to find a dead body. “Enjoy? Do I look like I’m enjoying myself Scott?”</p><p>Scott’s huff, feeling a bit irritated from his best friends complains “You will be enjoying yourself if you stop complaining and find another red head to obsess about —“ Scott stops for a moment realizing that his comment was off the line.</p><p>They have been best friends for so long to know that Stiles have like Lydia since they were in 3rd grade and he also knows how deep his feeling for her. “Sorry.” He said, looking really guilty on Stiles.</p><p><em>It’s not like his wrong</em>, Stiles thought. He could actually enjoy the night if he just didn’t know that Lydia is also in the same party. <em>But</em> <em>of</em> <em>course</em>, Lydia is always invited in all parties, that includes also her asshole boyfriend.</p><p>He sigh before saying, “It’s fine.” as Scott  waits for a reaction from him.</p><p>Scott sighs and pats him on his shoulder. “Look, if you really want to get over her, you should see and date girls.”</p><p>
  <em>Like dating girls will magically rid of what you’re feeling. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>If it’s that easy, he have been over her a long time ago. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>What a great logic.</em>
</p><p>He took a sip of his beer that he have been holding since they got there, to keep his mouth busy and not give a snarl reply to his best friend that’s juat trying to help him.</p><p>“— or you could go and talk to Malia.” Scott pointed behind him making him turn.</p><p>He can see Malia looking at them, or just him specifically. Scotts been convincing him that Malia’s interested in him and he should ask her out. </p><p>It’s not that he doesn’t like Malia, Malia is a beauty and a very smart girl. She doesn’t care about other people’s close minded opinion and she’s very confident in her skin, but — he’s too caught up with his feeling with Lydia to make a move on her. </p><p>Malia gave him a smile when she caught him staring and eyed him like she’s asking him to walk to her, talk, and maybe flirt, and spend the rest of the night with her. </p><p>
  <em>Fuck it!</em>
</p><p>He straighten himself, chugs the last of his beer for confidence, and started to walk towards her.</p><p>“Oh go fuck yourself Jackson!” </p><p>Stiles froze hearing a voice that seems to have floated all over the place. As his attention were ruled by the voice, he look around the room to finds it’s owner — <em>Lydia</em>. </p><p>He found her upstairs — well not exactly, since she’s rushing down to get away from Jackson.</p><p>Stiles never stops to wonder why the hell Lydia dates him and waste her time on an asshole like him.</p><p><em>Well</em>, he is the captain of the lacrosse team, bless with a body like superman, a rich man’s son, and he drive a fucking Porsche. <em>Yeah Stiles, why would Lydia waste her time on him? </em>Stiles sighs, feeling defeated on a game he didn’t even play to begin with.  </p><p>But he still believes that she deserves better than Jackson. The guys a notorious playboy, doesn’t have respect for others, have bad temper, and most importantly, he never treats Lydia right. </p><p>When Lydia reaches the last step of the stairs, Jackson catch up with her and grabs her by the wrist.  </p><p>Lydia pulls her hand back and tried to push Jackson away, but he beats her on it and push her first. </p><p>She painfully and loudly drops on the floor that made everyone stops what they’re doing and look at the scene.</p><p>She was wincing in pain and she gain a scratch on her elbow from the fall. </p><p>Everyone was staring and whispering but no one was helping.</p><p>Lydia was glued on the floor, too embarrass to get up from what happened, and the fact that everyone was just looking at her being so helpless — it was too painful in Stiles eyes, so without fully thinking of the situation, Stiles run to her and helps her get up. </p><p>“Don’t get in between this!” Jackson spits.</p><p>Stiles ignored him and made sure Lydia has her footing. “Are you okay?” He asked her, as the surprised girl nodded to answer. </p><p>“Don’t you dare ignore me!” Stiles catches Jackson ready to punch him, so he did what he’s best doing — he dodge him, not knowing that Jackson put a lot of force in it making him fall straight on the floor. </p><p>Knowing what Jackson will do once he get up, Stiles panic and grabs Lydia without really thinking, <em>again</em>, then run out of the place like their life is depending on it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a few turns on the street, and making sure no one followed them, he decided that it was okay to stop.</p><p>“We lost him right?” He asked while he also catch his breath.</p><p>When no one answered, he looks back and saw Lydia looking puzzled at their intertwined hands.</p><p><em>Shit</em>.</p><p>He immediately let go of her and said his sorry.</p><p>“It’s fine.” She said softly, making him ease a little.</p><p>There was an awkward minute of silence between them, that made Stiles contemplate if what he has done is right, then realizing that she may not even know his name.</p><p><em>You’re one stupid ass Stiles</em>, he told himself.</p><p>When he was about to break the silence, Lydia surprises him by speaking first, “Stiles — you’re Stiles right?”</p><p>“You know me?” He might have said that too surprised and too quickly. <em>Great.</em></p><p>She let out a breathy chuckle and answered, “Well I know that’s what people call you, but I don’t know your real name. I don’t know you personally even, but — we’ve been in the same school since elementary, so I should at least remember that.”</p><p>“Right.” He didn’t know how to exactly reply to that so he just said <em>that</em>.</p><p>It’s ridiculous how his cheeks were burning from what Lydia remeber, even though it was just a very, very small matter.</p><p>Stiles thank all the gods silently at the darkness of the night that kept his blush hidden.</p><p>Lydia slightly shivers when the wind blows, which Stiles immediately took notice of, and without second thought he took his flannel off and offered it to her.</p><p>Maybe he acted too fast again and did not really weight the situation, because Lydia was just staring at his offering hand.</p><p>He’ve been forgetting to use his brain since he run away with her, feeling really embarrass with all his mindless actions. So he slowly withdraws his hand only to met Lydia’s fingers.</p><p>“Thanks.” She said with a smile, and quickly wearing the flannel he offered.</p><p>It was too big on her, <em>of</em> <em>course</em>, that she has to fold the sleeves to free her hand, but she was doing it messily that Stiles couldn’t help himself but do it for her.</p><p>He grab each side of the sleeves and concentrated, trying not to let his has hand shakes as he carefully folds the sleeves, because this — <em>them</em> alone together, right here, is fucking insane, not to mention, Lydia’s been staring at him.</p><p>He doesn’t really see her do it but he can feel her eyes hovering around him.</p><p>“Thank you... for what you did back there.” She said, just as he was done folding the sleeves. “It was stupid —“ she continues, finding his eyes to look at. “But charming.” Her lips slowly curl up for a smile.</p><p><em>She smiled for him and told him he was charming —</em> That burning sensation inside him started to arise again. He might as well combust right there, right now, because he’s cheeks feel so hot it might explode like a bomb.</p><p>All of those feelings and emotions he said he’ll keep on a box, sealed, and shut, was now thrown upside down and scattered all over the place.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p><em>He’s</em> <em>fuck</em>.</p><p>The silence suddenly becomes overwhelming, and Lydia kept her stare in his eyes as her smiles stayed — he swears to god <em>she’ll be the death of him.</em></p><p>‘Til his bubbles and reverie were pop when his phone started to vibrate loudly in his pocket that almost made him jump.</p><p>He took his phone out, trying not to lose eye contact, but Lydia now looks down the ground, stepsback a little, giving him privacy with his call.</p><p>Without looking on the caller ID he placed his phone to his ears and slightly turn away from Lydia. “Yeah?” He started.</p><p>“Where the hell are you?” <em>Ohh</em> <em>great</em>, <em>Scott</em>.</p><p>“Well um —“ he looks around and tried to figured where they are exactly, when Scott suddenly attacks him with questions. </p><p>“Is it true that you run away with Lydia?” </p><p>“Umm —“ hearing her name, he looks back at her and saw that she was still standing there waiting for him. </p><p>“What the hell man! Jackson’s furious!” Scott screamed on the other line, stressing how angry Jackson was when they left.</p><p><em>When the hell did they care about that bastard? </em> </p><p>Pissed, Stiles decided to end their conversation. “You know what, let’s talk about this tomorrow. I have spare keys on the compartment.” He said, not forgetting the fact that he drove Scott to the party in his jeep, and knowing that he can’t go back there, he will just have to let Scott take it and bring it back to him tomorrow.</p><p>“Hey wait —!” He didn’t let Scott finish and just hung the call.</p><p>He sighs then turns back to Lydia who’s not where she was before.</p><p>He looks around hoping that she’s just there somewhere and relief envelop him when he spots her walking on the pavement.</p><p>He run to catch up on her. “Where are you going?” He asked which she didn’t respond, so he assumes that she’s walking home.</p><p>He decided to walk her home without asking permission.</p><p>Well, she’s not complaining on him pacing beside her anyways... also, it’s dangerous to let a young beautiful girl walk alone at night.</p><p>Stiles couldn’t help himself to look at her every now and then.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">The glow of the moonlight on her is fucking beautiful. </span>
</p><p>Walking with her in silence finally calm him — this was not what he have expected. He expected awkwardness, uneasiness, and heavy atmosphere, but all he feels right now is how peaceful the night is, and how calming this walk is — his heart warms from it.</p><p><em>Just like 3rd-grade</em>, he thought. </p><p>When they made a turn, he finally realized that the direction they where walking through is not the one going to her house so he asked, “Aren’t you going home?” </p><p>“No.” She simply answered looking at the street. </p><p>“Where —“ he started but was cut off by Lydia. “I don’t want to go home Stiles.” She stop her tracks and looks at him in serious but tired expression. This surprises Stiles, almost tripping off the flat surface.</p><p>“There’s no one at my place right now, and with what happened... I’m sure Jackson will be there.” She paused for a moment, the tiredness in her face winning, “I don’t want to see him yet. I’ll be force to forgive him again if I do, I don’t want to go back in that cycle Stiles — not anymore at least.” </p><p>With helpless and pleading eyes, Stiles swallows a big lump on his throat that he didn’t know was there and nodded at her.</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p><em>Fucking, fuck! </em>He curse to himself. </p><p>He’s hands were shaking so much, making it hard for him to unlock the front door of his house. He look at his back and found his heart melting on this strawberry blond goddess looking innocently around.</p><p>After what Lydia told him, he offered to go to his house so that she can at least rest.</p><p>It was on a whim and his braincells doesn’t function well whenever Lydia’s around so when he realize what he had suggested, he almost immediately want to take it back, but Lydia gave him grateful smile and agreed on his idea. </p><p>So now, here they are, standing on his house front porch as he’s still tries to open the damn door. </p><p>He thought to try another key when the door suddenly opens, “Jesus Christ!” He screams in surprised. </p><p>“Nope, just your dad.” Noah, his dad, just sighs his own surprise at his sons screams. </p><p>“Why — ?“ Stiles were confused on his father’s presence at the house. He remembers his dad telling him that he’ll take night shift for the whole month. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” He asked fidgeting on his keys, feeling like he’ve been caught doing something suspicious, so he tries to distract his father. </p><p>“Can’t I go back to my own house when I forgot something? Didn’t you say you’re crashing at Scotts?” He was looking at Stiles with question then he notice the young girl behind him and ask, “aren’t you Natalie Martin’s kid?”</p><p>Stiles eyes went big, forgetting Lydia at the presence of his father, he panics, and was going to say some kind of excuse when Lydia spoke first. </p><p>“I am, and I’m sorry for the bother Mr. Stilinski. Stiles he... I got troubles at home and Stiles was kind enough to offer me to come home with him just to rest and think... if it’s okay with you?” She finished, sounding so innocent and in plead.</p><p>Stiles couldn’t take his eyes off Lydia and this time, it’s his dad presence he has forgotten but quickly recovered when his dad cough. </p><p>“Sure, of course. Does your mom know about your whereabouts though?” His dad asked feeling a bit suspicious of these two teens. </p><p>“My parents actually are not in town right now.” Lydia said simply, but part of Stiles kind of broke. </p><p>“Well, you should still let them know.” Lydia nodded innocently, as Noah loosen his shoulders and shrugs another thought.</p><p>He moved away from the doorway to let the teen come inside the house. </p><p>“Thanks dad.” Stiles commented, looking at his smiling, but still a bit suspicious dad. Though, he’s glad his father didn’t asked anymore questions and hover further.</p><p>“Well, I’m off now.” He announce, giving a final warning look at his son. “Be nice Stiles, and remember to keep safe, okay.” He said it in low voice making sure that only Stiles can hear it.</p><p>Stiles was about to protest something, when his dad suddenly wave his hands goodbye to Lydia and said, “Have a good night kids.” </p><p>Both Stiles and Lydia watched Noah run to his cruiser and drives off the road before fully coming inside the house and Stiles closing the door behind. </p><p><em>So now, what? </em>He thought.  </p><p>He watched as Lydia look around the place. </p><p>She’s not saying anything, just... she looks like she’s observing and surveying every corner of his house.</p><p>
  <em>It’s kind of unnerving.  </em>
</p><p>“Your house looks warm and cozy.” She commented, looking back at him and giving him a smile. </p><p>
  <em>That damn smile. </em>
</p><p>He composes himself, trying hard not say something embarrassing, but he knows he’ll fail. “Yeah, dad and I try hard not to burn or wreck the house. Two men in a house can’t be peaceful.”</p><p>Lydia giggles at what he said and god, how much he loves to hear it one more time. </p><p>He guides her to the living room, his hand pointing around like a signboard — he’s glad though, that he didn’t trip on the carpet, or the furnitures, or even a flat surface.</p><p>When she finally sat on the couch, her eyes still looking around, he finally was able to remember basic human hospitality and asked if she wants to drink anything. </p><p>She just asked for water, and while Stiles tries hard to pour a water on the glass, Lydia took off the flannel and looked at the scrapes on her elbows.</p><p><em>It won’t scar</em>, she sighs in relief.</p><p>She already have tons of scars she’s hiding, she doesn’t need another to hide. </p><p>Stiles got back with her glass of water, then run back to the kitchen again without really saying anything, that kind of baffles Lydia. </p><p>He returned with a box of first aid kit, then kneel down in front of her, trying to see how bad the bruise is, “Let me —“ he stopped suddenly, like he just realize he’s making a mistake again. </p><p>Lydia wanted to laugh. </p><p>Ever since he drag her out of the party, he keeps doing that — doing something on impulse then after a minute or two, stopping because he thinks what he’s doing is wrong. </p><p>No one ever did that to her.</p><p>Everyone just quickly assumes.</p><p>No one really take a second thought, or even asked her what she feels about the situation.</p><p>She lean down to hint him that what he is doing is okay and he’s good. He seems to must have taken it cause he continue with mending her bruises. </p><p>It was quiet again. </p><p>Stiles just tried to concentrate with what his doing, but it’s beginning to get hard. </p><p>Lydia’s looking at him again — staring. Like what he’s doing is something alien, like she’s amaze with what he is doing. </p><p>“You’re really good at taking care of people, aren’t you?” She suddenly asked.</p><p>It made him snap a look at her face, but immediately get back to what he was doing because he knows that looking directly in her eyes is dangerous. “I wouldn’t really say that. I mean, I love taking care of my father, but other than him, I could care less. Caring too much is more of Scott’s department.” </p><p>“Well, you’re taking good care of me.” </p><p>That just caught him of guard.</p><p>Her voice, the tone she used when she said that — it’s like... <em>he needs to stop overthinking</em>, he scolds himself. </p><p>His keeps on swallowing lumps on his throat., and tried to give a coherent response. “I — I ahh...”</p><p>“Can I sleep here?” She cut him off. </p><p>His brain has officially turn off from what she suddenly asked.</p><p>Lydia saw that his somewhat baffled from her request. She waited for him to answer but it seems like he needs more time thinking.</p><p>She realize that he’s done applying some sort of ointment, the only thing left is putting some bandaids. And since he stop doing what he was doing, Lydia decided to just do it herself.</p><p>When Stiles realized what she’s doing, and having a hard time doing it, he helped her again to finish taking care of her bruises.</p><p>Lydia sighs, “Do you know some other place I can stay? I just really don’t want to go home tonight.” She’s sounding a bit desperate.</p><p>She really just needs to be in someplace that no one will be able to find her, especially Jackson. </p><p>“No, you can stay here.” Stiles finally decided, which he kind of think as a stupid idea, but... he can’t just let her go. </p><p>“Thank you.” She said, sounding greatful but really tired.</p><p> </p><p>Stiles almost lost the last step on the stair going to his room.</p><p>He thought of letting her stay in their spare room but — they actually don’t have a spare room. They have a room full of things that they don’t actually use but can’t get rid off, so... it’s his room that he can only offer.</p><p>When they are in front of his room, he remember how messy his rooms is. So instead of letting Lydia in immediately, he made her stay outside, closing the door in her face, and moving as fast as he can to hide all the stuff the he needs to hide. </p><p>When he open the door again, he was greeted with an annoyed face of Lydia then realizing his mistake.</p><p>He swallow once before saying, “sorry for slamming the door on your face. I didn’t —“ he was horrified, afraid that Lydia might slap the hell out of him.</p><p>She didn’t. </p><p>She loudly breath out and slowly march inside, and looks around. </p><p>“Sorry for the mess.” He told her, standing five feet away from her and letting her study his room.“Is this your room?” He nodded to reply to her, not really confident with his voice.</p><p>She takes another look around then taking two steps forward. He almost step back and trip, but he manage to stand still, holding his breath like an idiot. </p><p>“Can I borrow a shirt to sleep on?” She asked, looking at her dress that was dirtied when Jackson pushed her. </p><p>He run on the drawer beside his bed, where all his clean shirts are, and pick the first shirt he saw then handing it to Lydia. “Here” he said. </p><p>He didn’t actually know what to do after, so he just stood there, as Lydia turn around then swiftly took off her dress.</p><p>His foot lost it power to move, he stayed there frozen, eyes burning and mouth watering. And when Lydia took off her bra before pulling the shirt on her head, he choke on air. </p><p>“What?” She asked, confused on his reaction. Stiles thank the all gods that she’s done putting the shirt on before turning back to him. </p><p>He lost all his energy already and wasn’t bother to answer her. He just stayed glued there looking at her. </p><p>Erase the part where he thank all gods that she now has a shirt on, cuz fuck! She looks so amazing in his shirt — <em>his fucking shirt! </em></p><p>“You haven’t seen a girl undress in front of you before?” Lydia asked another question that only made Stiles more embarrass that he already is. </p><p>The question was not mocking though, just pure curiosity. Every move, every reaction Stiles is giving her is somewhat new to her.</p><p>He didn’t answer her question again, he just stood there bobbing his throat.</p><p>Lydia sighs, she’s really tired and just wants to sleep the night off. She didn’t hesitate to get on the bed and lay there.</p><p>Stiles finally had his sanity and energy back, so he breath out once more and said his goodnight to Lydia, as he turn off the lights and starts to walk out of the room. </p><p>When he was about to close the door, Lydia abruptly sat up and almost scream, “don’t!” </p><p>Stiles opened the door wide and look confuse at her. He notice that she kind of look terrified suddenly. “I’ll leave the door open.” He said and was about to go when Lydia almost quietly ask him to stay. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Stay...” she repeated, a bit louder. It’s a bit dark but Stiles saw that her lips were trembling. He wanted to asked why but he figured that it’s not his place to.</p><p>“Stay — please stay.” She pleaded.</p><p>He can see fears in her watery eyes. He’s bursting with curiosity, but he doesn’t want to scare her more than she already is, so he nodded and kick off his shoes and sat on the bed, giving her an assuring look that he’s staying. </p><p>Lydia laid down in relief, but after a minute ofdebating with herself, she pulls Stiles down with her. </p><p>Stiles eyes went big, but he let her do as she pleases and try his hardest not to overthink.</p><p>When he’s finally laying besides her, Lydia turn to face him, as Stiles did the same out of impulse. She wiggle closer to him hinting him to put his arms around her, which he did, as she fist his shirt on his chest.</p><p>It looks like she’s holding his shirt like that because he might run away after, that never in a million chance Stiles will do. </p><p>She wiggle closer again, wanting to feel the warm of his body. Taking her hint again, Stiles embrace her closer. </p><p>He was almost losing his mind by the way there are holding each other right now, and her scent is really not helping.</p><p>He can almost feel his pants getting tight and uncomfortable but when he hears and felt her soft breathing — her, calmly sleeping beside him... he couldn’t help but steal a kiss on her crown and comfortably rest with her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I love thoughts, so if you have one, please do drop it on the comments. </p><p>Thoughts are always welcome 🥰</p><p>Kisses xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m bad at updating. </p>
<p>I’m inconsistent, I know.</p>
<p>There are just times where I get so inspired and will write all day, and there are also times where I will not write at all (most of the times it’s the latter part.)</p>
<p>So I apologize. </p>
<p>But I do hope you guys are liking this.</p>
<p>Please do give me a thought, drop something on the comment box. I’ll realappreciate it ☺️</p>
<p>Kisses xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Fiery red.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s supposed to make him uncomfortable and uneasy, but, it didn’t.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’s too comfortable — too relax.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There’s this warm feeling he feels from something he was holding, so he held it closer — closer till he’s contented with the warmth it’s giving. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He can smell vanilla and strawberry together whenever he breathes in. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ohh, how he loves the smell he’s breathing in.</em>
</p>
<p><em>Then this warmth he was holding </em> <em>stir a movement that confused him.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>‘How —?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Stiles wake up.’ Someone said.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’s asleep? If he’s sleeping then it’s probably better to continue sleeping because he too comfortable to wake up.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>’Stiles’ The same voice called again.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>His comfort and relax were taken when something, or maybe someone, started to shake him softly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>’Come on Stiles, wake up.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>His eyes slowly flutters open and he was greeted by a waterfall of strawberryblond hair and a green eyes that’s staring straight his own eyes — a beauty or maybe a goddess that’s smiling at him sweetly.</em>
</p>
<p>He gave himself a minute to process this magical moment, and when the memories from last night flooded his mind, he almost push Lydia away from him.</p>
<p>He abruptly stood up, then got caught on the twisted sheets, then fall flat face on the floor.</p>
<p>
  <em>God that hurts! </em>
</p>
<p>Lydia was just surprise at his reaction and with what happened, that she sat on the bed quietly and wait for him to compose himself. </p>
<p>“I’m okay. No bone fractures, no blood.” He said, trying to hide his embarrassment.</p>
<p>”Are you sure?” Lydia asked, not convince when he wince in pain from standing up.</p>
<p>”Yup. I’m good.” He tried again.</p>
<p>He sat on the edge of the bed, afraid to trip on something again, also, because he kind of can’t feel his legs.</p>
<p>He was sitting as far away as he can from Lydia, and Lydia stared at him puzzled on why. <em>They did sleep on the same bed cuddling.</em></p>
<p>So slowly, she craws towards him and when she’s only inches away, she asked, “Why are you sitting so far away?”</p>
<p>Stiles snap a look at her and almost had a heart attack when he realize, her face were merely inches away from his. His ass met the ground from his surprise and alao from jumping away.</p>
<p>Lydia’s not getting this confusing reaction from him anymore, and she’s feeling unwanted cuz he keeps moving away from her. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry for exceeding my welcome —“ she said, looking on the sheet and not to him. She sighs and swallowed hard before looking back at him and giving him still a grateful smile. “Thanks for last night and for letting me stay. I should — I’ll go home.”</p>
<p>Lydia slowly crawl out of the bed and started to look for her clothes that she remember hanging on his desk chair, and when her foot was about to land on the floor, Stiles snatch her wrist.</p>
<p>”Lydia wait —“ he said, and again letting go of her when he think he just made another mistake. He continue, scratching his neck “I ahh... I’m sorry. It’s just —“ Lydia thinks that he might have tied his tongue on something cuz he look like his really having problem speaking. “You didn’t — you’ll never exceed your welcome, you’re always welcome here... or if you needed something or someone, you can always come to me.”</p>
<p>It took her 3 seconds before processing what he said and releasing an “Ohhh.” with a surprise tone, but she actually kind of like the sound of what he just said.</p>
<p>He sounded truthful and sincere.</p>
<p>Stiles must have taken her reaction as something else though, cuz Lydia notice that his ears were so red, a smoke might come out of it. “I mean —“ he was about to make another explaination but then give it up, “never mind.” He muttered lowly, then sighs loudly. “My brain just doesn’t work right when your near, please don’t take this in a bad way. You didn’t do anything wrong, It’s just me being weird, me being an idiot, and stupid, and fuck! I’m embarrassing myself again aren’t I? I should stop rambling, I should —“</p>
<p>Lydia burst of laugh made him stop.</p>
<p>He was stun, surprise, and amaze. </p>
<p>He never seen or heard Lydia laugh like that in a long time — like... like, she’s really, genuinely find something funny and it made her happy. </p>
<p>Last time he heard her laugh like that was 5th grade... after that, she seem to only be laughing for show.</p>
<p>
  <em>Because smiling and laughing are much easier to explain than frowning.</em>
</p>
<p>He suddenly stop worrying about embarrassing himself and just think on how he can continue to make her laugh like that. </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Stiles ended up offering breakfast to make her stay. </p>
<p>He wanted her to stay for as long as he can, actually.</p>
<p>
  <em>Sounds creepy and stalker-like, right? </em>
</p>
<p>Well, she looks like she also doesn’t want to really go yet, so, who is he to ignore and refuse that? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Pancake?”</p>
<p>“Hmm, what?” Stiles was so invested on making the batter perfectly and thinking on how to cook it perfectly that he didn’t hear her right. </p>
<p>“You’re making pancakes.” She repeated, not sounding unsure unlike before. </p>
<p>“Ohh yeah! What do you prefer though, chocolates or blueberry?” He asked looking back and fort to the batter he’s making and to the strawberry blond beauty who’s sitting at counter watching him.</p>
<p>He’s supposed to probably embarrassing himself again but, he actually is most comfortable making food and cooking, even when the girl he have a crush on for almost a decade now is watching him. </p>
<p>“Blueberries” She answered, smiling at him, looking excited and amaze.</p>
<p>“Blueberries it is.” He repeated, proud of himself that he’s making Lydia Martin smile and excited for his food.</p>
<p>His was humming with this song that just entered his mind randomly and <em>grinning like an idiot</em> — he can hear the snarl comment and laugh of his best friend.</p>
<p>The sudden thought of his best friend made him think of his conversation with Scott last night, and if he was able to take good care of roscoe, and how he’ll be able to deal with the aftermath of getting in Jackson’s very bad side (cuz he’ll definitely do something to him after he was able to embarrass him in front of many people.)</p>
<p>He doesn’t really care that much right now, he just want to make the perfect blueberry pancakes.</p>
<p>“My grandma use to make me really delicious blueberry pancakes whenever I’m at her place when I was young.” Lydia said, making Stiles turn to look at her. She was looking down at the counter and smiling at the memory, then a hint of sadness shows on her expression. She sighs, bit her lower lip, and shrug off probably the pain in that memory.</p>
<p>He knew not to asked questions about it, not yet at least. So he place a plate of 3-stacks of blueberry pancakes with a butter on top and a good amount of maple syrup in front of Lydia and said, “Well, I just hope my pancakes won’t embarrass me.”</p>
<p>Lydia chuckles, smiling wide, then saying, “No pressure Stiles.” Before taking a fork and digging in the pancake.</p>
<p>Stiles were staring at her intently, waiting for a good reaction and review. And when her eyes sparkled with an approving smile, her head nodding, and moan while she chews, Stiles almost jump in victory.</p>
<p>“Good?” Stiles still asked to confirm.</p>
<p>“Very good.” She said, cutting another big piece of pancake and putting it to her mouth.</p>
<p>She’s enjoying the food he made and all Stiles wanted right now is to watch her finish her breakfast, even though he knows it’ll be so weird.</p>
<p>Another bite and a maple syrup stain on the edge of Lydia’s mouth, which she doesn’t seem to notice.</p>
<p>Stiles on the other hand saw it, “You got ahh —“ he started, but Lydia just look at him innocently and then hecouldn’t help himself to wipe it for her.</p>
<p>“You, Stiles Stilinski, better explain yourself or —“ Scott who barge in without any notice, got greeted by a scene where Lydia’s sitting in front of the kitchen counter, and who’s by the way still wearing Stiles shirt, and Stiles hand strength on Lydia’s face, where his fingers were touching the side of her lips. “What’s going on here?” He asked, sounding like he just caught his lover cheating.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>To say the it was awkward was an understatement.</p>
<p>It felt like, some sort of invisible needle — a big invisible needle, is poking to his head whenever Scott snap a look at him, and he can literally feel the tension in the air. </p>
<p>Then Lydia, for the better of it, just shrugs off the looks Scott is giving them, and he silently thank her for that. </p>
<p>After finishing her food, she run back to his room and change back to her clothes, then after she said her goodbye and thanks again to Stiles.</p>
<p>Stiles would actually want to drive her home but she insisted that she actually wanted to walk back home, also she wanted to take her time to think about what to do with Jackson. So he let go, even thpugh he wants to run after her after a few minutes, he didn’t. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please stop giving me that look.” </p>
<p>“What look?” Scott played innocent, even when he practically is still looking at him with disgrace and shame. </p>
<p>Stiles throw a pillow to his hand to make him stop, but Scott was able to catch it. “Ohh come on! What Jackson did last night to her was not right! Of course I’m going to help her! Even if it was not Lydia, I’m going to help!”</p>
<p>”I know that.” Scott finally relax on his sit. “But do you have to let her stay at your house? Let her wear your shirt, sleep in your room — on your bed? You even cook breakfast for her!”  </p>
<p><em>Ahh</em> <em>yeah</em>, he told Scott about her sleeping in his room, but he will not tell him about them sleeping together in bed, holding each others body so close, like they’ve been sleeping like that for a long time. </p>
<p>He also don’t plant to tell Scott how Lydia undress in front of his, how her breast felt, pressing to his chest. </p>
<p>“You’re in serious trouble Stiles Stilinski.” Scott breath out, looking hopeless at his best friend. “You’ll never really get to move on from her.” </p>
<p>Scott, he’s just worried about him, and he understands that fully, that’s why he’s not really getting angry at his reaction.</p>
<p>The guy knows how much he’s hurting from the girl who he loves so deeply. Scott would always ask him — <em>how did you even fall in love with a girl who doesn’t even notice you once? </em></p>
<p>
  <em>He would shrug and say ‘I don’t know, Scott. I just... I love her.’ then Scott would look at him with a bit of pity.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Before his mother died... before her illness took her, Claudia thought him few things he can use in life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>1. How to fix a car — or actually, how to fix one car. The jeep that she owns since she’s was high school and planned to give it to her child as a surprise once his at the age to be allowed to drive. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>2. How to cook — or actually, just, how to make pancakes, cause it was one of his favorite breakfast, and they enjoy making it together, putting in other ingredients to level up their pancakes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3. How to love — which, Claudia didn’t actually gave his son instructions of how to do, but, somehow showed him how...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She showed him that if you love a person, no matter what obstacles you go through, you have be their support and strength.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She showed him that no matter how painful or how unbearable the situation is, it’s always worth to fight for love.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She showed him that you should always choose love — more than hate, more than anger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles hang-on and held tight to all this lesson he learned from his mother — cuz if he didn’t, he’ll get eaten by his despair, his demon, after his mom started to see him as a monster when her illness took her over.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Lydia have been in her empty house for a few hours now.</p><p>She’s just laying in her bed, not thinking about her parents, or about Jackson, or about her life — she’s just so tired and exhausted — mostly mentally, than physically. </p><p>She thought of how peaceful it was when she was with Stiles. </p><p>She doesn’t know much about him, but, that time that she was with him — he doesn’t look at her like how Jackson look at her, he doesn’t look at her like most guys do, he doesn’t look at her like she just a piece of meat to get heat on.</p><p>He was so careful with her.</p><p>He say sorry when he thinks he made her upsets, he says sorry when he thinks he did something wrong... he just apologize too much, but, she can fee that he means every apology and he doesn’t say it just because he needs to say it.</p><p>No one ever apologize to her like that — and even if someone did, she knows they don’t really mean it.</p><p>He was so nice to her.</p><p>And no one has ever been that genuinely nice to her. Exept for one —</p><p> </p><p>She started to feel hungry late on the afternoon, but she didn’t really have the appetite to eat. So she get’s down to the kitchen to get some water just to ease her growling stomach.</p><p>She lingers at the kitchen, spacing-out, holding the half filled glass of water in both her hands. </p><p>A click of the front door startled her a little. She’s almost sure that her parent is not bound to get back home till Monday, so this alarmed her a bit.</p><p>She stayed glued at where she’s standing at the kitchen and waited, till she hears hard foots steps going directly to where she was.</p><p>”Finally! Where have you fucking been all this time ha!” Rage and anger where visible in his face that made Lydia afraid and start thinking of running away but before she can even take a step, Jackson were already cornering her.</p><p>”Jackso —“ before she could say anything, Jackson hands were tightly grip on both her arms, shaking her, making her let go of the glass of water she forgot she was still holding.</p><p>They both look down for a moment, looking at how pieces of broken glass were scattered all over, and how Jackson shoes were spilled with water — the latter part is what Lydia’s more afraid of.</p><p>”Look what you fucking done! Don’t you know that this is a new shoes!” Jackson shouted, as he started to shake her body hard again.</p><p>He was shaking her too hard, that when Lydia tried to get away from his grip, it ended with him letting her go so suddenly and her losing balance. </p><p>She try to hold onto something, but she slip more on the spilled water, landing head first on the floor.</p><p>Her head hurts so bad and there’s this ringing noise that’s making her nauseous — she almost feel like passing out but keep her eyes open. </p><p>Jackson, for some kind of miracle tried to help her sit up — then Lydia figured out why. </p><p>The side of her head that got hit on the floor were cut and bleeding, and that’s how she knew that it will be the last time she’ll ever allow him to lay his hands on her. </p><p>“Don’t fucking touch me!” She spit out with venom, startling Jackson making him backed away a little.</p><p>”Don’t be such a drama queen! It’s just a scratch!” He reasoned, but he looks at her with a hint of fear in his face. </p><p>“A scratch?!” Though she can’t see how bad the cut is, she knew that it’s not just a scratch.</p><p>Jackson wouldn’t dare to help her up if it was just a scratch. She just hope she doesn’t need stitches for it.</p><p>He tried again to help her but Lydia slide back slapping his hands away from her. “I said, don’t touch me! I swear to god, if you don’t leave right now I’m going to fucking call the police!” She threaten, but Jackson just call her bluff on it, saying that no one will believe her anyway. </p><p>She can feel her eyes burning from holding her tears back. </p><p>She asked herself, <em>why do I let him do this to me? </em></p><p><em>Because you know you deserve it — </em>a voice inside her head answered.</p><p>She move her hands back to support her weight, she was still sitting on the wet floor, she’s <em>lucky</em> that she haven’t been cut by the shards of glasses yet. </p><p>“Come on Lydia, I have already forgive you from what you did to me last night, and now I forgive you for what you did to my shoes.” He said with full pride.</p><p>
  <em>What a disgusting pride and attitude — and you are no better Lydia Martin. </em>
</p><p>Jackson tried to touch her again, as she moves her hand back again, feeling a big shard of glass at the tip of her fingers. She grab it, held it tight on her hand swinging it front and threating Jackson with it. “I said, don’t touch me.” She repeated. Her eyes glaring with daggers at the boy in front of her, sending message that she won’t hesitate to cut his pretty face with the glass, if he tried to get close to her again.</p><p>The way she was holding the glass cut her hand badly, and she can feel her blood coming out it. She ignored the pain as the glass cuts deeper, as she held to it tighter. She doesn’t care anymore if this will cut her fingers off, she just want Jackson away from her. </p><p>“Fine! You’ll get back to me anyway, and when you do, I won’t be as nice as I was.” He said, spiting on her side, then stomping out of her house. </p><p>Lydia hold on to the glass until she heard his car screeching away, and finally she was able to breath out. She didn’t even realize she was holding her breath that long, and as soon as he was gone, the pain from the cut in her head and her hands demanded to be felt. </p><p><em>Pathetic</em>.</p><p>She throw the bloody shard of glass away from her, and struggled but manage to get herself up. </p><p>She just then realize that bit and pieces of the glass actually cut her arms when she fell down. It was stinging a bit, but not as badly as her head and hand.</p><p>Lydia almost drag herself in the sink, to somehow clean herself, but the more water passes her hand, the more the blood come out of it too.  </p><p>Her hands were shaking so badly and the room feels like it’s moving around — she doesn’t know if it’s from hunger, concussions, pain, blood-loss, or all of it.</p><p>She place both her hand on the sink, forgetting her wounded hand, to support herself and to keep herself standing.</p><p>She kept telling herself not to faint cuz no one will come to help her. </p><p>Calling 911 or an ambulance is not an option too — it’s just not —</p><p>Lydia then remembers Stiles — the person who help her without her asking for it... the person who didn’t asked her for anything back after helping, and told her that if she needed someone, she can come to him. </p><p><em>Too bad though — you don’t have his number to call, and how convenient it is that your car is getting fix too. </em>She almost laugh at herself, but stop, because of the pain radiating.</p><p><em>His house is only a few miles away though — maybe you can walk to him. </em>She weight her options, which is not that many anyway, and went with walking back to Stiles. </p><p>Maybe it’s the stupidest decision she made, but, maybe not... right?</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Stiles dad got home an hour after Lydia said she’ll walk home. Noah only stayed home for a couple of hours and then got back to the station after some call.</p><p>He told Stiles that it’s not a big deal but he has to be there, Stiles just nodded reminding his father to be careful.</p><p>Scott stayed with him to play video games, and just as he thought that Scott already let go of what has happened last night and this morning, he then started again with the topic of ‘moving-on’ and Lydia. After an almost hour long lecture, he finally manage to push Scott home.</p><p>He felt so exhausted somehow — so he stayed at his room laying and staring blankly on his roof. </p><p>A knock startled him from his daze, but the sound was too soft he ignored it and think that it was just his imagination — cuz who would be knocking at his door right now?</p><p>But then, the knocking continue and begin to persist, that made him jump off his bed and run to the door. “Can you fucking hold on for a seco —“ he shouted irritatedly, but when he saw who’s in front of the door, his mouth stops.</p><p>”Hi.” She said, smiling weakly and her fist still on the air from knocking.</p><p>Stiles almost felt like the person in front of him was a dream and far from real. He close his open mouth and swallowed lumps on his throat.</p><p>Lydia was about to say something when he finally <em>see's</em> her — how there’s a big cut on her swollen forehead, blood almost dripping off her small face. How her hair is so messy, her clothes were damp even thought it was not raining; little cuts and bruises on her arm, and how her left hand were bleeding like a dog chewed on it. </p><p>She’s so pale... and weak and looks about to faint — she wobbled, so Stiles hold on her carefully supporting her weight.</p><p>His head work on impulse, almost carrying her inside the house, and sitting her to the couch.</p><p>He run to the kitchen to grab some water because she looks so dehydrated, and after setting the glass of water in front of her, run back again to the kitchen to get the first aid kit.    </p><p>She was looking weakly at the glass of water that was place in front of her. After all those walking she didn’t have anymore energy to even lift a finger. </p><p>Stiles notice it, so the moment he sat down besides her, he place down the kit on the table and grab the glass of water as he carefully place the glass over her lips and help her drink.</p><p>Lydia finish the water but felt her throat still feels dry.</p><p>She wince in pain when her head started to throbs again.</p><p>”I should get you to the hospital.” He said, feeling panic creeping in.</p><p>This alarmed Lydia, making her grip his wrist tight, ”No, please no!” She pleaded. Then realizing that the hand she used to hold him were her bloody hand. </p><p>She almost throw her hand away like she burned herself from touching him, then she grab the ends of her dress and started to wipe her blood off his hand as she said ‘sorry’ over and over again.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>What happened and why is she acting like this?</em>
</p><p>Stiles can’t help but wonder.</p><p>He can’t also help himself to be sad for the girl in front of him.</p><p>She’s shivering in fear. </p><p><em>How</em>? <em>Why</em>? — </p><p>She’s crying and apologizing like a child that is so afraid that someone will tell her off to her parents for doing something bad. </p><p>Fear is all over her.</p><p>Stiles couldn’t watch any longer, so he stops her shaking hand that is still trying to wipe the blood off his wrist, by holding her hand with both of his, “It’s okay.” He started, rubbing the top of her hand with his thumbs, hoping to ease her tension. </p><p>By the way she’s breathing, Stiles knew that Lydia is still crying. He freed his right hand then, softly reach up to her face, and slowly pull her face up, coaxing her to look him in the eyes.</p><p>There are a lot of emotions behind her eyes that Stiles wanted to get to know, but first, he needs her calm, relax, and he needs her to trust him. </p><p>He was still holding her right hand that seems to have stop from shaking, so he softly rubs his thumb on her cheeks too and hope It’ll have same effect on her body. </p><p>“I won’t force you to go to the hospital.” Lydia's expression soften a bit, like she’s so relief to hear that. “But you have to promised me... if the pain is too much or if you’re feeling something else after I patch you up, you have to tell me okay?” Stiles is watching her face and her expression to make sure she understands. </p><p>She nodded and said her promised in a hoarse voice. </p><p>He continue to watch her expression for a few seconds, still rubbing his thumb softly on her cheeks. He sighs deeply and reluctantly let go of her, going back to the kitchen to get some clean towels and warm water to clean her off from the dry bloods all over her, before patching her cuts and bruises.</p><p> </p><p>They both stayed quiet on the whole process of cleaning Lydia up, disinfecting her cuts and bruises, then putting bandages. </p><p>Lydia was so out of it, and just spacing out the whole time. She was not hissing in pain, or wincing, or anything — she’s just...</p><p>Stiles is so worried about her, and angry to whoever done this to her, but, he have to be there for her right now and not act like a knight seeking revenge.</p><p>When he finished, he asked if she wants anything to eat. At first she was not responding, it’s like she’s not there or that she didn’t hear anything. He asked her again, and for a moment, she look like she just heard someone speak for the first time — she look at him with a tired smile and shake her head no.</p><p>”Come on.” He said, standing in front of her, offering his hand for her to take.</p><p>She looked at him blankly for a few seconds before taking his hand, and weakly stands. Stiles had to bring his other hand down to her waist to support her weight and let her stand steady. </p><p>He lead her in his room, let her sit on his bed, and find something for her to change into. “We should get you off that dress, before dad see you. He’s coming home tonight and if he sees you wearing that bloodied dress with all this bandages on you body, dad might think I did it and that will not be good.” He said, then handing her a shirt.</p><p>Speaking of blood, she just remembered that she didn’t clean the kitchen before going to Stiles. She’ll have to ask him help again the tomorrow morning. </p><p>She laid the shirt beside her and started to unzip her dress. It took a lot of effort to move her hand as the pain the she didn’t feel before, is now consuming her — she needs help undressing. </p><p>Stiles was about to walk out to let her change, remembering also that he have to clean up the mess that’s left on their living room, but before he could step out the room, Lydia called him. </p><p>“Sorry... I just — I need help undressing. I’m really having a hard time to move my hand, guess I’m now feeling the pain.” She told him, and she looks embarrass for asking help.</p><p>Well, Lydia is not one to really ask help from anyone. She doesn’t like being a demsel in distress and doesn’t like the feeling of not being in control, being weak. But right now — she doesn’t feel like asking for help from Stiles, would be bad. </p><p>He gave him looks of so much adoration, genuine willingness to help, and no judgement — <em>he’s good for her. </em></p><p>Stiles was hesitant at first, but he was able to bring himself to help her — He help her slid off her dress slowly and carefully.</p><p>The way that her dress falls down shouldn’t have been erotic but — <em>get a hold of yourself Stiles! </em>He swallowed a lump on his throat, and when she step out of the dress and grab the shirt he let her barrow, he realized that he also need to help her dress, so he swallowed another lump on his throat. </p><p>He was about to reach out for the shirt to help her in, but she turn away and Stiles was staring at her back. </p><p>“Can you unclasp it?” She asked, obviously taking about her bra. </p><p><em>Yeah, sure Lydia, thanks for slowly trying to kill me! This is really great! </em>He close his mouth tightly for him not to say anything. </p><p>His hand were almost shaking but he did manage to unclasp her bra, as Lydia slides it off her. </p><p>Stiles almost had a heart attack when he thought she’ll face him, and thank god she didn’t, she hands him the shirt, without looking at him. </p><p>Stiles had his eyes close when he move closer to her to pull the shirt to her head, he’s so afraid that he might see something he’s not allowed to see. He then realized that it was actually a bad idea to close his eyes while helping someone to get dress, because he cluelessly run his hands to her shoulder down her arm to put the shirt correctly and when he realize what he have just done, he almost choke on his own. </p><p>His not sure how he did it, but he manage to get Lydia dress right, and he can finally breathe right and allow himself to look at her. </p><p>“Please, rest. I have to clean downstairs before dad arrives... if you need anything just call my name loudly, okay.”</p><p>She nodded and smile at him gratefully, as she watch him walk away. “Stiles” she called when he was a step away from the door step. “Thank you.” </p><p>Stiles didn’t reply, he just nodded his head. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><hr/><p> </p><p>“I’m home!” Noah said loudly upon slamming the front door shut.</p><p>It was still a little early — well, quarter to 12 midnight is actually not early, but, he knew Stiles is still awake. “Stiles?” He called, being a little too loud, again. He was being a little too loud with his movement too. </p><p>Stiles then appeared from the kitchen with a cup of coffee with his hand. “Can you be a little quiet dad? It’s almost midnight.” </p><p>“Well, I knew you’re awake so —“</p><p>”We do have neighbors dad.” He protested. </p><p>“Yeah, and they’re few meters away. It’s not like I was screaming bloody murder.” He look at his son in a not so amused way.</p><p>There something in Stiles movement that he’s dad couldn’t quite get, “You’re being weird. Why are you being weird?” He asked with pure suspicions.</p><p>“What? Me? Being weird? Is that even new dad? I’m always weird.” He reason, but Noah can feel something else.</p><p>”This is a different kind of weird.”</p><p>“What?” He said in a bit of exaggeration, his father’s eyes squinting more. “No. This is my normal weird, okay. Stip giving me that look.” </p><p>Noah didn’t let go of it, that made Stiles sigh in exasperation. “Fine!” He gave in, sighing again in nerves. “Lydia’s here.” He said, in a really quiet voice. </p><p>“What?” Noah asked, not hearing his son clearly. </p><p>“Lydia’s here.” He repeated, a little clearer this time. </p><p>“Just that? So — WHAT?!” The realization in his face were so evident, that Stiles almost wince. </p><p>“Ohh for christ sakes dad! She’s sleeping, please lower down your voice.” </p><p>“Are you two dating?” </p><p><em>How I wish, “</em>We’re not.” He almost sounded so disappointed. “She have parent issues — and boyfriend issues... I’m just helping.” </p><p>Noah pinch the bridge of his nose, <em>this might not end good son, </em>he wanted to say but instead said,“Don’t you have a crush on this girl, since like 5th grade?”</p><p>”3rd grade actually, but that doesn’t matter. I want to help him dad.” He felt a tug on his heart from saying that. </p><p>The determination in his sons eyes made him drop the conversation and just nodded his head and pats his shoulder. </p><p>Stiles was thankful that his father didn’t asked questions on why she’s back, or what happened, or anything anymore. He loved how he’s father is trusting him. </p><p> </p><p>Stiles slept on the floor that night, and woke up with the sound of gasping, and grunting in pain. </p><p>It was still dark, and he had a few seconds of confusion before his braincells work, he almost throw himself up, when he realized its coming from Lydia. </p><p>She’s having a nightmare. </p><p>He knew because he have them too, sometimes. </p><p>“Hey, hey, hey.” He carefully shakes her awake. “You got to wake up Lydia.” She statrtled awake and look horrifled for a moment. When she realized who’s in front of her, she pull Stiles in embrace.</p><p>It surprised Stiles, but, recovered quickly, brushing his hands to her hair. “You’re alright, you’re okay, it’s just a dream.” He unconsciously wrap his arms around her to give comfort, that made her held him tighter.</p><p>Stiles gave her a few minutes for her to collect herself — he was humming to her ears and caressing her back softly.</p><p>When he feel her relax, he pull her away a little to look at her face, and tuck away the stray locks off her face. “Are you okay?” He asked. </p><p>She didn’t say anything, but nodded her head. She laid back down the bed, bringing Stiles with her and clutching his shirt, like that first night they sleep together. </p><p>Stiles didn’t say anything anymore and just scooted closer, embracing Lydia tighter, kissing her forhead before going back to sleep. </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lydia woke up first again. </p><p>She and Stiles were in a tangle mess, but, she didn’t care. She likes how he holds her... cureful but tight, warm and peaceful. </p><p>There’y so close to each other that she can hear his heart beating. She likes that too... the calm and steady sound of it, and how the rise and fall of his chest that mimics hers. </p><p>He’s enveloping her with his pine and minty scent. </p><p>She feels a lot more energize than she did yesterday, though she’s really hungry, but the thought of eating kinds of make her feel sick. </p><p>Stiles mumbles something that made Lydia smiles, she doesn’t understand what it was but, it just made her smile. <em>I can get use to this, </em>she thought.</p><p>Maybe it’s finally the time she should think of her wellness, her health, or what will be good for her — she thinks that Stiles can be good for her. </p><p>She already picture it, how Stiles will take care of her, how he will treasure her, how he’ll put her first more than anyone... more than anything — <em>but, wouldn’t that be selfish Lydia? For you to drag him with you? You know you’re a lost cost, you know that you’ll ruin him someday — </em>her subconscious telling her.</p><p>She kept a close eye and tried to drive away the voices in her head. </p><p>Is it really wrong for her to think that maybe he can save her from herself? That maybe, he’ll be the end of her misery.</p><p> </p><p>She carefully untangle herself from Stiles, feeling the need of the bathroom.</p><p>After successfully getting off the bed without waking Stiles, and successfully finding the bathroom. She went downstairs to get some water, forgetting that Stiles dad may be awake and see her — and she did find Noah at the kitchen, in almost his complete sheriff uniform, setting up breakfast. </p><p>The sheriff was looking at her in surprised and a bit of horror, then she remember how she looked — she had a glimpse on it where she was in the bathroom, looking at the mirror. Her skins were so pale, the big dark circles in eyes like she haven’t been sleeping for weeks, her lip were chapped like she suffering from dehydration, her hair were so messy, not to mention the faint gashes and bruises on her arm... the bandages. </p><p>“I-I was just... water.” She almost slap herself from talking like an idiot.</p><p>Noah didn’t say anything for a few seconds, looking at her in confuse manner. A few seconds more, he blink and straighten his posture, looking like he finally realized I’m real — <em>well, there the similarity of father and son.</em></p><p>He coughs like he was testing his voice, then pour a water to the glass set on the table, before saying, “Please, help yourself.” Pushing the glass of water on the other side of the table. </p><p>Lydia took it and the moment she had the water on her mouth, she realize how thirsty she was. The water was gone in just a few swallow.</p><p>“Another glass?” Sheriff offered, noticing her thirst. </p><p>She just nodded to answer, not confident in her voice. When she finish her second glass of water, Noah, offered her some breakfast which she didn’t decline even when she doesn’t really feel like eating... it’ll be rude to do so. </p><p>Lydia was glad that the sheriff didn’t asked about how she looks, why she’s cover in bandages and why she stayed the night again... he just asked if she sleep okay, if the food was alright, and if Stiles was gentleman enought to offer her his bed and sleep on the floor. She said yes to all his question, not giving the truth that the first time she slept on his bed, they have actually shared it, and last night when she woke up, she didn’t let Stiles go back to sleep on the floor. </p><p>It was a very nice breakfast with the sheriff, she didn’t even realized she had finished the full plate of food that was given to her by Noah. It also slips her attention that she was giggling on his ‘dad jokes’, and the stories he have from when Stiles and Scott was young. </p><p>After a few more laughs and stories, Noah grabs his shirt-uniform and get ready to go, as Lydia insisted to clean up as a thanks for the nice breakfast. </p><p>Both Lydia and Noah stop on their track, when loud bangings and a sound of someone tripping, covered the house.  </p><p>Both has some idea where it was coming from.</p><p>”Hey dad, did Lydia —“ Stiles said the moment he saw his dad as he runs down the stairs. He didn’t complete his question, because his dad was giving him some weird looks.</p><p>He then heard soft clatters on the kitchen, and look over to see what’s happening — then she saw his beautiful strawberry blond gilr godess cleaning the dishes.</p><p>Stiles felt like seeing a fantasy that made him bob his throat a few time. This was not supposed to look sexy but it is, a voice in his head said.</p><p>His bubble were burst when he’s dad stomp his boots loudly, and said, “well I’m off.” Then looking at Stiles like he was implying something. “Stay out of trouble, son.” </p><p>He was about to say a come back to his father when he said goodbye to Lydia and Lydia looking to the sheriff to said her own goodbye and thanks again for the breakfast. Stiles’s was not anle to do anything but just stare at his father unbelievably till he’s out of the door.</p><p>”Hey.” Lydia called, wiping her hands dry on the shirt she was wearing. “Want breakfast? Your father left some on the fridge, I could heat it up for you.” </p><p><em>Wow, who is this girl and what did she do to Lydia Martin? </em>Stiles couldn’t fathom what he was hearing. <em>Lydia</em> <em>Martin, offering to heat up his food, and looking so comfortable in his kitchen? Em I dreaming? Em I still asleep? And if I’m really awake, is this some kind of a parallel world that I woke up to? Cuz there is no way —</em></p><p><em>“</em>Stiles?” She was looking at him all confused, wondering why he haven’t answered her. </p><p>Stiles swallowed the lumps in his throat and finally was able to talk, “Sorry, just — I’m still not use to this.” He admitted, pointing to the two of them, “I didn’t know you know house works.” His mouth ran again without thinking, he just realized what he said when Lydia rise her eyebrow on him. “Or I mean... shit — fuck! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to — I was just... I—“</p><p>”Stiles!” She stops his babbling and chuckles. Stiles didn’t know if he should be glad or be terrified, “It’s okay. I don’t post like I know how to do any houseworks anyway.” She gave him a weak smile before continuing, “What I post is a dumb rich daughter, who’s obsess with her dickhead of a boyfriend.” Lydia finished looking down the ground. </p><p>That pained Stiles, “Hey...” he called, waiting for her to look up at him first. When she didn’t, he reach out to her and pull her face up softly, “I was just surprised that you’re willing to show me that.” He reach to her hand with his free hand. “You may post like a dumb girl at school, but, I know you’re not. I’ve seen your Math test scores, don’t even deny. And you’re not boyfriend crazy, Jackson tells people that you’re obsess with him, but I know you’re just letting him do it for his own amusement.” He squeeze her hand lightly letting her know that he’s serious and that he genuinely believes that she is not  <em>that</em> person.  </p><p>When Lydia didn’t find any lies in his eyes, she squeeze his hands back, “thank you.”</p><p>”What for?”</p><p>”For always helping me.”</p><p>“I —“</p><p>Before he can disagree, Lydia shakes her head no to him and said, “Really, Stiles... You’ve help me more than those people who posted to know me, and claims to be my friends. So just accept the gratitude, okay?”</p><p>”Okay.” He nodded, giving her a smile, as she pulls her to the kitchen and re-heats foods for his breakfast. </p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>They’ve been at her house for at least half an hour now.</p><p>Stiles just finished cleaning the mess in her kitchen and Stiles keeps fidgeting, itching to asked her a question.</p><p>After finishing his breakfast, and cleaning his own dishes (he insisted to clean his own plate, telling Lydia that she actually shouldn’t be doing any dishes when her hands have clearly not healed.), Lydia asked him for a favor.</p><p>Though Lydia’s not sure he should asked the favor, she’s afraid to go home alone. So she asked him if he could come home with her, but didn’t exactly gave him the details of why, she did mention the part where she’s not comfortable being alone, so Stiles agreed, <em>like that is even a question. </em></p><p>Before leaving Stiles house, he insisted on her to wear a sweatpants, saying that, she’s not leaving his house only wearing a shirt even if it’s long enough on her to consider as a dress. He then argue about all the cons and reasons he could think of, on why she’s shouldn’t leave without any type of clothing for her legs like it’s some kind of a crime. Lydia annoyingly agreed to him just to stop him from talking.  </p><p>When they got to her house, Lydia hesitated to get down. She looked around first her house first that confuses Stiles, and when she’s satisfied, she finally got down and started to watched to her front porch. </p><p>“Are expecting your parents to be here?” Stiles asked out of curiosity as Lydia unlocks the front door.</p><p>“Of course not.” She answered, looking at him like he just asked the most stupid question. Then it dawn to Stiles that, of course, she would not asked him to come with her if her parent were present. Lydia sighs deeply and continues, seeing Stiles still curious. “I wanna make sure that Jackson’s not around.”</p><p>His head suddenly boils, ”Did he —“</p><p>”Stiles...” she stops him before he could asked anymore, “I don’t really feel like talking about him, I just really need to clean up the mess I made at the kitchen, and get out of here fast.” </p><p>He nodded, following her inside. She told her to stay at the living room while she cleans up, but Stiles, being Stiles — he followed her to where she went few minutes after. </p><p>He was surprised at the scene he saw, it was like some kind of a crime scene — broken glass scattered around, dry blood pooling at the floor, drips of dry blood going around, then two hand prints of blood on the kitchen sink. </p><p>Lydia was standing there zoning out, like, she’s somewhere else and not there really.</p><p>When Stiles decided to move her, Lydia almost jumps in terror, but relax when she realize it was just Stiles who held her.</p><p>”Let me do it.” Stiles told her, having a bit of a clue on what happened, but not asking about it yet. “You should take a quick shower and get yourself out of those hideous clothes.” </p><p>“Hideous? This are your clothes.” She gave him a half smile, recognizing his humor.</p><p>”I know.” He gave her a smile back, then catching a look of the kitchen again. “Just... I’ll do it okay? But before that... please tell me that I’m not cleaning a murder scene here — my father will kill me if he found out I helped cover a murder.” He babbled. </p><p>Lydia giggled, almost hiding her face on his chest, “Don’t worry, no one’s murdered yet.” </p><p>“Yet? I’m not sure if I like how that sounds too.”</p><p>”Don’t worry Stiles, I won’t let your father kill you. I have to returned the favor of you saving my life anyway.”</p><p><em>Did he? Save her life? </em>He didn’t asked the question, and just puch her to go, Laughing as she tell him were the cleaning supply is, and telling him to make sure everything was spotless.</p><p> </p><p>When Lydia came back (all clean up, wearing her own clothes, and manage to put in new bandage in her hand) to the kitchen, it was spotless like she asked him to do so. “You’re good at cleaning.” She commended, while Stiles turns to her, grinning at her sarcasm. </p><p>“You’ve only hang out to me for two nights and you already got my dark humor. I’m not sure if I like that.” He joked.</p><p>Two seconds later, he’s back in his super curios mind, he really wanted to ask what happened, but he doesn’t want to upset Lydia.</p><p>”Spill it out Stiles, I’m starting to hate your ‘I want to ask a question, but I’m not sure if I should’ face” she told him, his faced full off questions and curiosity.</p><p>”Sorry, I just really — I want to know what happened.” He finally was able to let it out. “You don’t really need to answer if you don’t want to, but, I can’t promised to keep my face blank... it’s actually one of the factors why I can’t get out a lie, my face gave in immediately. Thus, getting in trouble a lot and — ” </p><p>“I broke a glass and grips a big shard of it tightly on my bare hands.” She confessed, fidgeting on bandages in her hand.  </p><p>There’s more to it, and Stiles knew. “That doesn’t explain —“</p><p>“If I tell you the whole story, can you promise not to over react?”</p><p><em>Overreact? You have a freaking crime scene at your kitchen! And let’s not forget the fact the you showed up at my house late in the evening, looking like you’re almost dying! </em>Stiles nodded, not trusting his voice, and trying his best to keep himself calm.</p><p>“Okay...” Lydia sigh deeply first, before starting. “Yesterday, Jackson he —“ she stops, seeing how angry Stiles already look from only mentioning Jackson’s name. “You promised.” She reminded her, and she didn’t continue until she thinks Stiles can handle it.</p><p>As he’s still looking a lot like he wants to punch something or someone, Lydia sighs again, then walk closer to Stiles who leaning at the sink, and reaching for his hand to hold. He relaxes a little bit — the only reason why she’s telling him about this is because he deserved it, she doesn’t really feel like keeping this from Stiles and makes him wonder, she doesn’t want him to think that she don’t trust him. “Stiles... please don’t do anything stupid anymore for me. I don’t deserve it.” </p><p>“Lydia, I —“ he looks down to their entertwining fingers, as Lydia trace it with her free hand.</p><p>”No Stiles. I need you to be safe. I can handle Jackson, and I’m not saying that you can’t, I just rather you not getting associated with him. It’s weird you know, I’ve only been with you for 2 nights and it’s already enough for me to know that you can keep me sane, so please — I need you to keep me sane Stiles.” Her eyes were watering a bit, but she wouldn’t let any tears stray off of her eyes.</p><p>Stiles wanted to protest, but he didn’t, he just focused on their hands, nodding his head again to her. </p><p>He should be freaking out from what she just said, but he’s glad he didn’t.</p><p>Lydia trust her, and he’ll do everything with his willpower not to lost it. He’ll be whatever it is she want’s him to be. </p><p>She told her the whole story of what has transpired yesterday, and it took him a lot of restrain and energy not to run to his jeep, drive to wherever Jackson might be, and fucking kill him. The only really thing that’s keeping him from doing any of that was Lydia’s hand clasped on him and the fact that he promised her not to be an idiot. </p><p>Lydia might not think she deserve anything good for her, but that doesn’t mean she deserves the things Jackson did to her.  </p><p>He was at least glad to know that she ended her relationship with Jackson — that was a big sigh of relief. </p><p>Stiles promised to himself that he’ll never let anything like that to happened again to this strawberry blond angel. Never.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lydia stayed another night at Stiles house.</p><p>She’s still shaken, and doesn’t like to be left alone on her big empty house. </p><p>Stiles didn’t want her to be left alone too, with what she just told him — so he told her she can stay at his place till her parents get back.</p><p>His dad didn’t hover too much on the two teenagers.</p><p>And though he didn’t asked the questions that Stiles know is bothering him, he told him the important parts:</p><p>
  <em>Her house is empty. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her parents will be back on Monday. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can’t let him be alone dad. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Something happened... something too personal that I can’t — I really want to explain the full length situation but —</em>
</p><p>Noah pats his sons shoulder and said, “I understand son... Just keep her safe.” As Stiles nods at his dad.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to get use to it, but, he’s starting to... and he can feel that this will most probably end badly. Yet, he refused to believe it, and refuse to let go of Lydia. </p><p>3 straight nights. </p><p>They been sleeping together, at the same bed, cuddling, breathing each others air — they have to agree though, that it’s a bit weird on both their part, that they were able to sleep comfortably, relax, and much longer than they have before.</p><p>Most of their nights alone were always filled with nightmares and sleepless nights... yet, when they are sleeping in each others arms, they sleep like a baby. </p><p>Noah is still clueless on their sleeping arrangements, but, he does trust Stiles that he won’t do anything so stupid that will ruin lives.</p><p>Monday morning came, a school day. </p><p>Lydia ask Stiles to drop her off her house, to get change, and get her stuff for school.</p><p>Stiles was willing to wait for her to finish whatever she needs to do, and just get to school together, but they’re already running late, so Lydia convince him to just get to school first. She told him that she doesn’t want him to get in trouble, and with the thoughtful and worried look on her face, Stiles sighed defeatedly. </p><p>He doesn’t really want to leave her all alone, he notice that her parents were still not there. <em>What kind of parent are they really — leaving there daughter alone in a big house, unprotected all the damn time. </em></p><p>He got to school just in time. </p><p>And the moment he got out his jeep, a hand collided hard on his face. <em>Jackson</em> —</p><p>Jackson punch him so hard, he lost balance and drop to the ground. He can feel blood coming off his nose,<em> God that hurts!</em></p><p>“That’s for being a nosy bastard!” He said, then kicking Stiles on his stomach, “And that’s for embarrassing me in front of a lot of people.” </p><p>Stiles were hissing and gasping from pain, Jackson kick him really hard on his stomach. He tried to get up, but the pain was a little too much. <em>Ahh, where’s Scott when you need him.</em></p><p>“That should serve as a lesson! Never get on my nerves again snot!” Jackson threaten, then spitting on Stiles before leaving.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>! <em>Fuck</em>! He never wanted to kill a person as much as he wanted to kill Jackson. The bastard thinks he owns everyone! And for what he did to Lydia —</p><p>“Fucking hell! Stiles!” Scott finally was there to help him up. “What happened?” </p><p>The pain still lingers on his face and on his stomach, his breathing hitched a little and, his head also throbs. “Jackson happened. It’s not a big deal.” </p><p>“See, this is what I told you would happened if you keep meddling with Lydia. Just give it up man!”</p><p>He didn’t like what Scott said, or even the sound of it. He wanted to get angry and tell Scott to fuck off, but, he’s just looking out for him and he can never hate him for that. “Well, you either help me protect Lydia from the likes of him, or just watch on the sidelines.” He paused, still wincing, “You didn’t see what he did to Lydia man. I can’t just let her be —“ <em>ahh, fuck — Did he broke a rib? It really fucking hurts. </em></p><p>Scott wanted to ask him what he means from that, but, Stiles is not looking really good that he had to get him to the school nurse office. </p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Lydia got to school really late, 4 classes already done, and students are getting ready for lunch. </p><p>She was supposed to arrive much earlier but her parents suddenly arrive and interrogated her about her cuts and bruises — she lied about... said that she slipped somewhere in the house, hitting her head first. She was able to get away from explaining what happened to her arm and hand since she was wearing a cardigan when they saw her. </p><p>
  <em>They asked like they care when it’s obvious they don’t. They even still act like a family when they have been broken a very long time ago.</em>
</p><p>Lydia’s parents have been seperated since she was 14. Though her parent are not together anymore, they still pretend they are in front of people — her mom would explain to her that they have to or people will talk about them, and their family name will be shamed.</p><p>Such a stupid reason... she knows that her dad is seeing his secretary, and soon enough, a divorce will be in place and her dad will leave them behind. </p><p>The first thing she look for when she got to school was Stiles. </p><p>She saw his jeep at the parking lot and stride to the cafeteria to search for him, but, she didn’t see him. <em>Huh, did he stay behind his last class before lunch? </em></p><p>Lydia was about to go and just stay at the library till her next class, but, she spotted Scott and went to him to ask Stiles whereabouts.</p><p>“Hi... Scott right?” She not sure why it came out like a question. Of course the guy is Scott, she knew him as one of their school lacrosse star player. Also, Jackson always bitch about him, saying that Scott McCall stole his position as Captain. </p><p>“Yes?” Scott look at him confused. Well, they never once talk before. Even when he saw her at Stiles place, the guy was just staring at her in unamused way, till she told Stiles that she’ll just go house. “Do you need anything from me?” Scott asked, while continue staring at her in question.</p><p>“No, I just... do you know where Stiles is?” </p><p>Scott didn’t answer immediately. He frowns and study her, before saying, “Why? What do you need from him?”</p><p>Lydia hated it when her question is being answered with a question too. She can feel that Scott doesn’t like her and she has no idea why. </p><p>Scott doesn’t seem to want to give her any information, so she just told him ‘nevermind’ and turn back.</p><p>”Wait —“ Scott catched her hand and held on it a little too tight, that made her jolts in pain. He held her wounded hand. </p><p>Scott notice her jolted and let go of her, then notice next her hand covered in bandage. “Sorry, I didn’t —“ </p><p>“It’s fine.” She cut him, shaking her head, trying to left go of the pain. She ran and brush her uninjured hand to her hair, unconsciously showing her forehead that have a big bandaid, and look back to Scott. “I’m okay.” She assured him.</p><p>Scott looks at her with a different expression now. He looks so sorry for what he did and, something more, “I’m sorry, again... I just — Stiles at the nurse office.”</p><p>”Nurse office? What happened?” Lydia voice were full of worry.</p><p>”He’s okay, but, the pain killers made him sleepy so the nurse allowed him to stay and rest.”</p><p>“Pain killers for what?” Lydia didn’t mean to sound irritated, she just really hates it when people keeps on beating behind the bush. </p><p>Scott look a bit hesitant to tell her the whole story, but, when he was about to tell her more about what happened, Lydia turns around and paces to the nurses office direction. She couldn’t wait for his answer any longer, she worried... too worried for the boy who she only known for 3 nights. </p><p>Well, how could she not when he’s the only person who’ve been really genuinely nice to her... who’s genuinely willing to help her. </p><p>She almost slammed the door open, looking immediately for Stiles. She spotted him right away, as he is the only person in the room and was putting on his shoes to get up. </p><p>Lydia sigh in relief, as she walks closer to Stiles. When she was about to speak, Stiles snap a look at her when he finished tying his shoes — the look of surprised in his eyes were evident as he does not expect her. </p><p>Stiles got up and keep his stare on Lydia, who looks like she just saw something horrifying, “Lydia, what are you —“ he didn’t finished. Lydia’s hand were all over his face, studying the red/purple color around his eyes. </p><p>“What happened?” She asked with an interrogatory voice that sent chills on Stiles spine.</p><p>”Nothing...” he answered, making Lydia glare at him. “I mean — I trip?” It sounded so much like a question that he almost wanted to punch himself on the face. </p><p>“Try again Stiles.” She challenge, her hands were on his face, carefully brushing her thumb over his bruise. He wince at the movement that Lydia let down her hands. </p><p>“I slip and trip, and got myself a black eye.” He finally answered, still sounding a little unsure, but, somewhat believable. He doesn’t really want to tell her about what happened that morning, I’ll just make her worry more and think that it’s her fault. </p><p>“I don’t believe you.” Stiles was about to protest, but, Lydia’s expression showed like she just realized something, and then she just started to stomp out of the room to the hallway.</p><p>”Wait, Lydia... where are you going?” Stiles followed behind, trying to catch up with her pace, yet, for a five-foot-three girl, wearing high heels — she walks really fast. </p><p>Stiles called on to her a few more times till he realized where she was going — <em>Men’s locker room, where all the lacrosse player who doesn’t want to spend their lunch time in food, but rather be smelly and sweaty to feel more musculated are... that includes Jackson. </em></p><p>Lydia stands out in the room full of boys, moving quick and searching fast for a particular person she wanted to speak too.     </p><p>When she found him at the corner, talking to his buddies, she screamed his name almost everyone present there look at her. “Jackson!”</p><p>Stiles just tails behind her, and is ready to protect her... though, Lydia emits a bloody murder aura right now. </p><p>Jackson weren’t shaken, he was just grinning, almost laughing, as he walks closer to Lydia, ”What? Are you here to finally beg me to come back to you?” He snarl, almost spitting. Then he looks pass Lydia and saw Stiles, posting more angry at Lydia, “Well, I don’t want a trash like —“ </p><p>Everyone who’s watching look stupefied, when Lydia straight punched the shit out of Jackson’s face with her small hands, almost making him drop on the floor. </p><p>She was in rage, and she doesn’t care if she just broke her hand hitting his hard face in process, she just really want to punch his face hard. She doesn’t care if everyone will think of her as crazy-mad-girl after this, she just diesn’t want to be that girl anymore — the stupid girl who always droll for Jackson, <em>not fucking anymore! </em></p><p>It took a few seconds before Jackson were able to react to what happened, his nose were bleeding, and it doesn’t look so aligned anymore, “You bitch! You fucking broke my nose!” He hisses, looking rage, but it couldn’t compare to Lydia’s.  </p><p>”And I’ll do worst if you don’t stop bothering my boyfriend!” </p><p>Everyone was again shock on her announcement, Stiles included. No one dared to give comments though, and the small redhead girl is still immiting a murderous aura. </p><p>”Boyf —“ Jackson tried to question it, but, Lydia’s already done with the conversation, so she turns away, glaring at everyone who’s around, with a silent threat that she won’t hesitate to do the same to others if they dare to get in her way. She then grabs the still dumbfounded Stiles’s hand and said, ”let’s go, I don’t want to waste another minute here“ dragging him out if the room not caring that he might trip somewhere cause his body still frozen.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stiles lets her drag him till they are out of the smelly men’s locker room, the hallway going to the cafeteria, then to the door out of the building. </p><p>Lydia doesn’t really have anywhere in mind where they should be going, she just wanted to get away as far as possible — Stiles finally notice this so, as soon they are out of the building, he stops, making Lydia stops next, turning to him in question and was about to say something when Stiles pulls her with him. He decided to turn back inside the building to the nurse office.  </p><p>When they are inside the room, the nurse is still nowhere in sight, so Stiles pushes Lydia softly to one of the bed, for her to sit down as he look for something.</p><p>Lydia’s all confused to what is happening but couldn’t bring herself to speak yet. She just watch Stiles look around the room, open every cupboard possible till he finds what he was looking for.</p><p>She couldn’t tell what he took from one of the cupboards till he wheeled a chair, sets it, then sit in front of her. He then takes her hand —the one that she punched Jackson’s face with— and study the injury before opening a box full of elastic bandage, gauze, and antiseptic, etc.</p><p>Lydia flinch a little to the touch, her hand is now stinging in pain. “Sorry —“ Stiles said, being careful and soft as he can be with her hands.</p><p>Lydia nodded to his apology and lt him do what he wants to do. She sighs to herself... Stiles have been doing a lot of caring for her in the past three days. <em>She’s</em> <em>such</em> <em>a</em> <em>pain</em> <em>in</em> <em>the</em> <em>ass</em>, she thought.</p><p>“Why did you do that? Now you have two injured hands.” Stiles tone with her was never repremanding or never something that will make her feel that she did something wrong... he was asking her that with so much care and worries.</p><p>He was rubbing somekind of cream to her hand that feels cold to her skin, replacing the ache she’s feeling. She watched him till he’s finished before answering, ”He deserved it... probably deserve more than that. It’s totally worth it.”</p><p>He was focus on what he was doing still, but smiled and let out a breathy laugh, yet stop fast, like he agree that Jackson deserve to be punch hard in the face but if she hurt herself in the process, then it’s not really much worth it. Lydia wanted to see his eyes to know that he is not angry, but he has his gaze to her hand. ”But how are you going to take notes?” He asked, as he put elastic bandage to her hand. </p><p>”I can learn without taking notes.”</p><p>”I don’t doubt that.” He sniffle another laugh, then finish bandaging her, studying every inch of her hand to see if there’s anymore injury or whatnot. </p><p>When Stiles gaze to her face, his expression turned from relief back to concerned and worried again. He reach his hand on her cheek and wipe something — a <em>tear</em>. </p><p>She didn’t even know she’s crying, and she doesn’t have a slightest idea why. </p><p>“Tell me how much it hurt?” Stiles asked, pointing at her hands. </p><p>“It doesn’t.” She said truthfully, because it doesn’t really hurt. </p><p>He look at her like he doesn’t believe her, but, there’s so much understanding behind it. His hand stayed at her cheek moving his thumb in soothing circles and his other hand carefully holding her new bandage hand. ”Okay... though you just got in, do you want me to get you home?”</p><p>That thought of being home almost scared her, ”I don’t want to go home.” Lydia answered, leaning on his touch. She doesn’t want her parents to hover with their fake concern.</p><p>Stiles stared at her thinking of other options. With what happened, he doesn’t really want Lydia to be out of his sight knowing that Jackson is around, ”How about my place? We can eat sweets, and popcorn, and watch movies till we pass out.”</p><p>She smiled at the thought, but thought of his welfare too, ”Aren’t you going to get in trouble if skip the rest of your class?”</p><p>It nice to think that Lydia cares about him and not want him to be getting in trouble. It’s making him smile widely with teeth, though, he’s trying to hide it but is certainly failing. ”No... the nurse told me she’ll excuse me to the rest of my class for today, told me to go home and rest before she left me to sleep here.”</p><p>He almost flinch when Lydia reach at his face, guiltily looking at his black eye. “I’m sorry.”  </p><p>“It’s not your fault.” He brought her hands back down and rested it to his lap. </p><p>She stay quiet for almost a minute then nodded with understanding ”Okay.”</p><p>”Okay.” </p><p>Stiles softly help her up, guiding her up, and out, back to the parking lot where his jeep is. They drop to his house in comfortable silent and did as he promised.</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>”Okay, spill it now or I’ll get it out of you the hard way?” Scott said, as Stiles gets the books he needs from his locker. </p><p>“Well, good morning to you too Scott.” He told him smiling in a little bit of annoyance.</p><p>”Ohh come on! When are we going to talk about it?” </p><p>Stiles just finished his business in his locker and walk away from his bestfriend, he’s not in the mood for any kind of interrogations so early in the morning. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”</p><p>”You and Lydia.” Scott announce, catching up fast to Stiles. </p><p>What came out of Scott’s mouth made Stiles halt. ”What about <em>us</em>?”</p><p>Scott’s face lit up with like he just caught him on a secret. ”See! When did you two of you become ‘us’? If I didn’t heard it from Greenberg I wouldn’t even know!”</p><p>He didn’t know how to really answer that question, and he didn't even realized the weight of the word ‘us’ till Scott took notice. ”Why are you even talking to Greenberg? Everybody hates Greenberg —“</p><p>”That is not the point!” Scott paused, talking a breath, then dragging Stiles inside an empty classroom. Stiles was about to protest when Scott opened his mouth again and said, “You’re spending an awful lot of time with Lydia for the past week.”</p><p>”So? Is there something wrong with that?” <em>Cause I see nothing wrong with that. </em></p><p>“Okay, let me get on with the list —“</p><p>”There’s a list?” Scott look at him with irritation that made him close his mouth and just wait for what his best friend is about to say. </p><p>“Monday, news about Lydia punching Jackson and breaking his nose went around the school like a wildfire. And ohh! The news didn’t stop there — Lydia apparently threaten everyone that she’ll do the same to anyone who’ll harm you, her new ‘boyfriend’, which by the way was confirmed to me by Greenberg at practice –that you didn’t attend– since he saw it firsthand —“ Scott made a hand movement for quotation to make emphasis that makes Stiles wants to slap him, “Then people saw you together —holding hands— going to the parking lot and driving away, skipping the rest of your classes. On th next day, the two of you are together again, and if not for classes, you two will be sticking by each other side like you’re glued together or something! We haven’t really talk for the past week, it’s like, you and Lydia suddenly have you’re own world! So tell me, what’s really going on?” </p><p><em>What really is going on</em>? Like hell Stiles knows. But is he going to complain? Of course not.</p><p>What Scott said is true... he and Lydia have been spending a lot of time together. That monday, Lydia spend another night at his house when they pass out on his bed from watching movies and possible due to much sugar — in the morning, Lydia didn’t even went home to change, just borrowed his shirt and made it look so fashionable with her skirt (he’s surprised Scott didn’t mention it with all his ranting —Scott knows all of his shirts).</p><p>And <em>yes</em>, they been practically glued together. Stiles just really don’t want Lydia to be alone knowing that Jackson is around, so as soon at the bell ring announcing the end of class, he’ll run out of the room to find Lydia, then walk her to her next class, and when the day is over, he’ll drive her home — or mostly to his house— <em>Yeah, that.</em>.. is something that he don’t want to wrap his head on. </p><p>When he pick Lydia to drive her to school on wednesday, she’s has this duffle bag with her which Stiles thought something for class, but, at the drive to her house, when he was about to take the turn going to her street, Lydia asked him if she can stay at his place cause her parents are again gone (of course he said yes), he then found out that the duffle bag have her clothes (though she refuse to wear nothing but Stiles shirts when she’s at his house, saying that his shirts are much more comfortable and he would just shrug ‘okay’), some toiletries, and make-up.</p><p>Lydia have been somewhat living at his house, sleeping at his room where Lydia insist to him not to sleep on floor but besides her, and had a silent agreement that cuddling will be normalized for them, because Lydia gets nightmare every night and she only calms down when Stiles hold her. They have been like that for a couple of days now and his so greatful that his father don’t hover about it. </p><p>Have he and Lydia talk about their arrangement thoroughly? <em>Nope</em>. </p><p>Does he think they should talk about it? <em>Yes</em>, but not yet... he likes what’s happening to them so much for him to end it fast. And <em>yes</em>, he knows that sounds kind of selfish. </p><p>Scott was still waiting for his answer, so he took a breath a told him what he needs to know. “Look, what you’re asking me is something I don't have answer for. I just- dude... I’ve been in love with this girl for so long and she’s finally looking at me — now, I’m not saying that I’m doing these just because of that, but, I’m doing this because she needs someone to be there for her, and I want to be that someone... even when she won’t reciprocate my feelings.”</p><p>Scott looks annoyed at first but changed to empathy, he just cares about his best friend and he don’t want him to get hurt. What he just told him seems like a recipe for a total heartbreak, and he’ve been broken far to many times already ”Alright... fine. Just- don’t close your world only for Lydia. We should all hangout soon, Kira’s been bugging me for a double date since she heard the news.”</p><p>Stiles is greatful that Scott is finally letting it be, but the thought of a double date seems like — Lydia and him is not even together. ”You told her? I can’t believe you!” Kira is nice, really nice. And, him and her seems to have a lot in common with their likes of movies, comic books, and actually a lot more, she’s like his little sister (speaking literally cause she’s tiny). With the notion of her being his little sister, she tends to get over excited when Stiles lovelife comes to life.</p><p>”She’s my girlfriend, what do you expect? And it’s not like I can hide anything from her, you know Kira, she’s like you when it comes to investigating -which the two of you likes to call ‘research’, which is scary. And I like to get to know Lydia, maybe even be friends, since you’re so keen on having her in your life.” Thought the last part is sarcasm, the sincerity in his voice makes Stiles want to hug Scott so tightly till he can’t breath. He just settles with a simple hug and a thank you to Scott.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Making this a chapter little cute for a change 😛 </p>
<p>I’m a sucker for thoughts and reviews! Please do give one! 😚</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>‘It’s like, you and Lydia suddenly have your own world’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>’Don’t close your world only for Lydia’</em>
</p>
<p>Scott’s words have manage to run around his head after the talk that they’ve had, and it seems to plague him more when he’s on his way home with Lydia sitting at his jeeps’ passenger seat.</p>
<p>Does he and Lydia really had created their own world where only them live? Would it be wrong to just continue like that? </p>
<p>Then an uneasy feeling came to his body.</p>
<p>
  <em>She needs me now... what if one day, she realize she doesn’t need him anymore? Just like Scott always think it’ll end for him.</em>
</p>
<p>That was a dangerous thought to go on so, he sighs to himself and push it away. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Lydia asked, looking at him worriedly. Her hand reaching to his arm.</p>
<p>His eyes followed the movement of her hand, where she squeeze a little and caress his arms slowly to let him know she there to listen. He made another sigh and put his eyes back to the road, trying not to think of the sensation Lydia’s touch is giving him.</p>
<p>”Nothing, just... Scott, he’s a little annoyed that I haven’t been hanging out with him.” </p>
<p>The ‘<em>Ohh</em>’ that come out from Lydia that sounded like guilt and anxiety, then she pull away her hand away from him placing it back to her lap, making him snap a look at her. </p>
<p>She looks sad, <em>why does she sad? </em></p>
<p>“I’m sorry for keeping you away from your best friend. My parents will be home tonight and I think they’ll be home for the rest of the week so...” she paused for a second to look at him and give him a small smile. “You can drop me off my house. You should hang out with Scott today, catch up or something.”</p>
<p>Her perfect smile is still sketch her lips, but it feels like something else to Stiles. So he took the jeep off the road, stop the engine and turn his whole body to Lydia.</p>
<p>Stiles slowy reach for her and take her face so that she will look at him, though her eyes well avoided his. </p>
<p>A tear fell off her eyes that Stiles quickly wipes. “Why are you crying?”</p>
<p>”What?” She asked innocently, like she’s not aware of the tear that fallen. </p>
<p>There’s something about being asked ‘Why are you crying’ or ‘Why are you sad’ that makes a person tear more. </p>
<p>Lydia were suddenly sobbing, but also cackling because she feels stupid as she knows she should not be crying.</p>
<p>She tried to wipe the tears on her own but Stiles hand is on the way. “I’m not crying, this is — I not sure what’s happening.” She insisted, hiding from a laugh again.</p>
<p>”Lydia.” His voice was so soft, and so caring. His eyes shows too many emotions and Lydia doesn’t know how to handle it.</p>
<p>She doesn’t know what came to her that made her close her eyes and lean forward Stiles, catching his lips on her and tasting her salty tears that touch his lips when she started kissing him. </p>
<p>He didn’t pull out. </p>
<p>He also didn’t kiss her back.</p>
<p><em>Well</em>, he would if he’s just not completely surprised on what she’s doing. So he stayed frozen, feeling her lips moving on his.</p>
<p>Lydia pulled back once she realized that Stiles didn’t react to her. She opened her closed eyes slowly and started scanning his face for something, <em>anything</em>. But, he’s just sitting there, looking more confuse than surprise.</p>
<p>“I-I... sorry!” She said, then opening her door and jumping out of the jeep.</p>
<p><em>He didn’t like it. I kissed him out of nowhere and he didn’t like it! How stupid can you be Lydia? Why did you ruin this? He’s the only person who likes to help you and now — god! Why am I like this?  </em>Lydia’s head is already running million miles and is so preoccupied with her thoughts that she didn’t even heard Stiles calling to her. </p>
<p>Stiles runs as fast as he can to immediately catch up with her, and when he did, he turned Lydia to him and held her shoulder tightly not allowing her to escape.</p>
<p>“You can not kiss me like that then walk away Lydia!” He told her, his tone were loud but not mad. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how or why I did it, and it was stupid. I didn’t —“</p>
<p>”Stupid?” He cut off, making Lydia paused. </p>
<p>His hand sliding off of her shoulders and the look of pain is all over his demeanor making her suddenly panic. “No... no, Stiles! It’s not —“</p>
<p>”let me... let me atleast get you home. I don’t want you to walk home all this way.” He interupted, not really looking at her now, then slowing turning back to his jeep.</p>
<p>
  <em>But... it was not stupid and she’s not really sorry she did it. She wanted to kiss him. She knows he’ll take care of her, he’ll love her, he’ll do everything for her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’ll save her... and she owns him that’s why she’s selfish with it comes to him.  </em>
</p>
<p>”I’m not really sorry that I kiss you.” She said, not too loud but enough for him to hear.</p>
<p>Stiles stop his track and turn back to her, they’re a few feet away from each other now. ”What?” </p>
<p>”I said, I’m not sorry that I kiss you.” She repeated, a little louder than the first one. “I-I wanted to kiss you.”</p>
<p>”What?” He was confuse and does’t understand what’s suddenly is happening. </p>
<p>“You always look at me like-like I’m some kind of a treasure, something so precious, special, but I am not Stiles.” She took a breath and a step forward him then continue, “I’m not a treasure, or special or anything precious at all. Most of the time, I think of me as a lost cost —“</p>
<p>”Lydia —“ he was about to tell her it’s not true, but Lydia shakes her head to stop him and let him know that she’s not finished. </p>
<p>“I’m a mess Stiles. You know that, everybody knows that.” She paused when she only a foot away from him. As she takes his hand and intertwined their fingers, “but... I don’t feel such a mess at all when I’m with you. Like I said before, you keep me sane, and you make me feel like how you look at me — that’s why I’m keeping you at arms length.” </p>
<p>Lydia’s eyes travel from their intertwined to his eyes, his eyes that is showing his good soul. “I’m selfish Stiles. I want you all for myself.” </p>
<p>His hold on her tigthens as he said, “I’m yours Lydia. I’m — God, I’m been yours since the beginning. But are you sure you want me?”</p>
<p>”Are you sure you want me?” She return the question to him, trying to warn him on her, “I’ll ruin you Stiles. I ruin everything”</p>
<p><em>I’m more ruined without you,</em> ”I don’t care.” </p>
<p>This time it’s Stiles who lean down to capture her lips. Both of them closed their eyes as their lips move together, feel together, heat together.</p>
<p>Stiles free hand moving to her neck pushing her closer to put more pressure on their kiss. Lydia gasp on the sensation, doing the same with her free hand and then biting his lower lip softly. He couldn’t help but open his mouth and push his tongue inside her, making her moan that sent an electricity on his groin. </p>
<p>It was hot, super hot, and if not for air they need in their lungs, they might have continue till they burn their lips on each other. </p>
<p>They’re both breathless, and a little dizzy from the kiss, forehead leaning at each other. </p>
<p>Stiles mouth were suddenly dry, and couldn’t utter a word, though, his not sure what he should say after that. Lydia pulls back and look him in the eye, her hand still on his neck as she unconsciously plays with the ends of his hair. </p>
<p>“We should —“ she stops not knowing what to say next. </p>
<p>“Yeah, we should —“ he doesn’t even know what he agreed on, and his face says it making Lydia laugh. </p>
<p>Like a silent agreement, they started to walk back to his jeep, reluctantly letting go of each others hand as they get inside.</p>
<p>As they both settled, still giddy and warm, Stiles ask, “do you still want me to get drop you off your house?”</p>
<p>She sighs and thought about it for a second.</p>
<p>She doesn’t really want to be away from him, what she said earlier is the truth... she wants him all to herself, and it’s not healthy, not for him and not for herself. Lydia doesn’t entirely know what’s happening to her. </p>
<p>Lydia almost said no to him, but thought better of it. She then decided to just be honest with him, “I don’t want to, but... I think, I should show my face to my parents. I practically been living at your place for more than a week now, I’m surprise sheriff hasn’t said anything about it yet, plus, I do think that you should catch up with your best friend. I don’t want Scott hating me more than he already is.” </p>
<p>“Scott doesn’t hate you. He just —”</p>
<p>“Doesn’t like me?” She finished for him. “It’s okay Stiles, if I’m your best friend, I wouldn’t like you hanging with me too.” </p>
<p>Stiles wanted to argue with her last statement, but, he knew Lydia will just argue back so instead said, ”Well, your not my bestfriend, so I’ll hangout with you whenever I want. Also, Scott told me he’s going to try and get along with you since he knows how much I feel for you.” He bit his lips, realizing that last part he just said. </p>
<p>He took a quick glance at her, trying to see any reaction. She got this sad small smile in her lips, and a wistful face. </p>
<p>“You really have a great friend.” She said.</p>
<p>”I do.” He agreed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the drive to her house was a comfortable quiet. </p>
<p>They both didn’t mind the silence between them, just humming with the low sound of the jeeps stereo. </p>
<p>“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Stiles asked, as Lydia get school bag at the backseat. </p>
<p>“Yeah.” She smiled, reaching for his face giving him a quick peck on the lips, before jumping off out the jeep.</p>
<p><em>So, that’s a thing now. Ha. </em>He’s sure he looks like an idiot being so surprised again, like it’s the first time she did it, like they didn’t made out just few minutes ago.</p>
<p>“Wait Lydia!” He called before she closes the door. She turns back to him waiting for him to say what he needs to say, “Scott he... it’s not a lie that he wanted to try and get along with you. He said we should all hangout together sometime, with Kira also.” </p>
<p>“Kira?”</p>
<p>”Scott’s girlfriend. She goes to a different school so you probably don’t know her, but, I think you’ll get along with her once you two meet.” A flash images of excited Kira made him smile a little. “Maybe this weekend we can all hangout?” </p>
<p>For a second, Stiles thought she won’t agree but she give him a reassuring smile and said, ”Sure, that will be great.” </p>
<p>Stiles really feel happy on how things are turning out. </p>
<p>Lydia closes the door, as he starts the jeeps’ engine again, but waited for her to get inside her house first before driving away.</p>
<p>Two, three steps away, Lydia turn back to her again and said, “And Stiles —“ she took a step forward back to him so that she’s sure he can hear her over the sound of the jeeps’ engine.  “From now on stop looking so surprise when I kiss you, it’s making me feel like I’m somewhat stealing your virtue.”</p>
<p>He felt heat on his face, cuz this mean that them kissing will be a reoccurring thing. <em>Does this mean I get to kiss her whenever I want to? </em></p>
<p><em>“</em>Yes.” She said, making sure he heard her. “You can kiss me too if you want.” </p>
<p>
  <em>Did She just answered the question he had in his head? He’s sure he didn’t said it out loud. Was it written in his forehead or something? </em>
</p>
<p>Lydia giggled like she’s hearing his thought. She bid her goodbye, and left the buffled Stiles by himself. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stiles feels good, and no amount of teasing from Scott will ruin it. </p><p>He did as Lydia told him to do, he hangout with Scott for the night, played some video games with him, catch up with his latest gossip (not really gossip, just stories about how in love he is, and a little stories about what’s going on the lacrosse team). Stiles realized that he should start getting back to practice, though he’s a little reluctant cause he knows Jackson will plot something and crash him, and that won’t be fun. It’ll also worried Lydia. </p><p>He’s torn. </p><p>The next morning. Saturday. He immediately got off bed, showered, dress nicely, and run straight to his jeep.</p><p>”Ah, ah, ah, and where are you running off so early in the morning?” His dad stopped him just in as he was about to step out the front door. </p><p>“Ahh, to Lydia.” He answered, with a little hesitation in his voice.</p><p>”It’s 8AM.” Noah pointed, looking suspiciously at his son.</p><p>“And?” He asked, a little confuse on what his dad’s point. </p><p>Noah couldn’t help but rub his face and sighs deeply, as his son’s a little slow in details sometimes, “Son, it’s too early to go to someones house. Aren’t her parents home?” Lydia have been sleeping in and out of his house for almost 2 weeks now, and he gathered that the only time Lydia won’t sleep over is when her parents are at home (though sometimes, even though her parents are at home she would still sleepover.)</p><p>“Don’t worry about that dad.” He told him, trying to run away again. </p><p>“Wait Stiles —“ Stiles almost stomp his feet back when his father call for him again. Noah had to sigh again before asking the question in his mind, he likes Lydia, he do, and his son looks utterly happy when she’s around, but loving too hard is never good, he knows that from experience. “Are you sure this won’t end badly for you?” He finally let out.</p><p>”Dad...” Stiles is not exactly sure how to answer that. He’s happy right now, but he also have this feeling at the bottom of his heart that, this, what he had with Lydia, can be taken as fast as it happened. If he answer him that he isn’t sure, his dad with probably do something about it, but also doesn’t want to lie. “It won’t, I promise.” He lied, but hopes that it won’t turn to be a lie someday. </p><p>Another sighs, as he pat his son on his shoulders, ”I trust you son.” </p><p>After that, Stiles run to his jeep without looking back to his dad, afraid that he might see the truth in his lie.</p><p> </p><p>That small talk he had with his dad made him thinking again. </p><p>He’s not saying that his day ruin his day, because his dad can never ruin his day ever no matter what. It’s just — </p><p>He sighs to himself before ringing Lydia’s house door bell. 2 rings and no one opened the door, he looks around and can see that her car is there at the back, her parents car though is nowhere in sight. </p><p>He tried again and when no one still answered, he started to get worried, his mind already starts to plan on how he can break-in the house. Then a minute later, the door clicks open revealing a very tired, sleep deprived-looking Lydia. </p><p>”Hey.” She greeted, giving a weak smile and moving to the side to let Stiles inside. </p><p>”Hey.” His voice sounded unsure. Lydia hugs her waist like she’s cold, blinking too much like she’s trying to wash the sleepiness away. “You look like you didn’t get any sleep at all.” He told her, but she look like she’s not really listening, smiling at him like he told her a joke. “please tell me you didn’t stay up all night?” He asked, getting another smile from her. </p><p>”I couldn’t sleep.” She admits, closing her eyes, breathing in, smiling weirdly, then pushing herself on him in a tight embrace. She breaths in again, nuzzling her nose to his chest, “You smell nice, and you’re warm.” She pulls him much closer and tighter, and it’s supposed to make his heart beats erratically but, there’s something wrong in the way she’s acting. </p><p>Stiles hug her back pushing the worried thoughts away for a second to ask, ”Where are your parents?”</p><p>”I’m not sure.” She answered, her face still buried on his chest. This height difference they have when she’s not wearing any heels is cute. </p><p>”Were they really here yesterday? Or did you just said that so I can hangout with Scott?” He wanted to lean away to see her face, but she wouldn’t let him. She says she’s a very selfish person and wants me to keep all to herself but... she just did something selfless. </p><p>”I thought they will be... I guess I was wrong.” She mumbled to his chest, making him feel like she’s starting to fall asleep. </p><p>”Why didn’t you tell me?” All those nights that they been sleeping besides each other, all those nightmares that wakes her in the middle of the night... maybe that’s why she looks so tired right now, at least when they are together, he can make her go back to sleep. </p><p>It took her a minute to finally answer him, ”I don’t want to interrupt your night with your best friend.”</p><p><em>See</em>, <em>selfless</em>. ”Lydia —“ Stiles tried to softly push her back, wanting to see her face but the girl were stubborn. “have you had breakfast yet?” </p><p>She shakes her head against his chest no, and said, ”I’m not hungry.”</p><p><em>Well, I am. And I have a feeling you haven’t ate since last night, so you're going to have to eat with me. </em>”Come on, let me make you a breakfast.”</p><p>She shakes her head ’no’ again, pulling him tight. </p><p>He sighs a bit defeatedly but didn’t give up, “We can’t stand up here hugging all day Lyds. And I haven’t had breakfast yet, so I’m a bit hungry.” He told her truthfully. </p><p>Slowly her head push back, finally releasing him in a tight hug, but is still clutching his shirt down his waist. “Okay” she said, without looking at his face. </p><p>He doesn’t understand why she keeps on hiding her face from him. He put a finger under her chin and push it up so she’s facing him — he waited for her to look him in the eye before saying anything. </p><p><em>Her eyes were a bit red and her pupils were dilated</em>... he just realized that now. Is she high right now? — instead of asking about it or pointing it out, he lace their fingers together as he guide her to the kitchen</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Stiles managed to make Lydia ate the scramble eggs he made. She didn’t finished it but she at least ate more a half of the portion he gave her. </p><p>After breakfast, they hangout at her room, where he almost felt like he was nursing a sick with fever person. Lydia’s sticking to his waist, as she keeps mumbling how he smells so good, and how warm he is, and it makes her comfortable. Stiles would just sighs to calm and control hisself. </p><p>It was a little hard to move when there’s this girl who wouldn’t let go of his waist no matter what he says, he still manage to get her laptop and told her that they’re going to watched a movie. He actually intends for her to fall asleep — she really needs it. </p><p>A little over 30 minutes from their second movie, that he didn’t even paid a minute of his attention, Lydia finally fell asleep, both her hands still embrace tight his waist and her head resting at his shoulder. </p><p>He wanted to move her, to lay her in a much comfortable position on her bed, but he doesn’t really want to risk waking her. </p><p>Kissing her temple, he push her laptop away, putting it to her bedside drawer, and being so careful not to move or wake her.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t realized he actually dozed off to sleep, he then startled awake by his vibrating and ringing phone. </p><p>Lydia is still sleeping at his side, facing him. He then realized that they’re laying on her bed completely, he wonders a bit how did that happened. One of Lydia’s hand cleched on his shirt by his chest and the other is around his waist. </p><p>How beautiful she looks. They’ve been sleeping together for a handful of time now, but, this is the first time he’s studying her face this close. Those soft freckles that around her nose, how long her lashes really are, how her cheeks is tinted rose, and how her lips... <em>ahh, her lips.</em></p><p>She was mumbling something, a <em>name</em>? But it was too soft for him to hear, he move his face closer to her, but, almost jumps away when his phone started ringing again. He pull it out his pocket and saw that it’s Scott’s calling — <em>every damn time. </em></p><p>“Hello?” He said, a little sleep in his voice.  </p><p>”Ohh, were you sleeping?” </p><p>He glance down at Lydia who seems unbothered by the noise, and is still in deep sleep, so he continue his conversation with Scott. ”Well, I’m awake now. What’s up?”</p><p>”I knew it! I knew you’ll forget.” He can picture Scott’s face but the tone of his voice there. </p><p>”Forget what?” He asked, confused on what he is talking. </p><p>”You agreed to hangout tonight, with Kira and Lydia. Remember?” </p><p><em>Ahhh that... </em>“Oh shit.” He voice went a little too high making him worry that, that might wake Lydia. Thankfully she just stir a little and snuggle closer for warmth. </p><p>”Does this mean we won’t be hanging out tonight?” Scott said, sounding a little disappointed. </p><p>“What? No, no, we can still hangout, just— can you give us 30 minutes?” He told him, he also thinks that this will be good for Lydia too. Hanging out with people who really cares and listen. </p><p>“Sure. Meet at us at Doug’s Diner.” Scott’s agree, ending the call there. </p><p>He sighs, glancing down again to Lydia. He doesn’t really want to wake her, she looks peaceful. </p><p>He looks back at his phone to check the time, surprised that it’s passed 5PM. He was asleep for that long, <em>wow</em>. That also means, Lydia’s been sleeping for almost 7 hours — he’s relief for that. </p><p>Before he forgets his promised to Scott, he started to softly nudge Lydia awake, ”Lydia... Lyds —“ she started stirring, but kept her eyes closed, mumbling something like, ‘<em>no... it’s comfy’ </em>he chuckles, but continue nudging her, and said, “I’m sorry for taking your comfort away, but, I actually promised Scott to hangout tonight” and like a flicker of a finger, Lydia opened her eyes and looking at him with an ‘Ohh’ leaving her mouth. She sounded sad and a little disappointed, so he continue, “I also promised him that you’re coming with me, so —“</p><p>She made another ‘<em>Ohh</em>’ but now it sounded like a relief, then she followed it with an, ”Okay.” As she quickly gets up to find the perfect clothes to change into. </p><p>Stiles wants to laugh out loud because of the quick change of attitude and sleepiness all forgotten. </p><p>She got back to him holding about 4 outfits, asking for his opinion. Lydia smack him in the arm when all he says is ‘you’re beautiful’ to anything she tried on and complained that his opinion sucks.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>People’s been asking for something smut... I can’t, not for this chapter at the least. Be patient with me?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Lydia was five when she first thought that having a friend is not really worth it, especially when the other kid never understand anything she is saying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The other kids will say that she only use big words and that she’s boring because all she wants to do is read books that doesn’t even have a single picture in it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She didn’t care about that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her parents adores her and they boasted about her to everyone. About how she was able to read at the age of two, how she can already do math at the age of three, how she can speak different languages at the age of five.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She felt special. Proud. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Soon she found that her parents boast about her and took pride on her, to make her parents ‘friend’ envy them, their so called ‘perfect family’ — that her parents doesn’t really care what she can do, they care how it’ll make others be jealous of ‘them’.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At seven she close those big books and started to read books with beautiful and colorful pictures in it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She hated those books.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When Lydia turn 11, the girls in her class started to talk about boys.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They talk about ‘Nate’ — the 6th grader who has a nice blond hair, baby blue eyes, and plays soccer really well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One of the girls would asked Lydia, ‘Doesn’t he look dreamy?’ and she has to agree even though she knew how stupid and dumb Nate is, and because she has to keep up with her ‘friends’. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She doesn’t really like them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia doesn’t really like anyone, but she needs to survive. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s lonely.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her parents doesn’t gave her attention anymore. They also started to fight just about everything, and her grandma who she loves more than her parents... they’ve been keeping her away from her, they would always say that ‘Nana’s sick’.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> She knew she’s smart, but she doesn’t really understand anything tat’a going on with her life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s lonely.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So no matter how she hates her ‘friends’, she agrees with them, she giggles and laughs with them, she talk about boys with them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Everything are just... fake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her family is fake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her friends are fake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s fake.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Lydia woke up with a soft nudge on her shoulder. </p><p>She didn’t understand what was going on for a second, but as soon as her eyes landed on Stiles, she remembered. </p><p>She remember that they’re going to hangout with Scott and his girlfriend. She remembered that she’ll have to make friends with them, that she’ll have to make them like her for Stiles, and she doesn’t really know how to feel about that.</p><p>
  <em>Will this end up like how she makes ‘friends’ with Jackson’s so called friends? </em>
</p><p>Jackson never really like her having <em>friends</em>.</p><p>He likes her to always be at arms length, and he likes all of her attention to revolves around him. He also likes her to be his trophy, to always make him look and feel good — that means she has to make <em>his</em> <em>friends</em> envy and be jealous at him.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Stiles ask when she didn’t make a move to take her seatbelt off. </p><p>His concerned and worried eyes were studying her, trying to guess what’s going on in her head, trying to find a way to figure what’s wrong and to help her. <em>No, this will never end up like Jackson’s. </em></p><p>If Stiles looks at her like this, she’s sure that it’ll be okay. </p><p>He won’t get angry if she can’t amuse his friends, he won’t chatised her if she can’t make his friends jealous of him, and if his friend doesn’t like her — he won’t tell her how useless she is. </p><p>He never asked anything of her that she’s not willing to give or do.  </p><p>“I’m fine.” She assured him, giving him small smile. </p><p>“Are you sure?” He asked, not convince with her answer.  </p><p>”Yeah.” She widens the smile she’s showing and reach at his cheeks, rubbing her thumb softly to ease his worry. </p><p>He leans in at her touch, “Lydia —“ he called her name even when she’s already looking at him, “You can talk to me, you know that right?” He covers her hand that’s still touching his face with his, and slowly slide her hand to his lips, pressing a kissing to her palm, her wrist. </p><p>He holds her hand with both his hands now, tightly clutching on it, but careful not to hurt her and leaning it back his cheeks. </p><p>The affection from the action he did is overflowing. Lydia doesn’t know yet how to deal with it — she’s not used to it. </p><p>She nodded, afraid of the sound of her voice will make if she’ll try to speak.</p><p>They stare at each other for about 20 second till it got too much for both them. Some space is needed or they might do something stupid, so Stiles let go of her hand even when he doesn’t want to, then both got off the jeep.</p><p> </p><p>Scott was alone when they entered the diner. He was waving his hand excitedly to the both of them with a big smile on his face and Stiles started to think that this might be a bad idea.</p><p>“Where’s Kira?” He ask as soon as they’re at the booth Scott got them. </p><p>“Restroom.” He answered, not talking his eyes off the girl besides Stiles.</p><p>Lydia suddenly felt the need to go to the restroom too when she heard the word, so she excuse herself for a second. </p><p>As soon as she was out of earshot, Stiles smack Scott on his neck, “what the hell are you doing?”</p><p>”What?” He feign ignorance that made Stiles more annoyed.</p><p>“Stop staring! It’s not nice!”</p><p>”I can’t help it dude! It’s so unreal!”</p><p>”Yeah it is, but can you refrain from staring? It’ll make everything awkward and weird! And don’t you dare say something that will embarrass me.” He threaten uselessly as Scott’s laughs at how he points a finger at him. </p><p>“I can’t promise that.” He told him, moving his fingers away, “And I can bet that you’ll embarrass yourself first before I can even say anything.” He finished teasingly, patting Stiles back and sliding back the booth. </p><p>”I hate you.” He told him, staring irritatedly at his bestfriend. Well, he can’t argue with what he just said. </p><p>”I love you too, man” he teases again, so Stiles resort to kicking Scotts shin to at least get back on him. </p><p> </p><p>The girls got back together after few minutes. </p><p>They didn’t really know each other yet, but had a feeling that they are about to when they both walk towards the same booth. </p><p>Stiles and Scott were talking about something but stop when they see the two girls. </p><p>Stiles did the introduction, pointing to Scott first to formally have Lydia’s acquaintance, then to Kira who excitedly hugs Lydia taking her by surprise.  </p><p>“She’s a hugger.” Stiles explains, like he’s apologising that only made Lydia giggle. </p><p>The group talk mostly about movies after getting their food. </p><p>Movies they’ve already watched, movies they haven’t watch, and movies they are planning to watch. </p><p>Everyone was just laughing at Stiles bad impersonations.  </p><p>It’s a new side Lydia was able to witness, and she’s glad because, he’s always been so careful around her.  </p><p>One more thing that makes Lydia feel warm about this dinner is that, they made sure to always include Lydia to the topic, never letting her get lost on the inside jokes Scott and Stiles unconsciously spite. </p><p>It was really, really great.</p><p>Lydia never thought it’ll be <em>that</em> great. </p><p>They even already planned what they are going to be doing next time. </p><p><em>Next</em> <em>time</em>... it was a nice word to be heard on Lydia’s ears — a promised of friendship... and it’s so genuine that she can’t help but be a little overwhelm. </p><p>At the end of their dinner, Lydia couldn’t help but be quiet. Only smiling goodbye to the couple she’s just started to get to know. </p><p>Stiles notice, like how he always notice, but he’a not saying anything yet. </p><p>He also didn’t ask her if she wants to be drive back home, he just drive them back to his place. </p><p>When the jeeps engine stops, Lydia was bought back to reality. She didn’t realized she’s been in daze since they drive off the diner. </p><p>When she turned away off the the window to take her seatbelt off, Stiles were looking at her with wonder.</p><p>She almost got afraid. Afraid that Stiles was angry at her for something she done wrong while they’re at dinner. </p><p>Lydia was able to breath normal again when he smiles as he takes one of her hand to kiss and hold. “That was a really nice dinner.” He said, looking at their hands.</p><p>Lydia nodded in agreement even though he was not looking at her.</p><p>“You were perfect.” He murmurs, as he kiss her hand again. </p><p>Lydia couldn’t help the smile that’s tugging on her lips. He knew she was overwhelm from the kind of affection and friendship his friend are willing to offer her, and she just not use to it yet. So, instead of asking her questions on what she thinks, and about how the dinner went for her, he will shower her with assurance that she was great with his friends and what she’s feeling is normal. </p><p>She wanted to tell him how mich she appreciates him and how thankful she is, but, she still couldn’t speak. It’s like, somethings is blocking her throat and she just — “Is your father home?” She somehow blurted. </p><p>He looks at her with confused eyes, her a ‘little odd’ question somehow throws him off. “No. His on nightshift, why?”</p><p>”Good.” She told him, and before he can even asked more questions, she was already hopping out the jeep, walking around it to pull him out of the jeep too, then drags him inside his house.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stiles woke and bolted up in a hurry needing to get to the bathroom, quickly. He didn’t even realized that he’s in a tangled mess of limbs with someone when he got up. </p><p>The other person in his bed, Lydia, who woke up, startled in pain after her legs were twisted and drag somewhere. She hissed loudly, pushing off the weight that dragged her legs, as she rubs the pain away. </p><p>Laying facedown his bedroom floor, Stiles ignored what just happened and run quickly to the bathroom before he burst, and end up peeing all over his room. </p><p> </p><p>Sighing in relief, Stiles shakes from the tingling sensation of being able to release the water off of his bladder. </p><p>Another sigh left him after he finished, flushing, and going to the sink to wash his hands. </p><p>After washing his hands, looking through the mirror, and seeing how he look, it all dawn to him. </p><p><em>Shit</em>. His father is going to kill him.</p><p>He look down on himself, like he’d only realized that his completely naked. Like butt-naked-wearing-only-his-birthday-suit-naked.</p><p><em>Shit</em>. </p><p>He knew that his father comes home around this time of the day after finishing a tiresome nightshift. Though, he’s not sure if his dad is already home or if he’s still on the drive home, either way, he doesn’t want his father to see him in his naked state. </p><p>It’s one thing seeing him walking around the house naked, it’s another thing seeing him walking around the house <em>butt</em>-<em>naked and covered in small star-like bruises — let’s also mention that his dad knows how Lydia’s been sleeping at his bedroom whenever she stays over, and she always stays over almost everyday.</em></p><p>This will result to an awkward, humiliating, traumatic conversation that he never want to experience, ever.</p><p>So, he softly opens the bathroom door peers at the hallway, look left and right, then runs back his room, almost slamming the door and locking it. He sighs in relief knowing his father’s not yet home. </p><p>“Well that’s interesting... even though you almost break my leg.” Lydia’s voice filled the room that made him jumps in surprised, turning to her in red face (more red, when he realized that Lydia is completely naked under those sheet) “And what a nice sight to see in the morning” she teases, nodding at him, not even hiding the fact where she’s staring at, as Stiles remember his nakedness and tries to cover what he can with his hands. <em>Well</em>, he’s mostly covering his dick cause that’s where Lydia is staring at, one of her eyebrows rise and is grinning, and Stiles doesn’t know if he should be scared or get excited.</p><p>Lydia burst in laughs, covering her face with her hands, trying hard to stop so she can speak again. “Seriously? I’ve seen <em>that</em> all last night, you had <em>that</em> inside of me, <em>literally</em>, for more than an hour if I’m not mistaken. Why are you covering it now?” </p><p>He doesn’t have a smart response to that, his mind is literally blank in embarrassment. So he stayed quiet, still covering his genital, and stood frozen at the door.</p><p>”Ohh.” Lydia’s smile slowly faded and her face suddenly falls. Her face contorted in some kind of realization. “Last night...” she started, not looking at Stiles face anymore, but at her hand that’s fisting the sheet, her knuckles turning while. “It was a mistake isn’t it?” </p><p>He couldn’t really see her face now as she had her face down, hiding herself, then moving her body to make her look smaller, like she trying to disappear. </p><p>The sheet where she had her hand fisted, slowly being stained with tears. </p><p><em>Ohh</em> <em>fuck</em>.</p><p>Stiles immediately sat down beside her, holding her face up, coaxing her to look at his eyes. “Hey, hey. No, okay. No.” He starts rubbing his thumbs on her cheeks, wiping the tears away in process. “It’s not a mistake, okay. Nothing about you is a mistake, I was just... I don’t know, shy and embarrassed? Embarrassed, not because of what we did last night, but because of how lame I was when I woke up, and how un-cool I’m few minutes ago. I’m sorry.” He smiles when Lydia finally look at him and softly giggles at his confession.</p><p>“You’re not lame.” She told him, and it almost like a whisper that made his spine shiver, as she catch her breath from crying. </p><p>She stop fisting her hand on the sheet, moving it up to hold his wrist soothingly. Stiles continue to rub his thumb on her cheeks, relaxing her. “Last night was amazing, definitely one of the best night of my life, okay? So please, please stop crying? Cause no matter how beautiful you are when you cry, when you cry because you’re hurting, I hate it. Especially, when it’s because of me.” </p><p>Lydia barks a laugh, feeling giddy now at his choice of words. Every doubting feeling she had earlier, vanish. </p><p><em>God she’s so beautiful when she laughs, </em>Stiles thought. And he couldn’t help but ask, “Can I kiss you?”</p><p>She giggles again, then nods her head, sliding her hand that’s previously holding his wrist to his neck and slowly pulling him close to her lips. ”You don’t even need to ask.”</p><p>The kiss went from slow, to hungry-I-want-more type of kiss. Stiles nipping at Lydia’s lower lip, making her open her mouth wide to let his tongue taste her, not caring how both of them haven’t yet brush their teeth. </p><p>As Lydia sinks at the sensation of his tongue on her mouth, her other hand that’s been holding the sheet to her chest, drops down to Stiles knees and slowly rills it up to his thigh.</p><p>Stiles didn’t miss the movement of her hand on his thigh, so before he lose what little control he have, he hold to stop her hand and reluctantly pulls away from her lips, leaning his forehead on hers, eyes still close. He had to take a breath, swallow the lump forming on his throat, before saying, “As much as I love doing more than what we are already doing, my dad will be home any minute, and we don’t want him finding out that my door is lock and proceeds to knock to ask us to explain. We should get dress.” She didn’t speak, but he can hear her breathe out in displease. </p><p>She removed her hand from his thigh and slowly opens her eyes. She almost laugh, <em>almost</em>. Cause, her eyes landed at his erected penis and when she lifted her gaze to his eye, the guy is staring at her breast, bobbing his throat every second. Lydia had to bite her lower lip hard to not let her laugh escape. </p><p>This is best reaction and most genuine she’d ever gotten from all the guys she had sleep with. <em>Stiles is different. Stiles is good. Stiles can save me. </em></p><p>That has been her mantra lately.</p><p>”Part of you doesn’t seem to think so.” She teases, looking at his hard-on again.</p><p>He choke on himself when he realized what she meant. He turns away fast, Lydia’s a bit worried he just got whiplash. She bit harder on her lips as she watch Stiles scrambled the floor looking for a shirt to toss to her, and find his boxer for himself to wear.</p><p>Lydia was not able to keep herself from laughing loudly, when he step on her bra and trips over, stumbling, going to his closet get more clothes. </p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The early afternoon was quiet. </p><p>It was quiet for Stiles, at least. </p><p>After embarrassing himself more in front of Lydia that morning, he at least managed to wear his clothes correctly, managed to wash his face and brush his teeth quickly without hurting himself, managed to get down the kitchen without falling down the stairs or break his neck, and he manages to cook breakfast without setting his house on fire. </p><p>And <em>ohh</em>, he managed to ignore his hard-on and cool his body while he waits for Lydia to get dress and get down the kitchen to eat breakfast with him. </p><p>She was laughing all morning, and <em>god</em>, it was a symphony to his ears. He suddenly didn’t care how much he embarrass himself in front of her as long as she laughs like that. So alive, so real.</p><p>His dad got home in the middle of them eating breakfast, much to his luck.</p><p>The poor old man just grab water to drink, after saying goodmorning to the two teens and head to his room straight saying not to bother him cuz he needs sleep. Stiles made a mental note to make a good dinner (cuz he won’t be waking up till late in the afternoon) for his father to ease the stress. </p><p>Just as he was thinking of what he and Lydia can do for the day, her parents called and ask her to go home. </p><p>So now... he’s alone in his room, laying on his bed, staring at the roof of his bedroom like it’s suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. </p><p>It’s really rare for Stiles to be this still, and not have a lot on his mind. He can’t even think of a day where he didn’t have anything in his head (ADHD, stress, anxiety, etc. can do that to you.), he thinks he haven’t even drink his medication for the day yet. </p><p>
  <em>Huh. Weird. </em>
</p><p>The wind blows and enter his room from the open window he didn’t have the care to close.</p><p>When the wind hit his face and gave him goosebumps, his mind were suddenly flooded of memories from last night. </p><p>
  <em>Me and Lydia. Me and Lydia had... me and Lydia had-had sex! And it’s not just once, i-it’s multiple times! And god! It’s so good! It’s —</em>
</p><p>He jumps off of his bed, put his hands up in the air and scream ‘yes!’ like his favorite baseball player just made a homerun and won the game. </p><p>This is him not bragging to himself that he finally got devirginize. This is not him being happy that he had sex with the girl he’s been dreaming of, ever since he found out what the word ‘sex’ mean. This not him not telling people ‘in your face!’, for telling him that he will stay single and a virgin for the rest of his life. </p><p>This — this is him being plainly happy. That <em>he</em> made her happy. </p><p>That the girl he’ve been in love with since before his puberty even begins, is trusting him to this extend. He just knows and he feels that this — this is not <em>just</em> <em>sex</em>. </p><p>He continue jumping up and down, punching the air in victory, and screaming the same word over, and over again — that, until his father throws something on his head to get his attention and told him to fucking shut-up and let him sleep in peace. </p><p>He shuts up for a few seconds till he screams again. </p><p>His father had to kick him out of the house just so he can get the sleep that he needs. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m afraid to write smut, cause I’m not really good at it. Next chap, I’ll try hard it. Please be patient with me 🥺</p><p>Also, I’m a bum.<br/>Writing and reading are the only thing that’s keeping me from thinking about how depressing my life is.<br/>After losing my job (due to the pandemic) I can’t seem to get a job. I’m borderline want to beg people for money, anyone here want to help me? Or help me get a job? Haha... I’ll probably die soon haha.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay. First of, I’m really bad in writing smut, not that I’m uncomfortable with it, but maybe I lack imagination? I mean, I read a lot of smut and porn-like fic and books, but, when I’m the one who’s writing it, it just... I don’t know. Hope this is enough though.</p><p>Ohh this is a bit longer than my usual words count for this fic. Enjoy haha</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Lydia drags him to his room quickly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s a little confused to what is going on. But, after she locks the closed door and turns back to him with a playful and mischievous eyes, he may have had an idea where this night is going.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She slowly walks towards him, and him trying his best not lose his cool (but definitely failing) started to step back, mimicking her slow pace.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The smug smile Lydia have on her lips is kind of getting into his nerves. He just want to wipe it off with his mouth, but he didn’t have that strenght yet.    </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When the back of his knee hit his bed, and Lydia still walking close to him, he couldn’t help swallowing a lump that is forming in the back of his throat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles heart is now beating really fast. Too fast that he thinks his heart will burst out of his chest any second now. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thing is, even though he has an idea on what is about to happen, his innocent(?) mind still didn’t thought that this is really going to be happening tonight. Well, he never thought this could really happened (he imagine it and wanted it to happened, doesn’t mean he expected it to actually happened.) he’s quite contented with whatever they have now and doesn’t expect her to do anything beyond, so, he doesn’t know how to feel about this... not yet, at least.</em>
</p><p><em>Not even a foot away anymore, Lydia place both her hands flat on his chest. Biting her lower lip, fighting her excitement.</em> <em> She push him on his bed, not expecting Stiles to pull her with him by holding her waist. ‘Well that’s unexpected’, She thought. </em></p><p>
  <em>Stiles can feel Lydia’s whole weight above him, how their chest pushing together when they take a breath. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s getting heavy. Not her weight on him, but their breaths that is mixing together. Eyes glued at each others. </em>
</p><p><em>’How come his eyes shines like those of stars in the sky when the room is dim?’ another thought she had in mind. He doesn’t move, not even those hands slightly gripping her waist. The only movement he can’t help make is his heaving chest from breathing, though she’s sure he’s trying not to do that too. ‘</em> <em>What self-restraint he has. If he’s a different guy, I’m sure he’d already jump up on me and not even think of waiting.’ </em></p><p>
  <em>This is really unusual for Lydia. Unusual but somehow good. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>No one waits for her. Everybody just takes what they want, what they need. No one ever ask her what she wants or what she needs. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Being still for a minute feels a little to much now, Lydia have to move. She needs to feel. So she inch her face on him, their lips touch in a second. ‘Not enough.’ She thought, so, she opens her mouth and nips on his lower lips, silently asking him to open up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles opens his mouth for her, giving her what she wants without any question. Already releasing a low moan he didn’t expect, as Lydia slides her tongue inside to deepened their kiss. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He feels her smiles, liking the moan he made. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia push herself up with both her hand that is now on either side of his head, without letting their lips seperate. She push herself up just enough for her to straddle him, then pushing her hips down to create some kind of friction. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Another moan left him with what she just did, and his hands that gentlemanly stayed on her waist couldn’t help but grip tighter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s conflicted. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Conflicted by feeling good with the sensation this is giving him — wanting to just lose all kinds of control, and how his brain is telling him to stop for a moment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The part of his brain that is telling him to stop must have been stronger because when Lydia started to strip her cardigan, and push herself hard to his groin again, he turned them around quickly, without letting her react. Pushing his aching lips away from her by leaning their foreheads together, but still hovering. He can hear her whine that made him almost regret stoping this, but... he needs to know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Lydia...” his voice hoarse, and is just a whisper. It surprised him, but he decided to ignore the feeling. “What are you doing?” He tried his best not to sound like he’s accusing her of something bad.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She opened her eyes, and see how much he’s trying to control himself. She could just ignore his question and push their lips together again, it won’t be hard, he’s just a few centimeters away and he’s barely holding on control, but she decided against it. He needs answers and she’s giving it — he deserves it. ”I’m sure you know what I’m doing.” Well, she didn’t say she’ll give the answers that easily. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Okay.” He smirk. He knows what she’s playing. “What I actually mean is, why?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She frowned from his question, ”Don’t you want to?” And it’s like he can hear the frown on her face that he had to open his eyes which he kept close when he started this conversation. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sat up with a sigh, then settling Lydia on his lap as he softly cradle her face with both his hands. ”Are you kidding me? Of course I want to!” He told her truthfully, “Just... if you’re doing this because you think you should be doing this, then, maybe we should stop. I don’t want you to be doing anything that you don’t really want to be doing.” It sounded like a play of words but he hopes she understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she does understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>’He’s so good to me.’ She thought. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia push her forehead to his, and mimicks how he cradles her face, then sighs in contentment. ”I don’t think of this as some kind of obligation or something... I want to do it because I want to feel you Stiles. I want to feel you in a level that I haven’t yet —“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Fuck.” He couldn’t help but say that, cutting her off. She’s making him all nervous with those words coming out of her. It’s somehow sounds like a prayer in his ears... feels so intense. He had to drop his head on her shoulder hiding his face, his arms, wrapping around Lydia’s small waist as he pulls her closer to him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She smells so heavenly, and he’s surrounded by it. He couldn’t asked for more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His hair is soft from her touch, her fingers running up and down his scalp. “You’re warm.” She said softly, they’ve been quiet for what seems like hours, though, she knows it’s only been a minute. “I never felt warm with anybody before.” She starts to confess, “It’s always cold... empty. Sex, alcohol, even drugs, is something I often do to fill something in me, but it never really fill my heart or my soul — It’s just oblivion.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn’t know why he was crying. He didn’t even realized it until Lydia pull his head up to look at him and wipe his tears away. She’s smiling, and she’s so beautiful, it hurts him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She kiss his eyes, his forehead, his nose, his cheeks. She hovers close on his lips pushing her forehead on him, like she wants their head to merge together. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She wants him to know, to understand that he’s different, that this is different, and it’s good. So good. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles is the one to push their lips together, aching from being so close, yet feeling so far. Their mouths open in unison, tongues sliding, dragging, tasting each other. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia’s hands gripping on his hair a little too hard, making him moan in pleasure. She started to rock her hips again, slow but with much pressure. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The hands that she thought will only stay in her waist, finally move. It was slow, too slow, but she can deal with it — he place it just above her knees, sliding up to her thighs until it’s buried under the fabric of her dress. His fingers teasing at the bands of her underwear but not really touching it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She whines in his mouth when he pulls his exploring hands away, then gasp in surprise when one of his hands groped her breast and the other is trying to find the zipper of her dress. The sudden boldness made her grind harder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>After a few seconds of trying to find the zipper of her dress, he groans in impatience — he couldn't seem to find it. Lydia felt his frustrations and decided to help him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She push him lightly, making him lean back and use his palms to support his weight — she wanted him to watch. Watch as she smirks at him, rubs his chest, giving him a quick chaste kiss before sitting back to pull down the side zipper of her dress, then pulls her dress up and taking it off in one swift movement, tossing the offending garment off the floor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The view in front of him almost made him choke, because Lydia is not wearing a ‘fucking’ bra. He didn’t even notice that when he’s groping her earlier — but she is goddamn beautiful. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wanted to touch her creamy white, perfectly round breast. The color of her nipples, god! It’s so pink even in the dim light, he just wants to put his mouth and suck on it till it stood like buttons. Yet, he couldn’t seem to move his body, much less his hands, so he just stares and adores her until he’ll finally able to move.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia loves the look he have on his face right now. He’s like witnessing some kind  of miracle — his eyes twinkling and are open wide, his mouth ajar, throat is bobbing every second, and his body still.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No on stared at her like this before. It’s not just lust, it’s a lot more than just lust and desires. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She let him adores her for a few seconds before diving back for his lips. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles seems to be much more eager and much more loose now, letting his hands explore her skin. His fingers grazing under the swell of her breast till he finally have the will to cup it fully with his large hands and fondles it. Lydia, not expecting him to pinch her nipples, made her groans in pleasure, whipping her head back.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Damnit! He’s not even doing that much yet, but I feel so arouse.’ She thought, biting her lips to swallow her moan when he suddenly put his mouth on her breast, sucking her nipples hard. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles wasn’t sure where the confidence came from, but when she slightly arched her back after he pinched her, he just have to put his mouth on her beautiful nipples. He suck hard and nip lightly and didn’t stop until he heard her loudly moan, he gave the same attention to her other breast feeling really high on her taste. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>’More.’ Her mind is screaming. She let him continue sucking her tits as she tugs on his flannel, then his shirt, and starts unbuckling his belt. ‘God why does this guy have tons of layers of clothing?!’ she didn’t realized she said the words outloud until the damn guy chuckles between her breast. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>His hands travelled from her breast to the her back then to the swell of her ass. His tongue maps on her skin, nipping and sucking around her collar bone, then to either side of her neck. Her skin is bruising, and the the sting brings her so much pleasure she couldn’t help but ached her back as he follows her movement. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She finally was able to remove his pants (not so easily, by the way. He just could take off his mouth of her skin even just for a second. She likes it.) palming him over his boxer. His groans of pleasure is just making her squeeze him much tighter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Another squeeze, and Stiles unconsciously slides his hands under her underwear and did a hard squeeze of his own on her butt. Stiles is sure some kind of powerful spirit just took over his body for having the strength of doing all of this, he’s not going to complain though — she looks like she’s enjoying it, and he loves it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Take it off.” Her soft voice told him, as she bites and licks on the shell of his ear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>’Ohh god! This is it. This is really happening!’ He thought with a hiss when Lydia squeeze him hard, and her hand moving inside his boxers. His cock is throbbing with his heart. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia lifted her hips just enough for him to slide her underwear off. His hands were shaking lightly with each movement. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Ohh. Is he —?’ The idea of Stiles being a virgin didn’t come to her mind before, she thought he was just being shy, being gentlemanly, and most importantly, being respectful. Though, even if he’s not a virgin, she think he’ll still be shy, getlemanly, and respectful. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When she’s fully naked, both arms around his shoulders and sitting on his warm lap, she stops for a second to look him in the eye. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She bring one of her hand to his cheek, palming it, and rubbing her thumb soothingly. “I like you, Stiles.” The guy in front of her just stared at her in awestruck. It’s fine, if he doesn’t say it back now... she can feel it and she knows. “I really, really, really... like you.” She kiss his both his eyes, his forehead, his nose, his cheeks — like how she did earlier. And before going back to his lips she lean their foreheads together, grazing their nose together, and added, “You have to believe that, okay?”. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He nodded not letting their forehead seperate yet. He wanted to say so much, but his throat and tongue wouldn’t let him, he just hopes he’s feelings transcend with his touch and kisses. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>They kiss again, and again, and again — and it feels so much like life. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles is not sure how it happened, but he was suddenly as naked as she is. And she’s lifting herself with her knees, aligning his aching dick on her very wet and hot core, he couldn’t help but panicked — it’s like, his father and his coach screams at him to use a fucking protection, “Umm... ahh — wait! Wait!” He holds her waist tight, not letting her drop herself to him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Damn.’ His control and focus is slipping off when Lydia continues to rub his cockhead to her labia. He really just wanted to give in, but they have to be safe. She have to be safe. </em>
</p><p><em>She seems to get his worry and stops what she’s doing, “Hey, hey... It’s okay. I’m on pill. I’m always on pill.” Cuz he’s previous boyfriends never bother to ever wear condoms. She had a scare once or twice before, luckily she never really got pregnant. She made sure to have check-up’s too every two months to be sure she’s clean. </em> <em>“I’m clean, and I want to feel you.” She told him again, because she really wants to feel him so bad. </em></p><p>
  <em>”Just for the record, I’m also clean. But... are you sure?” It’s sweet, that he wants to be safe for her sake. Not a lot of men are willing to do that, most just wants to get off quickly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She smiled at him and gave him a sweet kiss, whispering ‘yes’ on his ears as she starts to align him to hers again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a lot of kissing and nipping on both their skins, but there wasn’t enough foreplay below their waist. Lydia, though, is very wet, a lot more wet than her previous ‘experiences’. So it wasn’t so hard for her to slip him inside her and let gravity do it’s work. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Fuck.’ She heard him muttered and hissed beside her ears when his whole length is finally buried inside her. His hold on her waist will surely show big hand-print bruise the next day. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s a lot thicker than her previous too. He's not the longest, but is hitting the perfect spot, and she sure that if they move to a different position, he can dug deeper. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had to take a second, before she starts moving, loving how he feels inside her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles brain completely malfunctions when she starts to move on his lap, not being able to control his release.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Did you just —?” It was an immediate stop on both of them. She sounded like she’s about to laugh and he wanted to bury himself in embarrassment.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘God... she just started moving and you already come? You’re pathetic Stiles’ a voice in his head said. He really just wants to be buried six-feet below grave now. ”Ye...ah.” He stutters an answer to her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She laugh. Like full blown laugh, shoulders shaking, catching her breath, laugh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was so embarrassing. </em>
</p><p><em>He never thought that his first time would be like this, especially not to the girl he’s been pinning over for years. Okay, who is he kidding. Of course he thought he wouldn’t last long but that was like, only 2 seconds and he’s... ahh! </em> <em>He wanted to run away and hide but Lydia is still straddling him, and he’s actually still inside her. He didn’t want to push her away to make matters worst, so what he did is drop his back on the mattress, took a pillow and hide his face. </em></p><p>
  <em>She was still laughing, and she tries her hardest to stop but, it’s still slipping off. ”Sorry, sorry. I’m not laughing at you I promise! Just... what happened does call for a laugh.” She told him, bending over to take the pillow off of his face and let her look at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>”that’s not making me feel any better.” He muffled on the pillow, groaning unhappily. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Well, I can feel that you’re still hard.” She said, and to prove her point, she started bouncing on him. </em>
</p><p><em>‘Ahh, fuck!’ He’s not sure if he said that out loud, he doesn’t exactly care. </em> <em>His hands are gripping on the pillow over his face, like, his trying to suffocate himself.</em></p><p>
  <em>Lydia wanted to see his face, so she yank the pillow away, throwing it on the other side of the room. His trying to grip on something else but her, and his eye is tightly shut close. ‘Goddamnit, she wanted to see those eyes! And his hands on her skin —‘ she continue bouncing on him, harder each second. It seems like he trying his hardest now not to come quickly and embarrass himself again. She thinks that the reason why he’s keeping his hands off her, is because he’ll lost control if he did, but that is what she wants... for him to lose control and just enjoy, like how she is enjoying the moment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She finally had have enough and took his hand to place it on her breast, “Goddamnit Stiles! If you don’t start touching me, I swear to god, you won’t be able to touch me ever again!” It was an empty threat, but it did the job. He started to squeeze her breast again, pushing her down to him so that he can map and nip his tongue on her skin, and play with her nipples. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their breaths heaving, and the smell of the room changes... it’s intoxicating. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s still concentrating too much in not getting off, and it’s not sitting well with Lydia. “I don’t care Stiles... just let go okay? You can let go.” She told him in between kisses and forehead leaning on each other. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He took a heavy breath, kiss her wet and deeply, and finally let go of his concentration. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sliding his hand down her ass, he made her still, wanting to do the pounding himself. It was sloppy at first, almost slipping off her and their position is not helping him, but after a couple of trust he found his rhythm — it was not perfect but, with a feeling this good... doesn’t really matter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia’s also enjoying this, how he’s moving on instinct now and not because he’s afraid he’ll embarrass himself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The slaps of their skin is filthy, it sounds so wet because of his previous release. And he didn’t notice it before, but, Lydia’s been mixing his name with her moans and gasp — it sounds so heavenly, he just listens and lower his moans to heard her more. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He never though he’ll be this quiet in sex. He does speak to much when he talks, and he always talks. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe this is just because he’s doing it with Lydia, and he wants to savor the moment... he wants to cherish and remember every little detail of this, without the interruption of his blabbering mouth.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Stiles... clo-close. Don’t ahh! Don’t st-stop.” She stutters and beg in his ears, and who is he not to oblige? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She bites his shoulder hard, keeping her scream on her throat as she shakes from her orgasm. The hissing pain of his shoulder and her squeezing cunt, drove him to edge, letting out his own release. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was heavy panting and a few chuckles coming out of both of them as they basked on their afterglow. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So they just did that... and it was so perfect. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia slump heavily over him, as she gives peppery-kisses on his face and shoulders, while Stiles rubs his hand up and down her bare back, feeling really blissful. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She found the slightly-bloody bruise she made from biting him and run her fingers there, mindlessly putting pressure </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Stop. You’re making me all horny again.” He scolds her weakly, pushing her fingers away his shoulder and holding it in between his own. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Really?” She sounds so excited, lifting her head up to look at his face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The goddamn woman doesn’t seem to know the word ‘rest’, and she doesn’t look anywhere near tired anymore, like it just wash-off. She’ll surely be the death of him... not like he’s going to complain if this is how he’s going to die. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How long do you think before you can get it up and hard again?” She asked it so naturally, that it sends fire straight in his groin. “Ohh... I guess not that long, huh.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Oh fuck.’ He hasn’t pull out yet again, actually. And when she sat up his lap again, he moans and groans a little to loud, making her chuckle. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She leans down, just enough so she can whisper in his ear. “A different position this time.” Then she got off him, only to position herself on the bed facing it’s headboard, hands gripping on it, while she kneels and put her hips on the air seeming to invite him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He can perfectly see his cum slipping out of her and running down her perfect thigh. ‘Ohh good lord, have mercy on me.’ He prayed for himself, as he crawls to her, kneeling close, lining himself and starts to thrusts inside her again. </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>‘<em>Jesus fucking christ!’ </em>He muttered to himself.</p><p>Cursing over and over again to the fact that it’s the same dream... again. Well, it was his reality three nights ago, and it’s supposed to give him giddy and happy feeling but... Lydia hasn’t talk to him after he drive her back home that morning.  </p><p>She hasn’t been in school the same too. </p><p>He’s worried. So worried. </p><p>He’s been messaging her and calling her nonstop, but she never answers. He tried to go to her house but it’s always empty.</p><p>He doesn’t know where she is, and what’s happening to her. He’s almost losing his mind. He bother-line wants to ask his father to search for Lydia — he can’t though. He did promised his dad that this will not end badly. </p><p>
  <em>This is not how this is ending. No.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m sorry about the end part.<br/>Let’s talk, you can contact me at princesstrugillo@gmail.com -might be fun 😬</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is the fourth day Lydia’s been missing or just gone, and the only response he had from all the text and voicemails he left, he even emailing her, but still, no response.</p><p>Until this morning.  </p><p>
  <em>‘Sorry. I couldn’t reply to any of your messages, mom took my phone and never allowed me to use it, I don’t even have my computer here too. She’s keeping an eye on me and not letting me use any gadgets  — I feel like I’m on lockdown.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I stole my phone back. Though, I’m sure once she found that it’s missing from it’s hiding place she’ll know I took it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry that I can only send you a text message.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry too that I was not able to tell you that mom dragged me to visit a relative in the middle of nowhere. We’ll be staying here for another two days and I don’t think I’ll be able to contact you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ll contact you again as soon as I get back. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you.’</em>
</p><p>That text was send to him early this morning. </p><p>He doesn’t know why, but, in the deep corner of his mind he don’t fully believe in her explanation. </p><p>Maybe because, he knows that she’s a genius and it’s impossible for her not to get her hands on a phone or plan something else to contact him if she really wants to. </p><p>‘<em>God, I’m mess up.’ </em>He reprimands himself. He couldn’t be thinking like this about Lydia. If that’s what she said is happening, then, <em>it</em> <em>is</em> what's happening. </p><p>‘<em>She’s not hiding from me, or anything, she’s just caught in family matters’ </em>he told himself repeatedly, and in time he made himself believe it. </p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It’s the weekend again and he’s trying to find something to do. </p><p>Sitting at the kitchen table, concentrating on his computer, going through pages and pages of wikipedia articles about galaxies and what not.</p><p>He could have been hanging out with Scott but the guys been telling him ‘<em>I</em> <em>told</em> <em>you</em> <em>so</em>’ when he notice Lydia absence, and how miserable Stiles is looking the last couple of days. It’s annoying him.</p><p>He told and showed Scott, Lydia’s message and that she’s just on a family vacation and can’t actually contact him, but the damn guy just won’t believe him or Lydia’s explanation for that matter — he said that, ‘even you don’t believe it, so why should I?’ like a fucking mind reader. </p><p>It’s been three-day since she got her message.</p><p>She’s supposed to be home now, but she isn’t. </p><p>He would wait though. Still holding on that tini-tiny hope that what happened to them not just his imagination — that, that connection they made was real.</p><p>She did told him that she like hims, and promised to believe her.</p><p>Unless she says differently, he’ll keep waiting.</p><p>He might even wait forever for her. </p><p>“Homework?” His Dad asked, going to the kitchen and looking for something at the fridge. </p><p>He took a quick look at him and nodded, even though he’s acutally not doing any homework. He focused back to what he was reading and tried to ignored his Dad.</p><p>”I haven’t seen Lydia lately.” His Dad said, catching him off guard, he almost slides off the stool his sitting. “Did you two fight?” His father’s looking at him suspiciously.</p><p>”No. no.” He answered, hissing when sounded too defensively. “Just, she’s — her parents took her on vacation.” </p><p>There must have been something on his expression that his made his Dad quirk his eyebrows, “Okay... then why —“</p><p>He didn’t finished, the door bell was suddenly ringing getting both of their attention. So before Noah could move to get the door, Stiles already jumping off his seat, and running to get the door. “I’ll get it.” He said.</p><p> </p><p>He opens the door to a person who had it’s back facing the door. The first thing Stiles recognized when he opens the door is the vibrant strawberry-blond hair over the marine-blue coat. Her beautiful hair that falls perfectly down her back. </p><p>He would recognized that hair and that back from a mile away, but he had to be sure. “Lydia —?”</p><p>She quickly turn to him, holding her coat open for him to see what’s underneath ”Surprise!” She said, smiling proudly and excitedly. </p><p>Red. Deep red.</p><p>That’s what he first saw, and then his eyes go wild when he realized, he’s looking at her underwear. The damn woman shows up wearing only a very sexy deep-red lingerie over her coat. ”Oh my —“ </p><p>”Who’s on the door?” He turn his head to his Dad so quick, he believed he just got whiplashed, then back to Lydia remembering her state of undress. He feels like he’s going to have a heart attack, thinking on how to explain to his Dad why Lydia’s — she already got her coat wrap around her body, no one would even think that she’s only wearing her underwear inside. “Ohh, Lydia. What a surprise. We were actaully just talking about how I haven’t seen you lately.”</p><p>”Surprise indeed.” Stiles muttered, relief no one heard him. Or even if they did, just ignored him. </p><p>Lydia was smiling widely at Noah, innocence is painted all over her face, “I’ve been on vacation with my parents that’s why I haven’t been over lately.”</p><p>”That’s what Stiles have told me. Well it’s good you’re spending quality time with your parent.”</p><p>She smiles sweetly, not giving comment to what the sheriff just said and also not offering anymore information about her vacation. </p><p>It was a second of silence, till Noah tap his foot on the ground to break the silence, and move pass Lydia, turning back to the two teens. ”Well, I’m off the station. Be safe kids.” He said, and he runs to his cruiser. </p><p>”Bye Dad.” Stiles waves his goodbye and didn’t turn to Lydia until the cruiser if off his sight. </p><p>”Come on.” She said with a playful smile of her lips, holding Stiles arms tightly and dragging him up the stairs to his room, he almost didn’t able to closed the front door and lock it.</p><p>”Wait, Lydia —“ He let’s him drag her, but a little reluctant on just following her. </p><p>She looks around the room, like she’s surveying every corner to finalize her plans.</p><p>Stiles just look at her curiously, and when she’s done with whatever she was doing, she turn back to him wearing that playful smile again and asked, ”Have you ever had sex inside your closet?” Already pushing him back slowly to his closet. </p><p>”No?” He’s not sure why it came out as a question. His face is still crinkled in confusion even thiugh he knows what Lydia is going on about. </p><p>”Well then, now you’ll have.” She told him as a matter of fact, after he hit his back on his closets door. Stiles swallows his breath nervous at the moment.</p><p>Lydia started to unbutton her coat, revealing her red lingerie again. As she let it slides her shoulders, Stiles holds it in place ”Wait. Wa— Lydia.” He wants to talk to her. <em>He wants to talk to her, </em>and He won't be able to do that if Lydia’s standing in front of him only wearing lingerie. </p><p>”What?” She pouted, and he wanted to kiss her so much. He missed her so much, but he have to control himself.  “You don’t like my surprised? I picked this color especially for you.” <em>The goddamned woman bites her lower lips and holds her coat open, daring him to take a look.</em></p><p>He closes his eyes and breathe in deeply. </p><p>”You’re making this a little too hard for me Lydia.” He muttered, not sure if she her him.  </p><p>“You don’t want me anymore?” There’s a heartbreak in her voice that made him open his eyes immediately and pulling her to his arms, and place her head to his shoulder, caressing the back her hair soothingly.</p><p>Five seconds later he push her softly to lean back a little just so he can look at her face and her ehes. “Who says anything about not wanting you?” He begins, smiling and putting his palm on her face. He smiled more widely when she leans in to his touch. “I want you now... I want you before, and I know — no, I’m sure... I’ll want you forever, just —“ he paused, because the twinkle in her eyes and the curling smile she have on her lips is making him speechless. “you’ve been gone for a week, and I love to do you —“</p><p>”Do me?” She teases playfully. </p><p>He almost chokes on his own spit. “Lydia, Lyds. I —“</p><p>”I love it when you call me that.” She cuts him off again. </p><p>Lydia’s does not exactly remembers when he started calling her in that nickname he made, but she’s remember few moments when he called her that. And she loves it. </p><p>“Lyds.” He tried again, couldn’t help but smiles at the giddiness he’s feeling when she said the word ‘love’. </p><p>“Yeah?” She’s looking straight his eyes, smiling, and feeling excited. </p><p>”Having sex is not the only thing I want to do with you... I want to talk, I want to know what happened to your week. Did you have fun? Did you do something amazing? Did you missed me like I missed you?” He feels his face burning on his last question, his sure he’s looks red as a tomato now. “And then after that we’ll have sex as much as you want to, and I don’t care if my dick will be useless after.” </p><p>She burst in to a fit of laugh. It sounded heavenly. ”Well we don’t want that.”</p><p>”We don’t.” He agreed, chuckling at his own joke. “So can’t we sit down for now and talk about your eventful week?” </p><p>She maade a lot of thinking about it for a second before nodding enthusiastically at him. It made him chuckle. </p><p>He reach down to button her coat close and pulls her to sit on the bed. </p><p>She sag her shoulders and sighs, before starting, “My week may have been eventful, but I hated every second of it. I made it my mission to just stay in my room and pretends I’m asleep the whole week, and yes, I missed you so, so much. So I really, really want to have sex now.” </p><p>That’s it.</p><p>That’s all she have told him. And then she quickly took her coat off, not letting him make any protest or ask questions.</p><p>She quickly stand in front of him, showing her full body to him. Without the coat, the color of her skin is shining in contrast to her red lingerie. Stiles mouths hung open, and watering.</p><p><em>Well... I tried. </em>He thought to himself, and let her drag him to his closet.</p><p>There was a lot of heads bumping, painful smacking of limbs, accidental punches on their muscles due to the small dark spaces of his closet. </p><p>Anyway, they still enjoyed it, and after getting their first orgasm and still wanting to do more, they decided to just continue on his bed or on the floor. They just wants to see each others body.</p><p>
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Lydia’s back?” Scott asked, not even greeting him first as he opens his locker. Scott’s face is crinkle in disgust, he must have saw them kissing before Lydia have to walk away needing to go to the bathroom.</p><p>
  <em>Ahh, they actually haven’t talk about that kind of PDA in school.  </em>
</p><p>He’s not sure when it happened (most probably that crazy but amazing weekend), he’s suddenly used to kissing her now without even thinking about it. It’s like a muscle memory now, he doesn't even care about the judging eyes staring at them at all. </p><p>“Unless you’re not seeing the same as I. Yes, Lydia’s back.” He answered him, sarcasm oozing in hisctone. </p><p>Scott look at him, annoyed at his sarcasm. ”And you’re back to being a fool in love?” He notices it was not a decent comeback, and looks at his bestfriend apologetically. “Sorry.” </p><p>Stiles’s sighs, close his locker and turn his body to Scott. “I know you’re just looking out for me Scott, and I love you for that, but —“ he paused. He paused because, Scott’s word may hurt, but he’s right, and he’s trying to think of a reason why he should not worry too much.</p><p>“But?” He asked, waiting for him to continue.</p><p>“Trust me that I can handle my heart? I mean, I can see it. She’s hiding something, she’s keeping me from knowing something... but I’m not going to force it out of her. I think she’s scared Scott.” He answered truthfully, finally told him what’s going on in his head the past couple of weeks. </p><p>“Okay.” He relaxes his shoulders, patting his bestfriend’s arm. “Alright. If that’s really what you want.” </p><p>He turn away from Scott, walking to the direction of his homeroom while Scott follows, and then he muttered. ”Also, the sex is really good. So I don’t think being patient will be bad.” </p><p>Scott halt, almost tripping on a flat surface which is very unlikely on him. Stiles laughs and continue walking not waiting for his bestfriend. ”Hey! Stilinski, if you think you’re going to get away from this, you’re wrong!” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The loud creaking noisy sound of his bed is straying his mind off on concentrating on the beautiful woman in front of him. </p>
<p>Maybe he should start saving up to buy a new bed and mattress, the springs on the bed seem to be poking on his back too anyway.</p>
<p>The words and noise that coming out of Lydia’s mouth brought him back to the reality. </p>
<p>Her bouncing perfect breast inviting him to touch, caress, and to suckle. </p>
<p>“You are such a boob guy.” She teases, as she holds his heads to push him more the to her chest, chuckling and moaning in between breath, bouncing harder and faster, aching for release already. </p>
<p>”I’m a Lydia Martin guy.” He told her, because he may like giving extra attention in kissing, touching, nipping, and sucking her nipples and the skin around her perfect breast, but he does not neglect other parts of her perfect body. He loves her everything.</p>
<p>He push-up his hips hard inside her the same time she push down, making her breathe hitch. Her inside is pulsing, sucking, and cleching around his cock, he knows she’s only a few seconds away from coming hard. He meet her in every thrust and five seconds later, Lydia’s shaking from her second orgasm (first one was from Stiles perfect long fingers which made both of them so surprised from the unexpected talents he have with it. He claims he never don’t it before, just saw it on porn.)</p>
<p>He moves her hips in slow thrust till she calms down from her orgasm. She slumps in his chest, finally catching her breath and then props both elbows on the bed as she leans her chin on his chest so she can look at his face. Her face is wrinkled in question, then says, “Huh... you’ve build tolerance.”</p>
<p>Stiles just then realize the he didn’t come. And he always comes.</p>
<p>He’s not sure if it’s really from tolerance or because there are things running on his mind while they are at it.</p>
<p>It’s not the noisy mattress that’s continues to occupy his mind, by the way. </p>
<p>It’s how often he and Lydia have sex since they started it about a month ago. <em>Well</em>, he’s not complaining really, just... he couldn’t get off his mind that there is something they need to talk about. </p>
<p>Lydia’s been great. Really... really great.</p>
<p>She always smiles at him, and laughs at every joke he says no matter how lame it is. She shows so much affection without getting even a little bit embarrassed or shy about it, and they look like the sweetest-tooth-rotting couple at school that doesn’t care about everyones watchful eyes. Everyone began to get used to it now, even Scott. They never really talk about their displays, they just move naturally with what they want and what they feel.</p>
<p>It supposed to feel perfect, but, at the deep corner of his mind... there this nagging feeling — that it kind of feels like rehearse? Like, she knows that this is how he hopes everything to be, that’s why she’s like this.</p>
<p>Now don’t get him wrong, it not that he feels she’s not being genuine, or that she playing with him. He believes her when she told him that she likes him, but it like... she’s so afraid that if she made even the smallest mistake he’ll leave her. She showers him with touches and affections, and she can talk about everything to him but not her nightmares — it’s confusing the hell out of him, and the longer they do this the less control he have over his emotions, and he still doesn’t want to force her to talk if she doesn’t want to. </p>
<p>“Hey is something wrong?” Worry sketch on her face. </p>
<p>He quickly and gently dismiss her worry. ”No. Of course not. Nothings wrong, why would you think that?”</p>
<p>”I just... you’re quiet. And you didn’t come. You alway come when I come, so that’s either, you build tolerance or you’re not into it as much as you are before.” There was a hint of sadness in her voice. </p>
<p>”Hey, hey...” he took both of her face on her palm, running his thumbs soothingly and kissing her softly. “I’m into you as much as I’m before. Might even be more if we are being honest.” He actually wanted to say the ‘L’ word but doesn’t want to scare her so, he settles with that for the mean time. “And maybe I have some few more ideas in mind that I’ll like to try that’s why I didn’t come?”</p>
<p>”Yeah?” She finally light up, giving a chaste kiss. “Can I hear one idea?”</p>
<p>He immediately blush, not sure how to voice out the idea he have in mind. ”Can I, maybe... I just, I haven’t try it yet before — or ever. And I’m not sure I’ll be good at it but —“</p>
<p>Lydia hit his chest playfully, biting her lips in excitement. ”Just spit it out.”</p>
<p>”Can I... can I try eating you out?” He said it as fast as be can, the words sounded like it just one word and not a sentence. </p>
<p>”Ohh...” she didn’t expect that, and she got more excited. The guys has many hidden talents in bed she’s already sure he’ll do great. “Well I hope you don’t mean that literally, cause yes I would love for you to try to eat me.” She tease a little. </p>
<p>“Just for, again, a disclaimer, I haven’t done it before so I’m not sure if I’ll be good.” He told her as he suddenly flips them, kissing on her neck, going down to her breast, and to she stomach. </p>
<p>She’s biting her lips hard in anticipation she feels it bruicing. She use her elbows to support her weight, wanting to watch, as Stiles lower his face to her wet cunt. ”You’ll know if you’re doing a good job.” She said last before Stiles dives in and made her scream his name. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The loud tapping sound of the hard rain outside, strangely becomes his lullaby to sleep. </p>
<p>It’s a school night and his body is so sore from lacrosse practice. Coach is half demon, that he’s so sure of. He doesn’t even play on game night, hasn’t got out of bench since freshman year, but Coach is strict about running suicides no matter what positions you play on the team... he’s even more brutal if you don’t finish his suicide runs in his constricted time. And Stiles, always don’t finish on time. It’s also extra hard on him because of Jackson — that asshole still has it’s claws on him even though it’s been over a month, his only saving grace is McCall, and the fact that his strawberry blond goddess is waiting for him to finish practice at the library. </p>
<p>Lydia didn’t stay over for the night. It’s one of those rare nights where her parents are at home, and even though she looks like she’d rather be somewhere else or anywhere else other than her house, she reluctantly asked to be drove home. </p>
<p>Exhaustion let him sleep a little early than the usual time he sleeps (he was able to sleep midnight, he usually sleeps at two in the morning. Though, his sleeping habits is a little all over the place when Lydia stays over.) these are also one of he’s rare sleep where he so deep in it, he’s sure he won’t be waking up even with the loudness of his alarm on the morning — that’s what he thought, but the loud banging on the front door that is mixing with the thunders slowly got him awake. </p>
<p>He looks at the clock on his nightstand and it’s freaking three in the morning. <em>Who the hell knocks on someone’s door in three in the morning? </em> </p>
<p>The loud banging on door continue, and he would think it’s a murderer but, what kind of murderer would knock on his victims door?</p>
<p>He still got his bat on hand just to be safe and slowly got down the stairs. </p>
<p>He didn’t open the door immediately even when the noise is annoying him. <em>Does this really have to happened on the rare nights his body is allowing him to have a goodnight sleep? </em></p>
<p>He peers on the window, trying to get a view on the damn person knocking on the door at this time of the night. He didn’t recognized her for a second. She’s drench from the pouring rain, her long wet hair is sticking all over her body and face, she’s so pale she can be compare to a ghost.</p>
<p>She continue banging on that door. </p>
<p>It took him two second to finally realize who the person was, “Lydia?” Stiles lets go of the bat and opens the door quickly. He then notices that she’s only wearing an oversized shirt that’s sticking to her skin from being so soak, and there’s nothing under the shirt but a boyshort kind of panty, she’s also not wearing a shoes.</p>
<p>He immediately put his careful hands on her, studying her for any injury, “Oh my —Lydia are you alright? Wha-what...” Her eyes are blank and she was shaking and trembling so badly, her feet is bleeding from little cuts she has. <em>Did she walk barefoot in the pouring rain from her house to here?</em> </p>
<p>His mind running a mile per second. <em>Did Jackson tried to attack her again? But that couldn’t be, right? Her parents are at home... at least, that’s what she said.</em></p>
<p>”Cold.” She muttered on her shivering, blue lips and clanking teeth. Her voice is barely a whisper he almost didn’t hear her.</p>
<p>He softly but quickly pull her inside the house, closing the door and trying to keep Lydia steady at the same time. ”Stay here okay? I’ll get you some towels —“ he was already moving but Lydia stops him by putting both her hands over his shirt, pulling him back close. </p>
<p>”Don’t leave me.” Another whisper. Closing her hand into a fist as she pulls the fabric of his shirt. </p>
<p>She sounded scared, and the shaking of her whole body is making Stiles feels so terrified for her. </p>
<p>He holds her icy-hands, trying to give her warmth even just a little, ”I’m not leavingn you. I’ll just be upstairs, I need to get towels for you. You need it, you’re so drench from the rain.” He tried to make her look at his eyes to assure her, but her eyes is lock on her hands that is clutching hard on his shirt, her knuckles turning white. “I’ll be quick, I promised.” He kiss the top of her head, softly unclenching her fingers off his shirt, before dashing upstairs to get towels for her. </p>
<p>He got back as fast as he can, thankful that he didn’t slip on the stairs going down and broke his neck. </p>
<p>Lydia is still standing frozen from where he left her. He quickly wrap her body in a big towel, asking her to hold on it so it won’t slides off her shoulders, and then use the smaller towel to wipe her face. </p>
<p>Her skin, and her body is as freezing as she looks. “I need to get you warm. Can you walk?” </p>
<p>She didn’t answer.</p>
<p>She didn’t even nod. </p>
<p>She just stands there, shaking. It’s like she’s not there anymore.</p>
<p>He didn’t wait for an answer another second, he put his hand on her shoulder and the other, under her knees, and slowly lifts her up, careful not to scare her. </p>
<p>She snuggles her head on his chest giving him relief, feeling her presence there again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>7 days till my birthday! HAHAHA<br/>It’s going to be a celebration on my bed, crying with Ao3.<br/>My friend Stressy and Depressy will join me too, I guess. </p>
<p>Want to talk? You can contact me at princesstrugillo@gmail.com</p>
<p>Camille xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a short chapter I think...<br/>HEY! TOMORROW’S MY BIRTHDAY 😚 and I’m all alone... and starving... and going crazy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He manage to carry her to the upstairs bathroom without injuring anyone of them. </p><p>Carefully, Stiles deposited Lydia and seated her at the counter near the sink, then when to the tub to start the water and fill it, dipping his hand on the water every now and then to feel it’s temperature. </p><p>When it feels that the waters warmth is good enough, he went back to Lydia who stayed still and quiet the whole time. She is still shivering and her eyes are in daze. He touch both of her shoulders and nudge her softly, telling her to get off of her wet clothes and get warm on the tub — she didn’t respond. She just stared at nothing. </p><p>He new that she shouldn’t stay in her wet clothes any longer, so he did the work for her. He slide her carefully down the counter, kept her steady, and carefully took the offending garments off of her.</p><p><em>Careful</em>. <em>Careful</em>. That’s the only word repeating in his brain like a broken record right now. </p><p>She shivers more and saw how her skin covered in goosebumps when she’s completely naked, devote with her soaking clothes. Something inside Stiles body feels stinging in pain... she looks so fragile, so small than her actual height, so vulnerable, so scared. This is much worst than that day she’s went to him for help while bleeding all over — because, <em>this</em>... <em>right</em> <em>now</em>... she doesn’t respond to him <em>at</em> <em>all</em>. </p><p>And it’s scaring him. He’s scared. </p><p>Not at her, but <em>for</em> <em>her</em>. </p><p>He needs to know what’s going on, why this is happening... he wants to understand and truly be able to help her. But before he gets on that, he have to help her get warm. </p><p>So, he made her lean her weight on him and almost carried her inside the tub. </p><p>Lydia’s body flinch the moment her skin touch the warm water, and after a few seconds she let him sat her down in the middle tub, her knees almost press against her chest, the same level the warm water is. She was still shaking, hugging her body tightly and closing her eyes like she’s trying to concentrate in absorbing the warmth of the water. After a minute or two, when her shaking body still hasn’t stop, Stiles decided to get on the tub with her. </p><p>He strips off all his clothes and carefully step inside the tub, and when he’s finally seated, leaning at the left side of the tub, he softly and carefully pull Lydia to his arms. Almost caging her with both arms, he soothingly rub his hands up and down her shoulders, pressing her more to his chest for her body to get more warmth, as he kiss her temple every now and then. A few minutes later she finally stops trembling, her head resting at the curve of his neck. </p><p>The steady sound of her breathing makes him think that she had fallen asleep. Stiles peek at her face and was glad to see that her lips started to return to it’s natural colors, her cheeks has a bit blush, and she’s finally warm. He still continue what he was doing for a couple more minutes, till he thinks she warm enough and should get off the water. </p><p>The second he moved to get up, Lydia held on him tighter, not letting him put distance between their body. “Lydia...” he called hoping she’ll finally look at him, but when she didn’t, he cups her cheek to steal a quick kiss. Her low sigh after the kiss felt like a reward to him, that’s the first real response he got from her. “I need to get you off the tub.” He told her. Her eyes still close, but she nodded and let him untangle himself from her. </p><p>He took a towel for himself, quickly drying himself and wrapping it over his hips, then took another towel for Lydia. </p><p>He grabs her by her armpits to make her stand up and steady her, then carefully wrap the towel on her body. He didn’t ask her anymore if she could walk, he just place her hand over his shoulder, and place his hand under her knees to lift and carry her to his room. </p><p>It felt like he’s tending to a child, worst an infant who couldn’t talk and walk on her own. He doesn’t mind really, but he is so worried. </p><p>He deposited and seated her to his bed -and again- when he put distance between them just so he can get clothes for them to wear, she held on him and told him not to leave her. He explains softly that he needs to get them clothes to wear, that he is not leaving... ever. </p><p>Lydia’s need of constant reminder that he won’t leave her is getting too much for Stiles, and this is not a complain — this is him getting overwhelm and scared of what is happening to her. It’s not normal. He really need to know what is happened to her. He wouldn’t just sit and wait for her anymore because she’s hurting physically and mentally, she has to tell him. </p><p>Stiles grab a pair of shirt, a pair of boxer, and a sweatpants. </p><p>He quickly change to his clothes and went back to Lydia who shivering again. <em>Damnit! I thought I already gotten her warm.</em></p><p>He helped her get dress, and dried her hair, and once finished he kneeled in front of her, cupping her face with both of his hand. “Lydia...” he rubs his thumbs to soothe her, still waiting for her to look him in the eye.</p><p>He leaned up to kiss her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose. He rubs their noses together before finally pressing his lips hard to her — he wish to convey his sincerity and trust with this kiss. </p><p>When he pulls away, tears were pouring her eyes — she looks so broken, but still beautiful. </p><p>It hurts his eyes, and Stiles started to cry too. </p><p>He’s frustrated and scared. He don’t know how he can help, “Lydia...” he called again, wiping her tear away. “Lyds. You got to talk to me. Please, talk to me —“ he pleaded, his voice already stuttering. “I don’t know how to help. Please... help me, help you. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”</p><p>Lydia finally look him in the eye, and <em>thank</em> <em>god</em> her eyes are not the blank one she had a hour ago. It already give his lung another air to breath — he couldn’t help himself but pull her in another kiss. </p><p>“Lyds, Lydia... talk to me? I’ll do whatever to make you feel better, okay? I can’t lose you. I’ll literally go out of my freaking mind if I lose you. You gotta talk to me baby, please?” He didn’t know how it got down into this. Him kneeling and practically begging to her — <em>the</em> <em>hell</em>.  Who is he kidding? He knew deep down that it’ll come down to this oneway or another, him begging to her... he wants to get through her so bad that he’s begging without filter. </p><p>Lydia didn’t answer him, but place both her hand to his face, mimicking how he’s holding her and how he wipes her tears away.</p><p>She kisses him hard, it felt like it’ll bruise. Then she bury her face to crook of his neck, inhaling his scent as she nodded her head to tell him that she’s ready to talk. </p><p>His knees are hurting from kneeling, but it doesn’t matter. He  kiss her hair and hugs her as tightly as he can, and waits for her to get the words out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you think ☺️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter is written in Lydia’s point of view.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***</p><p>My writing for each scene is a bit vague but, just so we have a disclosure — This chapter contains underage drinking, drug usage, manipulation, mentions of rape and abuse.</p><p>Also mentions of mental problems, suicides, and death. Please read at your own risk.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I first had a taste of alcohol when I was thirteen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was the day my grandmother died, but I didn’t know about it yet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My mom, she got a call and left suddenly without saying anything to me. She just left. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She also left her glass full of wine. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She just poured it like she always does when she gets home from work, but because of that phone call, she left it at the kitchen table.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My dad’s absent like he always is, and I’m a curious child — I always wonder what that wine taste like, what’s so good and so addicting about it, and why’s mother always have to have at least a glass of it everyday.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know I’m smart, but, I just couldn’t get the answers to my questions.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So I picked up the glass of wine and took a sip on it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was bitter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But it’s also sweet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The taste didn’t sit well with my tongue, yet... I was able to finished it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mother didn’t even found out it was me who drank it and finished it. She didn’t question the why the glass full of wine she left is already empty. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The next time I tasted that bitter and sweet taste of alcohol, was at my grandmothers funeral.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bottles and bottles of wines are out on the kitchen for guests.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I stole one and hide it inside my room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No one notices, there are a plenty of bottles anyway.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That night... when my parents thought I was sleeping, I was drinking the wine straight from the bottle. This time, it tasted more sweet than bitter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="Apple-converted-space">Now I get why adults like the taste of alcohol. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="Apple-converted-space">The more you drink, the more it tasted sweet. And there’s this calming feeling you’ll feel inside... it’s like my grandmothers touch, how soothing it feel when she brush my long hair.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="Apple-converted-space">I’ve always love grandma more than my parents, and she loves me as much. Now, she’s gone — it’s okay... wine reminds me of her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>The death of my grandmother is the last straw in my parents marriage.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There are less and less arguments, there are only agreements, and with that, there’s also less and less of them at home. They’re already always gone, but after the discussion of seperation, they almost never come home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I would be left alone for days, sometimes weeks. They left me money though, a lot of money. They also buy me tons of present whenever they come home — their pathetic attempt to pose as good parents.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Them being absent made it easy for me to sneak at the wine cellar.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can you believe it? At the age thirteen, I’m starting to become an alcoholic. Still, no one noticed, mom and dad never notice the missing bottles of wine. Anyway, they keep the cellar full as they also brings bottles and bottles of it whenever they come home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then, my parents legal separation were finalized. It’s funny how they wouldn’t just go through with divorce already. I heard though, that it has something to do with money and properties. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Also, they can’t let go of that image they build — the perfect family. So we act like we’re still a family, even when we have not been a family for a long time ago — I kept my mouth closed all those time. It won’t change them anyway, they’ll just tell me that I wouldn’t understand, that I’m just a child.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The play pretend is exhausting, so I took comfort on the bottles of wine they never notice I take. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It makes me feel relax, it makes me forget things, it makes me full, even just for a moment.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>I started experimenting in taking pleasure in my body at the age fourteen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There’s this transfer student at my class, his name is Theo, and he took interest in me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was very handsome, and knows how to sweet talk everyone — he knows how to fool everyone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Theo told me about his parents, how they are as absent as mine, and convince me that people like us should stick together. He’s the first guy that I’ve kissed, and he’s also the first guy who took me to a club.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He have a cousin who owns a club and even though as young as us, his cousin allowed us to get inside and didn’t care if we get alcohol to drink and get drunk.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was loud.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A place where you won’t hear each other, so you got to feel with your body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even though I’m short, I don’t look fourteen — we both don’t look fourteen. So it was easy for us to get drinks after drinks, though, I have an inkling that Theo’s cousin had a word to the bartender.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The taste of tequila is new to me. I’ve only ever drink wine before, but the burning feeling it gives when the liquid slides in my throat... is something I found to like.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tequila also place it’s effect much faster than wine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The morning after, I found myself naked in bed with Theo without the memory of what happened the night before. I just felt an ache and pain around my whole body, and see bruise after bruises on my skin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="Apple-converted-space">There’s also a spot of blood on the bed cover. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘It was fun’ he told me when he wakes up. After that, I continue seeing him, I continue coming with him at the bar, and I continue waking up naked on his bed without real memory of what happened the night before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m not sure why I’m doing it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Every sane person will think I’m going crazy for letting it happened, but... maybe that’s why I’m doing it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There’s a certain charm and excitement in feeling crazy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Also, because I believed him... people like us should stick together. He never really forced me on anything, I think — and he don’t purposely hurt me anyway, so...  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Theo was the one who introduced me to drugs. It was a pill going around the club, and it was his cousin who’s selling it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Through the time Theo and I spent together, I realized how close he is to his cousin due to the absence of his parents. How he idolized him, how he wanted to be like him — so when he’s cousin started to sell drugs he took part in selling too, and when he makes good amount, his cousin would give him praises and treats.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Treats that includes couple of pills for him to enjoy, and share. He shares it with me, always.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was different from any alcohol I’ve tasted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The effects are entirely different too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I’ve love it. I crave it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So every chance I get to have a taste of it, I took it... and with the amount of money my sweet parents leave to me, I sometimes buy some when I feel that one pill a week is not enough. It’s addicting. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I managed to buy a bottle of pills before Theo’s cousin got arrested for letting minors in and selling drugs at his club.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With his cousin gone, Theo also went away. No matter what his protest is, his parent is dead set on to moving as far away as they can from this town, as far away from his cousin, and as far away from me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I always feels empty... and with him gone, I felt more emptier than ever. I mean, I don’t think I’ve loved him, just... it was good to with someone like me, someone who understands me, and not be alone.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>The summer before highschool, on my grandma’s birthday... I celebrated it with a bottle of vodka and six pieces of pills — the only pills left from the bottle I kept all those months I was alone again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was floating.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I was full.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I felt warm and I felt happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I closed my eyes to savor it, to basked in it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Till it’s gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Till every feeling I have is gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nothing hurts... nothing feels fake... and nothing feels exhausting.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>‘It was an accidental overdose.’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s what I told them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That, I didn’t intend to kill myself... that I didn’t have any thoughts of suicide.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was just... having... fun.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My parents were relief — not because I live, but because I didn’t die of ‘my-supposed-suicide’. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’ll bring shame to our perfect family.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They’re also relief that this happened on summer, cause that means they can cover it. They can keep the issue quiet, and they can send me to a psych-ward without rumors going around town — they can keep their image of a good and perfect parents.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="Apple-converted-space">As if people haven’t notice yet how fuck up their fifteen year old daugther is. How blind and deaf can they be?  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>The first week of my stay in my overpaid psych-ward was so lovely.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was so lovely that they had to put me on restraining-jacket for throwing a fit, throwing everything that I can everywhere, and injuring one of the nurses.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was fun.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>On my second week, they threatened me to behave if I wanted to interact with someone other than nurses and doctors. So I did what I was told.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even with my tendency to be violent, they never put me on calming drugs cause they deemed me as an addict, aside from being suicidal. What they put me on though, is something that will knock the shit off me to sleep, makes me so groggy that I can’t even used my brain, and makes me feel tired always.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After staying like a limp vegetable for a week, they finally lay off the drugs, and again, threatens me so nonchalantly that they will put me back on those without hesitation if I started to act up again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was very illuminating.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Third week and they finally allowed me out of the confines of my relaxing four-corners-room and let me interact with the other crazy patients like me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s where I met Allison.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s look so beautiful, have a blinding smile that can infect others to smile, and is so full of life that you won’t think for a second that she have problems and demons inside her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One thing I learn from my stay in this psych-ward is that, they put people with the same problems in the same floor. Allison is in the same floor as I am... so she’s either an alcoholic, an addict, or a suicidal patient. Anyway, I was able to confirmed which one she is on the latter part without asking her directly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Allison was about the same age as me, and she was easy to be with, so I stick close to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We don’t talk about our problems or why we’re in this place, we only talk about what our life supposed to be if we aren’t here in this prison.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She talks about her happy past, she mostly talks about her happy childhood.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She got great parents, a grandfather and an aunt that loves and adores her so much. They were never absent, they pay attention to her, they listen to her, and they give her the affection she needs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There’s not a hint of sufferings or misery in any of her story, and the way she tells it, it feels so real and not something she just made out of her imagination — make me wonder so much why she’s in this place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t tell her about my childhood, like I said we don’t talk about our problems, and she seems okay with it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We became friends, close friends, best friends. I think I can even consider her as my sister.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I started to laugh with her. Really laugh. Genuinely laugh. I don’t remember ever laughing like that before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then we started to plan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Plan what we are going to do together once we get out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The plans were so mundane, you’ll laugh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We planned to convince our parents to enroll us in the same high school. Plans about sleepovers in each others house, shopping together, studying together, talk about boys together, getting to prom together, finishing high school together, and maybe... be still together in college.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was a nice hope to have.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We continue planning, and opening our list of ‘what to do’s’ till we ran out of ideas.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3 months have gone and pass since my stay in the psych-ward. I didn’t even notice it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was then announce that Allison will be leaving in two days.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looks thrilled and happy that she’s finally getting out, though she told me she’s sad that she’ll be leaving me behind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That made me feel miserable too, but we already made a promise, a pack, and I know she won’t break it. So... I decided to be happy for her, and it felt amazing to be caring and thinking about somebody else’s happiness than yourself. She taught me that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We spend our last day together sticking on each others hip. We even convinced our nurses and doctors to let us stay in the same room for our last night together, they agreed because of the good behavior we presented on the rest of our stay.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Allison and I sleep in one bed, content without any worries in mind, and with big smiles on our faces.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was the happiest I’ve been.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I woke up in the morning, cold and alone. Allison’s already gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The only thing left for me is a note, with a single word... ‘Sorry.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It made me cry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I didn’t even know that she’ll be gone so early.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I should have not slept that night.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I had to remember our promises.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So I got up the bed, tried to put a smile on my face, and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I’ll have to keep my record clean so that I’ll be out of this place in no time, and then we can start to cross things on our list.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The moment I step in bathroom, my feet were covered in freezing water.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I froze looking at the flooding water on the floor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My ears were suddenly being penetrated with the harsh sound of running waters overflowing from the tub.</em>
</p><p><em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">‘Aren’t</span></em> <em>waters supposed to be clear? Why is it being painted in red?‘ my mind running a mile every second. </em></p><p>
  <em>My heart started to beat slowly and loudly, then fast like it wants to get out of my body. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was so afraid to turn my head and look, so, I kept my eyes on my feet being drown in red water. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My eyes started to water, and my brain started to pound painfully and heavily.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>I was allowed to go on her funeral.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And later I found that every story she told me was real.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She does have a loving parents, a loving grandfather, and a good aunt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I never knew or noticed her problems all those times we were together, not only because we don’t talk about it, but also because the medications she’s in keeps her thoughts and moods intact. Also, being in the confines wall of the psych-ward made her feel safe from the hallucinations and fears she gets from the outside world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">Her parents didn’t know where her illness came from.</span> </em>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">As far as her family knows, there was no one in their blood that has the same illness.</span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">She was loved and she was cared for deeply, and she’s outspoken and sweet — she doesn’t bottle her feelings inside till it overflows. She also laughs a lot... and she live her young life to fullest — until one day she range on one of her classmate without reason, hurting the person badly. She changed without warning. </span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">They first thought it was schizophrenia, but it was not.   </span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">Allison has a severe case of bipolar disorder with psychotic features. It mess her head up so much, she becomes suicidal. </span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was hopeful though, that one day she’ll be able to get out, so when the doctors said she’s ready to be outside, she believes it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That night... all her demons ate her mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly, the fear of being outside shakes her through her bones.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She can’t be outside.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So she permanently stayed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>’Hope is nothing but a word.’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>—They never figured out how she was able to get and hide that scalpel, slicing both her hand from her wrist, almost going to the back of her elbow. It was a long cut, they’re so buffled how she was able to do that, and she was long gone even before I found her— </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>After what happened, my parents got me out despite the doctors better judgements.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘She looks well’ they told them, like they are fit to tell whether I’m sane enough or not. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Money has a certain power on everything, so... I was let out quietly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then I was enrolled in high school.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cycle returns. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My parents are still always gone like didn’t have a daugther who ‘accidentally-overdosed’ and got commited for 4 months. </em>
</p><p><em>I get drunk, I take my favorite kind of pills, and then</em> <em>go for guys like Theo — the same kind of person that I am... like Jackson. Though, Theo and Jackson are similar and a lot diffirent at the same time. Either, I think I deserve him — his suffocating so-called-love, his piercing and painful words, and his cruelty. It’s much easier to handle anyways than a hope that things will be better... things can get better. </em></p><p>
  <em>Some days, Allison’s hopeful, bright, blinding, smiling face haunts me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hated it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">Hope is nothing but a word. </span> </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stiles was crying. </p><p>He was crying for her as he listen to her story.</p><p>He feels stupid — so stupid for not knowing any of this.</p><p>He have prided himself to know Lydia better than anyone else because of how he know the intelligence she have, that she’s never only beauty — but he was wrong... so wrong.</p><p>He don’t know her the same as everyone, he only sees what Lydia allows everyone to see... he only assume things.</p><p>Stiles held her body tightly all throughout. He kiss her temples every time she would stutter and have a hard time finding the words, or speaking.</p><p>Lydia is alcoholic and an addict.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Her drinking habits and drug intoxication didn’t came from Jackson — the truth is far from it. </span>
</p><p>She’s seventeen and she’s far from sober.</p><p>Lydia told him that there’s never a day she doesn’t swallow a pill to get her through the day.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Though he have had suspicions, and even with Lydia practically living at his house, he never saw her popping a pill on her system because she good at that — keeping secrets. She told him that it’s not his fault, that he will never really notice because, the pill never made her look and feel crazy as long as she only took one. </span>
</p><p>She needs to or she’ll go insane — she’s dependent on the pills. Her pills became her medication from all sorts of crazy in her life.</p><p>Though some days one pill is not enough, especially when she’s alone or feels alone — Like those days before they got together, or that day he went to her house and found her high, or that week she was gone, and tonight.</p><p>It was not a lie that both her parent are at home, they even had dinner together. But this dinner consist of her parents not acknowledging each others existence, which she’s already used to.</p><p>At the end of their dinner, her mom finally began what parents wants to discuss about, the real reason for this so called ‘family dinner’.</p><p>It’s about her parents divorce.</p><p>It’s has been finalized... and Lydia didn’t know about it until now.</p><p>It’s not shocking, she’s been waiting for it to happened even before their legal separation was done. What shock her is that, both her parents have somewhat build another life, another family with her not having even a little bit of knowledge on it.</p><p>Her father got his secretary pregnant, and he plans to marry her, like that would fix how fuck-up of a husband and parent he is.</p><p>Her mother, she’s seeing someone. Nevermind the details, but she told Lydia she’s planning a trip for her and her lover with an indefinitely time of the trip ending.</p><p>Both of them will never be home again.</p><p>They are making Lydia choose who she wants to come with.</p><p>The whole conversation made her want to throw up every little bit of food she ate, not just from this dinner, but all food she ate the whole day.</p><p>No one really said they want her.</p><p>So she made a choice.</p><p>She will not come with anyone of them.</p><p>She won’t put herself in a household that don’t want her.</p><p>She’s almost 18... she’s almost an adult.</p><p>Lydia point to her parents how she’s been taking care of herself all those years they are absent and even when they are at home, they’re really aren’t. So what’s the point in coming with them when they don’t really want her?</p><p>She told them not to sold the house till she graduate highschool and just leave her money like they always do.</p><p>She won’t ever bother them or their new family.</p><p>And that’s that. That’s how their conversation finished — with her leaving her parents at the dinner table, speechless from the truth. </p><p>Lydia got to her room in time for her to throw up.</p><p>At midnight, she finally got out of her room just so she can steal a bottle of wine from the cellar. She also found that her parents have already gone away, leaving her alone in the big house — they didn’t even let the night pass.</p><p>It made her laugh hysterically.</p><p>Her parents are just itching to leave her — to leave the life they thought was perfect and when they finally got tired of pretending they just...</p><p>Mixing her pill with alcohol were never good.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><hr/><p> </p><p>They lay quiet on his bed. </p><p>It’s almost six in the morning and he couldn’t really sleep, what with the truth Lydia trusted him to know. </p><p>Lydia’s head resting on top of his chest, quiet, and her even breathing makes him think that she’s asleep, but then she raise her head to look at him, reaching her hand to cup his face. </p><p>“Please don’t leave me.” She told him, her eyes watering again. It’s like, she just rested her eyes for an hour and she’s back to crying again, afraid that her ugly and disgusting truth scared Stiles away. </p><p>Stiles sat down, bringing her with him, and pressed his lips hard and heavy on hers. </p><p>He would never leave her — he’s very sure of that. </p><p>“I love you.” He told her as he release her lips and lean his forehead to her. </p><p>She breath outs deeply and then tenses, making him panic for a second. Fortunately, his brain work fast, and as he looks her in the eye he added, “You don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know that I love you — that, that your truth only made me love you more, no matter how ugly you think it is.” </p><p>Lydia’s hand travel down from his neck to his chest, fisting his shirt, as she tries to breath right. “I don’t deserve you.”</p><p>Her eyes didn’t stray his, and his glad of that. “No.” He disagrees, shaking his head. “And it doesn’t matter. You’re what I want and that will never change, just let me love you, okay? Just let me love you.” </p><p>She’s nodding her head to answer, her throat getting painful and constricted every second, and the tears falling off her eyes won’t stop. </p><p>Stiles didn’t attempt to tell her to stop crying, he just whisper words like, ‘it’s okay, we’re okay’, ‘I’m not gonna leave.’, and ‘I love you.’, till she got tired of crying and pass out. </p><p>As she sleeps on his chest, and as he listens to her breathing, Stiles tries to think and find ways to stop her pain, her misery, her loneliness and sadness, and to stop her from her addiction. </p><p>He has to, or he may lose her... and that’s what he’s mostly afraid of. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><hr/><p> </p><p>“You never hangout with Scott anymore.” She told him as a matter of fact, as they walk the hallways of their school. </p><p>They stop in front of Lydia’s locker, and continue their conversation as Lydia place the book she doesn’t need inside the locker. “I do hangout with Scott, we just had Lacrosse practice together.”</p><p>She close her locker shut and turn to fully face Stiles who’s leaning on locker next to hers. She sighs before saying. ”You know that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>It has been two weeks since that night, and Stiles kept his promised on never leaving her side — though he might have went a little overboard. </p><p>Lydia doesn’t might though, she likes his company, craves it even, but... she couldn’t shake the thought of letting Stiles lose friends and social life because of her. </p><p>He coax her to his arms, then tells her, ”What’s so wrong about spending my time with my beautiful —“ he paused kissing her forehead. “Intelligent —“ another paused to kiss her nose. “Sexy —“ he kiss her cheek. “Hot” kissed her chin. “Girlfriend.” He paused again, but didn’t place a kiss anywhere and just hold her close, getting an unimpressed look from Lydia. “What’s so wrong about that?” He repeated. </p><p>“You miss a spot.” She quickly kiss his lips, then push him off softly making Stiles whine in protest. “There’s nothing wrong with that, but you never let me off your sight after that night.” She said the last part in a whisper, and it prick his heart a little remember <em>that</em> night. “Look, I get it. It’s scary... terrifying even. But you can’t just revolve your life around me, that will be so selfish of me.” She let him pull her to his arms again. “I’ll be fine.” She assured him cupping his face and drawing soothing circle with her thumb on his cheek. “If you want, I would drive to sheriff stations, eat healthy dinner with your father and bond with him, just so you’ll be at peace.” That’s the only safe suggestion she could think of to ease him, besides, she’s getting on really good terms with the sheriff, he doesn’t even ask her anymore why she’s never at her home and ask about her parents. She thinks Stiles have something to do about it. </p><p>He still looks skeptical. He doesn’t really trust to let her off his sight. “How about... we both hangout with Scott? Then he can ask Kira to join too, and it’ll be a double date. Besides, Kira’s been pestering me about a double date anyway.” </p><p>He’s looking at her with pleading eyes and she couldn’t help but give in, “Fine.” </p><p>“Yeah?” The smile on his face is so wide, he looks like he just won the lottery.  </p><p>”Yes.” She reiterate, sighing in defeat. “But please, next time, have an ‘only guys’ hangout with Scott. I don’t fancy him thinking I’ve stolen you and him hating me.” She still remember that time Scott sneered at her when she just asked where Stiles is, who’s apparently got send to the nurse office because Jackson punch and kick him. </p><p>“He would never —“ he made a shock and offended face, and she knows his playing.  </p><p>”Shut up.” They both giggle as Lydia pull him down for a kiss, not caring about the people passing by the hallway looking at them. </p><p>Tonight will be fun, they hope. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They drove to the same diner where Stiles officially introduced Lydia to Scott and Kira. They met up there to get lunch, and plans to go to the Cinema next to watch an afternoon movie, then go somewhere else to spend the rest of the Saturday evening having fun. </p><p>When Stiles presented the double date idea to Scott, he was happy. Happy that his bestfriend finally wants to hangout again, but still a little upset on the fact they they haven’t had any ‘Bro time’ in a long time.  </p><p>Stiles wanted to explain to Scott why he’s suddenly so protective of Lydia, more so than before. But he couldn’t really tell him Lydia’s story... it’s not his story to tell, even if Scott is his brother, he can’t just tell him. So he just played the ‘I’ve been inlove with this girl since freaking third grade, and I just want everything to be perfect. And our relationship is still so new, so fragile — please let me do this?’ card. Of course Scott would let him be no  matter how skeptical he is about this.</p><p> </p><p>Their lunch were full of laughs and giggles even though Stiles and Lydia bickered like an old married couple, as Scott would like to put it. </p><p>After lunch, as planned they went to the cinema, almost missing the movie they wanted to all watched when they forgot about the time as they are having too much fun at the diner. </p><p>Everyone was excited to see the movie, especially Lydia since she haven’t been in the cinema theaters for so long (when Stiles heard that he promised to himself to take Lydia to the cinema at least once a month). 20 minutes inside the theater, Lydia fallen asleep, and since Stiles didn’t have the heart to wake her, she missed the entire movie.</p><p>Lydia whines and complains on why he didn’t wake her, and how it was such a waste. Stiles would just laugh at her and kiss her cheeks. </p><p>On the early evening they started to plan what to do next. </p><p>No one was able to decide what to do so they just hangout on the near fastfood place like they haven’t have enough unhealthy food for the day. </p><p>It was mostly Scott and Stiles who ate and stuff their mouth with junkfood, ‘Growing teenagers here’ they would say as an excuse. Lydia and Kira would just groan and laugh at their boyfriends.</p><p> </p><p>It is now nine in the evening and no one seems to want to go home, everyone is still enjoying each others company, which is a very rare occurance. </p><p>“I know, how about we go to Sinema?” Scott suggested nonchalantly, looking expectant to everyone. </p><p>”We just went to Sinema Scott.” Kira tugs her boyfriend, and laughing like someone just said a joke. </p><p>Scott’s pouted by not being taken seriously. ”Not that Sinema... the club Sinema. I heard they’re loose with IDs.” He explains clearly.</p><p>As Kira’s nods her head in agreement, Lydia considering it, Stiles face falls. ”I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Stiles said, scratching the back of his neck and pulling Lydia closer. </p><p>Him tensing didn’t go unnoticed by Lydia.</p><p>”Really, Stiles? Aren’t you the reckless and spontaneous one in this friendship?” Scott teases, throwing a piece of cold fries on his friend. </p><p>Stiles just shrug his tease, throwing back the fries, and chuckles to hide his nerves “I just don’t feel like drinking, okay?”</p><p>”Kill joy.” Another teasing from Scott. </p><p>“Dickhead” Stiles mutters back.</p><p>It is not serious argument and Lydia can see that, it’s just brothers bantering. She still feel bad though, because she knows that the reason why Stiles is holding back is because of her. </p><p>This was a fun night, a very fun night. A night Lydia never had before. She doesn’t want to ruin it for anyone, especailly for Stiles — it’s really been long since he hangout with anyone but her. </p><p>“Hey... I forgot my purse on the jeep.” She told Stiles, tugging him off his seat so that she can move out of the booth. ”Help me look for it?” She continued, and Stiles look at her in question because she is obviously holding her purse, and even if she does left it on the jeep, what does she needs her purse for? </p><p>Lydia just smiled innocently at him, waiting for him to agree with her request, and of course, he couldn’t really say no. ”Sure.” </p><p>Scott grumble at them, teasingly saying ”What an awful excuse, please don’t forget us and get back, or we’ll come after you two.” As he follow them with only his eyes. </p><p>Stiles and Lydia just ignored Scott grumble and got out the fastfood place, holding hands. </p><p>Once they are out, Stiles immediately asked, “Okay, we’re far away now from eavesdropping ears, so...” they got in front of the jeep, so Stiles turn to her completely to watch her face and expression. “You obviously have your purse in your hand, so what is this about?” </p><p>She breaths in deeply, cupping his face with her free have, and rubs her thumb over his cheek. She smiles and looks lovingly at him, he couldn’t but think of wanting to kiss her. “Stop worrying about me.” She said. </p><p>Stiles had to look down because he knows what she is talking about. “You can’t ask me not to worry about you.” He leans onto her touch and pulls her closer to him. “I’ll always worry about you no matter what the situation is.” He told her like it’s a secret only she should know. </p><p>A sigh left her that made Stiles look at her face, she’s not angry or irritated, she’s appreciative, yet there’s alway a ‘<em>but</em>’ somewhere. “Well at least have some fun while you worry about me.”</p><p>”I am having fun.” Because he is, and the day is so good he doesn’t want it to end. Just that Scott’s suggestion threw him a little. “Aren’t you having fun?” He asked her. </p><p>Lydia smirks, pulling him in for a chaste kiss. He wanted it to last longer, but she wants to talk and he’s okay with that. ”Of course I’m having fun. I haven’t had this kind of fun my entire life, you know that.” <em>He does.</em> “That’s why we should go to the Sinema, enjoy it with Scott and Kira.”</p><p>He has no problem with having fun, but he knows what kind of club Sinema is. He bet she knows what kind of club Sinema is too. ”Lydia I —“</p><p>”Stiles...” she squeeze his hand she’s been holding all this time “I’ll be fine.” She told him in a very sire manner. “I have you with me, that’s enough to keep me fine.”</p><p><em>Ahh, what a freaking dilemma.</em> ”Fine, fine. But no alcohol okay?” </p><p>“Hmm that’s no fun.” She teases to lighten up the mood.</p><p>”One drink. And I know I have no right to tell what you should and shouldn’t do but —“ </p><p>“No.” She cut him off, sliding her hand on the back of his neck and pulling him down to her to lean their foreheads together. “But you’ll never make me do something that is not good for me, and I trust you.” She told him as a matter of fact, and Stiles almost forgot to breath with how close they face is and how trust she give him. “Now... can you trust me?”</p><p>He couldn’t really answer with words. </p><p>His throat is suddenly dry and his tongue feels stuck, he nodded instead, and bring their lips together to bring assurance to both of them. And because they need it. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m almost done with this, YEY! This has too much angst that’s why I’m happy this is ending HAHA<br/>I think, I’ll update one more chapter and maybe an epilogue — but I’m debating with an epilogue, I’m not sure if I should do one.<br/>Anyways... this is a really angsty chapter, be warn.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stiles felt good as he hears Lydia’s giggles at the back of the jeep. Kira’s been telling her about the time she went with Stiles and Scott to this ‘adventure’ that somehow ended up with them going to a underground club in Mexico. </p><p>Kira’s been giving the full, unfiltered, embarrassing detail that has transpired and how it became one of the most memorable night of their young lives. There was a lot of groans, whines, and side comment from Stiles to defend his dignity, but it was fun to reminisce, beside it made Lydia laugh so it’s fine. </p><p> </p><p>They got inside the Sinema without any problem, like Scott have said, they’re really loose in IDs. </p><p>The club isn’t full blown yet because it still pretty early, and with that they didn’t have a hard time finding seats</p><p>“I’ll buy the drinks!” Kira said excitedly almost jumping up of her seat. “Any special order?”</p><p>”Just beer.” Scott said laughing at how enthusiastic his girlfriend is.</p><p>”I’ll have one too.” Stiles added, and keeping a note to himself that, that’s the one drink he’ll get becausw he will be driving.</p><p>”Lydia?” Kira asked in anticipation. </p><p>She thinks for few seconds then untangled herself from Stiles hold, “I’ll come with you.” She said, giving Stiles a peck and dangling her hand on Kira’s arm to walk with her to the bar. </p><p>Stiles eyes followed them till he can’t see them anymore, being block by people crowding inside slowly.</p><p>“Dude! You look at Lydia like she’s going to leave you any second now. Stop it. She likes you, I can see that so clearly now.” Scott announce, startling Stiles from his thoughts. </p><p>“Yeah well... I do feel like she can leave me any second.” He looks down feeling a little embarrass with his insecurity, “She’s always going to be <em>the</em> Lydia Martin, and I’m just... me.”</p><p>”Have a little faith and confidence in yourself, dude. You already got her, and I’m sure you’ll do anything in your human power for it to stay like that.” Scott said in a matter of fact, “I know I always have doubts in the relationship you two have but... watching you two together all day, witnessing how you are with each other, it’s something — something big, something not a lot of people have. So have trust in that.” He finished, and Stiles couldn’t help but smiles at what his brother just told him. </p><p>‘<em>Believe</em> <em>me</em>... <em>Trust</em> <em>me</em>.’ He can hear Lydia’s voice inside his head and the tension finally left him. “Thanks. I really appreciate that man.” He told Scott, as Scott move over to his side to pat his shoulders.</p><p>”Now let’s get this party started!” Scott scream to the place, both of them laughing. </p><p> </p><p>The girls got back with the drinks. </p><p>Few minutes later, Scott is pulling Kira out of their seat to the dance floor. </p><p>Another moment pass, it is Lydia’s turn to drag Stiles on the dance floor and all four of them now is dancing in the middle of the club. </p><p>They were having fun, moving with the loud music and laughing like crazy, and they only all had one drink. </p><p>“I gotta go to the restroom.” Kira shouted to Scott as they slow down from their dance. </p><p>As Kira kiss Scotts cheek and walks away from the group, Lydia follows, apparently she hear her and told Stiles she also needs restroom. </p><p>The two guys dance with themselves after, since the ladies seems to want to stick with each other. They don’t mind, it feels like their sixteen again where Stiles and Scott only have each other, and that is never a problem. </p><p>Few minutes later, they were both exhausted and decided to find somewhere to sit, but then Scott said he wants a drink so they seperate because Stiles can’t drink anymore. </p><p>When Scott found him few minutes later, something inside him felt off. </p><p>“Aren’t the girls taking too long in the restroom?” He asked, and tried to be nonchalant about it. They’ve been gone for more than 15 minutes now. </p><p>“You know girls with bathroom.” Scott shrugs, then took a sip on his drink. </p><p>Few more minutes pass and Stiles couldn’t settle in his seat. </p><p>Kira found them, but it’s only her. “Kira, where’s Lydia?” Stiles ask the second Kira is at earshot.</p><p>She looks at him with a smile, not recognizing the tension building inside him. ”Someone I know is here at the club and we talk for a minute, so Lydia told me she’ll find you.” </p><p>Kira sat down besides Scott and was about to tell him about the person she met, but Scott’s attention is with his bestfriend. He notices how he looks like he’s about to start and panic. ”Are you alright Stiles?” He asked, but Stiles didn't seem to hear him. “Stiles!” He called him louder. </p><p>Stiles look back at him with panicking eyes, ”Yeah, just —“</p><p>”Loosen up, dude. Lydia’s fine. I’m sure she just missed us, don’t worry she’ll find us.” He tried to assure him, moving close to him again and patting his shoulders. </p><p>”I have to fine her.” Stiles said to no one, standing from his seat.</p><p>Scott caught his hand before he can walk away. ”Dude, if you move she might missed you again. It’s only a couple of minutes, she’ll find us.”</p><p>”You don’t understand Scott. I need to find her!” Stiles snaps, yanking his hand away from Scott and he have to remind himself that he shouldn’t lash out on him. He catch a look of Kira and she looks like she’s about to start and cry, feeling guilty for not coming with Lydia.</p><p><em>They don’t know. You have to calm down... they don’t know.</em> He told himself repeatedly but, his mind is also running a mile per second, thinking about Lydia. The feeling he feels minutes ago, he now recognized it as dread, and its eating him. </p><p>”Dude —“ Scott tried to hold his arm again, “We’ll find her, okay?” He turn back to Kira and asked, “Where did you last see Lydia?”</p><p>”At the bar. We were getting more drinks and —“</p><p>Stiles didn’t wait for Kira to finished and bolted at the bar, he’s eyes searching for the girl with strawberry blond hair.</p><p>”Stiles!” He ignored Scott calls, and continue looking.</p><p>Each second his eyes not seeing her, is a second he thinks for the worst. </p><p><em>Shit! Shit! Shit!</em> He started to pull his hair in frustration and panics. Scott finally catch up to him, Kira following behind, looking worriedly at the two boys. Scott turns Stiles body to face him. “I can’t find her Scott. I can’t find Lydia.” He was a stuttering mess, and he’s tear is falling without permission.</p><p>”Stiles, you need to calm down.”</p><p>”I can’t —“ he knows that Lydia is still dependent with her pills. He tried to stop her one time and she was a mess. Only a day without her pill and she can’t bear the withdrawal — she turned moody, mean, and the worst... she was pleading like a beggar to give back her the pills. </p><p>That’s also the reason why he’s keeping an eye on her, to make sure she’s only taking one pill a day and to keep track on her alcohol consumption, while he tries to find another ways to make her stop. </p><p>Kira move to the bar to talk to the bartender, as Scott hold on to Stiles. ”Hey, I was here probably about five or ten minutes ago with two other girls. A blond and a —“</p><p>”A redhead?” The bartender supplied, giving Kira a flirty smirk. “Yeah, I remember. You girls are hot.” Kira wanted to smack the shit out of the guy but she needed information.</p><p>”Have you seen her again after?”</p><p>”Sure. She ordered couple more drinks, and dunk it down fast.” He laugh as he said that, and added “The girl’s crazy.” </p><p><em>Okay, I’ll definitely smack hard him after this. </em>Kira thought, clutching her hand on the counter to contain herself. </p><p>”Scott —“ she turn to Scott and Stiles, they’re apparently listening.  </p><p>Kira turn back to the bartender, focusing on getting information and not her guilt. ”Do you happened to know which way she’d may gone? We’re having a hard time finding her.” </p><p>”I don’t know” he scoffs, looking smug, Kira is sure she’s a second away to pucnching him is the nose. “I have drinks to tend. Just because I find her hot doesn’t mean I have to look out for her.”</p><p>Kira didn’t need to pull the guys of the bar to threaten him, because Stiles got to the guy first, ”Listen here you little shit! My father is the towns sheriff, so if you don’t want your smug looking ass to be locked in jail, you better remember which way my girlfriend went.” </p><p>The smug look on the guy's face was effectly gone with Stiles threat, and it is now change with fear. ”Hey dude, I don’t want trouble. I’m just doing my job.” </p><p>“Stiles —“ Scott tried to loosen Stiles grip on the grips shirt, but Stiles is determined to intimidate and get an answer quick. </p><p>”I think... I think I saw her walking out with Peter.” The bartender finally gave useful information, but it was still not enough, and Stiles is losing his little patience. </p><p>”Who’s the fuck is Peter and where can we find him?”</p><p>”He ahh... he’s a regular and he always brags on taking girls to this small motel down the crossroad. He always takes the same room, number five —“ </p><p>Stiles quickly let go of the guy and bolted out of the club never looking back.  </p><p>“Stiles!” Scott called, which expectedly, Stiles ignored again. “Stiles! Slow down!”</p><p>”You can’t tell me to slow down, Scott! Some creepy guy got Lydia, I have to find her!” He scream at him, not even looking back on his bestfrend. </p><p>”Dude, dude...” Scott catched up before Stiles got inside the jeep. “I’ll drive okay? You’re not in condition to drive, you don’t want to crash when you’re trying to find Lydia.” He was looking at him with pleading eyes, afraid that if he let Stiles go his own, something terrible will happened. </p><p>“Fine.” Stiles see the concern, and the sincerely of wanting to help in Scott’s eye, and he knew Scott would let him go alone and he doesn’t want to fight him with this so he agreed.</p><p>When Stiles got inside, Scott walks to the deiver seat only to be stop by his girlfriend. ”I’ll drive, get in the back with Stiles.”</p><p>He agreed, because <em>shit</em>, this night went down hill so fast and his bestfriend is a panic bomb mess. </p><p> </p><p>The motel wasn’t hard to find, and it only took them five minutes to get there. As soon as the jeep slowed down in front of the motel, Stiles jumps off the jeep. </p><p>Stiles saw room number five immediately and knocks loudly on it’s door. “Fucking open up!” He scream, not stopping his knocks.</p><p>Scott and Kira’s behind him in no time, Kira’s trying her hardest not to cry on the situation. </p><p>It took a few more knocks and screaming before the door finally opens. A man in his late 30’s appeared, shirtless, only wearing his boxers, and Stiles feels the need to kill.</p><p>Stiles didn’t let the man talk pushing the door wide open to get inside, ignoring the man’s complains and protest. When he didn’t see Lydia, he turn back to man with fury in this eyes and poison in his tone. “Where is she? Where’s Lydia?” </p><p>“I don’t know who you’re talking about kid.” The man feign ignorance, but Stiles can see that he’s hiding something. </p><p>Scott and Kira got inside and started to look around too, Kira saw a door probably l leading to the bathroom and got inside. The second she opens the door, her stomach turns seeing her friend completely naked and laying unconscious on the cold tiled floor. She study her for any obvious injury, but she was shaking in fear and couldn't think well, “Scott —“ she almost choke calling him.</p><p>Scott appears and was frozen for a second seeing the scene, but he was able to move quickly, taking a towel hanging on the wall and wraping it around Lydia’s body. </p><p>Stiles didn’t move from where he was standing, he doesn’t want to let the man get away, he’s also is afraid to see what Scott and Kira witness. “What the fuck did you do to her?” </p><p>“I didn’t know she’s a minor, she didn’t say. And I didn’t made her do anything, she’s the one who came with me willingly for a couple of pill and to have fu —“ </p><p>He didn’t let him finished. The man is bigger than him but he’s full of adrenaline and anger that when he punch him in the face, the man fall flat on the floor with bleeding nose. </p><p>Stiles didn’t stop there, he didn’t let the man get up by straddling him, and continue punching him.   </p><p>“Stiles —“ he can hear Scott calling him, but, he couldn’t let go of his anger. “Stiles you got to stop before you kill him!” Scott hold the fist his using to punch the guy and stops him. </p><p>“I don’t care!” He yanks his hands away from Scott and continue punching the man. </p><p>“Stiles —“ Kira called, her crying, shaking and terrified voice made him stop. He turn to look at her and saw how she’s sitting just ouside the bathrrom, carefully cradling Lydia’s head on her lap — her body wrap with a towel. </p><p>“Stiles, we need to go.” Scott urge him to stand, but his bones and body felt limp. “Stiles, please.” </p><p>He turned back to Scott, his brother who’s eyes were leaking with tears. Stiles moves robotically, and let Scott manhadle him to the jeep. </p><p>Scott when back to the room the get Lydia and Kira, leaving the unconscious man Stiles beat up slump on the floor. They don’t need to worry about that horrible man, he doesn’t have a hold on them when he brought an underage girl to a motel and drug her.  </p><p>Stiles was shaken from his daze when Scott carefully place Lydia on his lap. Stiles is amazed on how Scott is keeping himself intact when he can’t think straight since the start of this — he’s so grateful for him and for not letting him go crazy. </p><p>Stiles turns his attention to Lydia. She still unconscious and they don’t know how long she’s been unconscious, the only saving grace is how he can see that she’s still breathing, but that doesn’t mean she’s not in danger. The towel wrap on her slip a little showing more of her skin, and Stiles had to know... he needs to see. </p><p>He see’s her naked body and saw how vulnerable, and how fragile she is, and it breaks his heart so much, “Ohh god. No, no, no —“ he’s a wreck, he’s weeping and sobbing like his world crush and there’s no way to put it back. </p><p>“Stiles, we have to bring her to the hospital.” Scott announce, looking at his broken bestfriend at the rear mirror. Kira is still shaking and crying, so he couldn’t let her drive them. </p><p>”We can’t. We can’t —“ Stiles is choking from his words, he’s forcing himself to talk to Scott because he have to know. “I promised that I won’t —“</p><p>”We have to, Stiles.” Scott got him off, as he turn the jeep to the road going to the hospital. </p><p><em>They’re going to take her away from me, she’s going to hate me.</em> ”She have a record on drug addiction and suicide, Scott.” He didn’t really want to tell them but he has to. “They’re going to take her again, I can’t, I can’t... I promised.” </p><p>Scott doesn’t know what to say to that revelation, but he knows that Lydia needs hospital care, “She needs hospital, Stiles. We don’t know what he made her take and why she’s still unconscious.” </p><p>Stiles didn’t answer because he knows he’s right, and there’s nothing he can do to avoid it, not when Lydia’s life is at stake. So he just cried harder, and embrace Lydia’s body tighter. </p><p>There’s a heavy silence between them, there’s just hitching of breath and muffled whines from crying all of them crying.</p><p>Scott feels for his brother, and he knows this is going to affect his life so much. Stiles feelings for Lydia is alway a make or break, there’s never something in between, that’s why Scott is always protective of him when it comes to his involvement with Lydia — Stiles feeling for Lydia is sometimes scary.  </p><p>Scott reach his free hand to Kira and intertwined their fingers tightly. He knows she feels guilty with what happened, and all he wants is for everyone to feel better. “Can you call my mom? Let her expect us to the hospital.” He asked her a minute after. </p><p>Kira nodded as she silently cried more when she picks up her phone and dialed Melissa’s number.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m already cooking a new fic for this ship. I’m really a sucker for Stydia and every story that come to my head always includes them. </p><p>Let me know what you think about this chapter 😚</p><p>Kisses xx<br/>— Camille 😘</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is like a filler chapter... but an angsty filler? And for disclosure, this chapter again contains mention of drugs, sexual assault, and many other triggering words.</p><p>Please read at your own risk. </p><p>I’m sorry that this fic is nothing but angst, but I see kudos so —</p><p>Anyways, enjoys the angst 😬</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Lydia didn’t know why she did that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She promised and she broke it — like how she breaks and ruins everything. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>After going to the restroom, she waited for Kira to finished. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Outside the restroom, she can feel a pair of eyes staring at her. She turn around to find these eyes putting holes in her head, and found Peter Hale — he’s an old friend of Theo’s cousin, he’s also one of the dealers on the club Theo’s cousin owned.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When the club was closed down, and Theo’s cousin was put to jail, Peter disappears like a bubble. </em>
</p><p><em>Lydia won’t forget Peter Hale though, because the man’s a total creep, a pervert who couldn’t keep his hands to himself, putting sexual advancement even to minors young enough to be his child, and a great con-man.</em> <em>He also tired to take advantage of Lydia, but Theo’s cousin told him not to touch his cousin’s playmate, so he backed off, but that didn’t stop the sticky and sickly stares, and the disgusting dirty words coming off his mouth.</em></p><p>
  <em>She suddenly felt ill remembering those nights.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When Kira finished, Lydia return back to herself to not worry the other girl, and as they walk around the club to find the guys, someone called Kira’s name from the bar. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s an old acquaintance, and Kira just had to talk to her. She introduced Lydia to the blonde girl (which she immediately forgot the name), and the girl treat them with drinks, also to catch up a little with Kira. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia isn’t really interested to stay and she feels uncomfortable with the pair of eyes still following her, so she told Kira she’ll find Stiles and nodded at her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She scanned the dance floor to where she remembers they left the guys, but she couldn’t spot him. She was about to look around more when a hand stops her, holding her arms firmly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Haven’t seen you for so long baby.” Peter Hale said, his mouth so close to her ears that almost made her shiver in digust. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Get away from me creep!” Lydia yanks her arms away from him, and the man chuckles, closing their gaps once again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”An old playmate of yours says hi.” There’s so much malice in his voice, and Lydia just knew he is talking about Theo. She haven’t heard from him since he moved, and she doesn’t plan to know anything about him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She push Peter away and tried to ignore him, going back to the bar to get back to Kira but she was not there anymore. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lydia taste a pang of bitterness in her mouth that she just wants to wash away so she orders a couple drinks all at once and dunk it and finished everything in a matter of minutes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her heads feels lull, which is weird because she not lightweight when it come to alcohol, and then suddenly, she forgot why she’s there at the bar. She waves for another drink and finished it fast, then place a cash on the counter and walks away without an actual place to go.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A hand fell at the small of her back, supporting her weight and leading her somewhere.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Here.” Someone said, and something was place on her mouth she automatically swallowed. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She didn’t know how much time pass, but she feels relax, and her brain is empty. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s laying on an uncomfortable bed, and cold from being naked. She doesn’t squirm or get bothered by the painful hold of </em>
  <em>callous fingers and hands mapping her body, or that tongue licking every part of her skin, or the bites that’s bruising her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She doesn’t move or react because she doesn’t really feel it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There are stars and constellation on the celling she see's. She counted it, like how she counts Stiles moles and freckles — she closed her eyes and says her goodnight to him.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Everything seems to be moving fast, <em>or</em> <em>is it slow? </em>He’s not entirely sure. </p><p>He would turn his head slowly, left to right, straight ahead and down the floor... everyone’s faces are blurred in his vision, he thinks that even if he concentrate, which he really can’t, not right now, he won’t be able to recognize a single person. </p><p>He tried to focus on his hearing, but the sound and noises of people talking and chattering around are muffled in his ears. It’s like, everyone is talking underwater. </p><p>Behind the muffled voices though, there’s this annoying constant beeping noise that is assulting his ears and is slowly giving him a painful headache. He wanted it to stop, he wants to stop it, but he couldn’t move. </p><p>He’s been like that for who know’s how long. </p><p>“Son —“ he heard over all the muffled voices and the annoying beeping sound. The same voice called again and he put all his strength to lift his head and look at the person who owns the voice. </p><p>It was the first face he recognized from all the blurriness he’s seeing. “Dad?” He said, he almost couldn’t recognized his own voice. His words also came out so much like a question, like he’s not entirely sure it’s his father he is seeing. </p><p>There’s this sad expression in his father’s features that he can’t explain but he can feel all of it. “Stiles... son —“ </p><p>Stiles got off of his seat so fast, everyone thought he’s going to fall on the floor. He tackled he’s father in a tight hug, the sheriff almost lost his balance. </p><p>Noah immediately responded to his son’s embrace, patting his hand softly on Stiles back and shoulder, and tried to give him comfort. </p><p>They were hugging like that for what seems like a long time. The sheriff didn’t talk or utter a single word, he just let his son cry on his shoulder — it made him remember of that time when Stiles was just a little kid, crying hard on his shoulder because he doesn’t understand why he can’t see his mommy. </p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Someone reported about seeing a man unconsciously lying on the floor of his motel room, face full of blood, and beaten half to death. </p><p>The patrol went to the said motel and found the man they immediately recognized as Peter Hale because of his long list of petty criminal offenses, sexual harassment and assault, and small drug dealings. He should have been rotting in jail but the man manage to get away always. </p><p>They question the attendant of the motel and has admitted that he gave Peter a room even though he knew that the girl he’s with is a minor and looks like she’ve been drugged. The attendant reasoned that he’s scared of Peter Hale, and he didn’t have any choice that’s why he did that. </p><p><em>Everyone always have a choice, </em>the sheriff thought.</p><p> </p><p>The sheriff have figure out that it’s his son who beaten Peter Hale half to death after talking to few witnesses, he also found out why. </p><p>He drove to the hospital as fast as he can and saw how broken and wrecked his son is, sitting soullessly on the uncomfortable hospital waiting room chairs. </p><p>Peter Hale deserved what happened to him, but his son could still get in trouble with the law for what he did.</p><p>It doesn’t matter.</p><p>He’ll do everything in he’s power to protect his son, even if it means breakings laws he strictly abides. </p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Scott didn’t really want to go home, he wanted to stay with his brother, but he’s mother insisted that there’s nothing he could do right now and he should rest and go home. </p><p>He took one last look at his bestfriend, his brother that’s sleeping on a hospital bed, looking somewhat peaceful now. The sheriff is sitting by his side watching his son with intent. </p><p>The sheriff came by two hours ago and silently asked Melissa to give his son a tranquilizer, so that he’ll be put into sleep and also, so that someone can finally look and treat his obviously bruised and bloody knuckles — they didn’t really want to do it but they had to. Stiles went back to being catatonic after finally showing response and emotion upon seeing his father which didn’t last long... it’s like, what happened tonight has crashed on his head once again. A broken record repeating over and over again. </p><p>He sighs deeply, before moving out of the room. He took another glance and prayed to all gods for his brother to be okay. </p><p> </p><p>When Scott turn to the hall where the waiting area is, his heart squeeze in pain seeing Kira sitting uncomfortably at the corner, trying her best not to fall asleep. </p><p>He told her to go home after Stiles was put to sleep, but well... obviously she didn’t listen. He’s not mad or anything — tonight is just... sad. </p><p>Scott walk towards her, she’s so tired and a little in daze that she didn’t notices him nearing. He kneeled in front of her, holding both her hands that is resting on her lap. </p><p>She tenses from the touch but after realizing it’s him, her body relaxes and her face soften. He freed one of her hands and place it on her cheek. “You didn’t go home.” He told her softly.</p><p>Kira look away for a second, but then leans in his touch. “I tried... I couldn’t. Sorry.” Her eyes were watering at the end, like what she did is such a crime.</p><p>”Hey, hey —“ he coax her to look him in the eye before continuing, “I’m not mad. No one’s mad. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He assured her, and this is not only for not going home when he told her so, it’s also for what she think she did wrong from this awful night. Scott squeeze her hand tighter, finding her eyes to let her recognized the sincerity of it all. “And I’m sorry for leaving you.” He finished, feeling a pang of guilt for forgetting she also needs him right now. </p><p>Kira shakes her head, silently telling him that he doesn’t need to apologize to her, ”It’s fine, I understand. It’s not me who need you the most right now — I’m sorry for adding up on your worries.”</p><p>He softly wipe the stray tears running down her face, then pulling her head down to kiss her forehead sweetly, and her lips. ”You’re my girlfriend, and I love you. I’ll always worry about you.”</p><p>”I love you too.” She return the sentiment, and leaning down to hug him tightly. </p><p>They were hugging for a few minutes, not minding how uncomfortable their position is. When Kira leans back to her seat, Scott got up from the floor and offer his hand for her to take.</p><p>Kira took his hand and stand up from her seat. He bend down to gave her few chaste kisses and said, ”Come on, let’s go home.” She nodded to answer, and they walk side by side, holding each others hand tightly, conveying feeling and emotions that can’t be said in words. </p><p>They got home not separately, but to Scott’s house, because home is not a place — it’s a person. They sleep holding each other’s body and hope for a better morning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next one is the last chapter, and I don’t think I’ll still the epilogue, but... maybe, I dunno. My mind is as messy as my life 😂</p><p>Do leave me your thoughts on this.</p><p>Kisses xx<br/>— Camille 🥰😘</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wooo!!! This is the last chapter! YEY!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I love you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I want to say that in person, but, I can’t. I’m sorry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now, I didn’t write that just so you will forgive me. I know you won’t. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>What I did... what I caused everyone, especially you — I’ll understand if you won’t allow yourself to forgive me for the rest of your life. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I write that as the first sentence in this letter just so you know if you ever throw this away without reading the rest of it. I’m not even sure if you got the letter, and if you got it, you might have thrown it even before opening it knowing it came from me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not because I had to love you, but because, you made it so hard for me not to love you after everything you did for me — after everything you made me feel. Nothing from you was force, nothing from you was fake, nothing from you was insincere.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I always like the idea of someone saving me from the bad things that is happening to me, to my life, even though I know that some of those things happened because of me, because of my own selfish desicions. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You, Stiles Stilinski, saved me from a lot of things. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I was hoping that you can save me from myself too. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that is wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That is selfish. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And it’s never your fault that you can’t save me. No one can. The only person who can save me from myself, is me. Only me. </em>
</p><p><em>I would want to say for you to forget me, but, I can’t. </em> <em>I cause you a lot of pain, but a part of me is still selfish. </em></p><p>
  <em>I’m going to be better. Not only for myself but for everyone that I caused pain... especially for you. I’m gonna be better. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And once I’m better, I’ll come find you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>— Lydia. </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I knew I’ll find you here.”</p><p>Stiles knew it was Scott. He didn’t have to turn around and look at the owner of the voice, he will recognized his voice even through a crowd full of chattering people. </p><p>He feels him going near him, and as he expected, Scott takes a seat next to him, and pats his back in comfort. </p><p>It’s comfortable silence between them for a couple of minutes, just looking at the view in front of them of almost the whole Beacon Hills from the clearing they’re sitting on.</p><p>“You’re reading that again.” Scott broken the silence and pointed at the piece of old letter in his hand. </p><p>“Yeah, well —“ he wanted to give an excuse, but really, there’s no excuse for it. </p><p>It’s been more than a year since then. </p><p>That night was only the start of Stiles long month nightmare. </p><p>He woke up with a heavy head on a hospital bed, then the memories he had from that night came crashing to him once again. He made a scene at the hospital, running to Lydia’s room only to find that she’s not there anymore, then he started screaming at everyone to tell him where she is, and was once again shot with something to calm his nerves. </p><p>They eventually let him know that Lydia mother ordered her transfer, but they couldn’t tell him where. </p><p>Stiles tried to look for her for weeks. He even tried to hack the hospital computer records just so he can get the information he needs. His father caught him before he can do something that could put him behind bars. </p><p>That didn’t stop from looking though. It only made him more persistent — driving from town to town, going from hospital to another. </p><p>He haven’t been taking care of himself. He’s losing more sleep everyday, he’s neglecting his studies, he’s not been eating right, he’s losing weight — he’s going down in spiral and he doesn’t even realize it’s domino effect on the people who cares about him the most. </p><p>For a month he heard nothing from and of Lydia. He doesn’t know if she’s okay, if she’s still alive, or if he’ll ever see her again... and he’s losing it. </p><p>Noah, his father, finally have had enough. He didn’t punish him, or reprimanded him. The kid doesn’t need that, it will only make him not listen. What the sheriff do... he got on his knees, and begs his only child to stop slowly killing himself. </p><p>He promised it won’t end badly. He lied. </p><p>
  <em>But was that really the end?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Stiles slowly allowed himself to be better, to put an effort and take care of himself for his father sake and sanity. He doesn’t want to see his father beg to him like that ever again, he won’t be able to forgive himself if his father gets to be put in that kind of situation again. His dad doesn’t deserve that, and he resented Lydia because it’s a much easier feeling to deal with than feeling the pain she left. </p><p>They’ve all eventually move on from it... including the resentment he had for Lydia. They all are victims of cruel life.</p><p>Though, behind everything — the feeling of love Stiles still have for Lydia... he’s not sure if he can actually move on from it, ever. </p><p> </p><p>The letter came two months after she’d gone disappear in everyone’s life... in his life, without any words of goodbye. </p><p>The letter didn’t come to his mail. It came from Scott, who told him that the letter came to Kira’s mail. </p><p>Kira also mentioned to Scott that the letter came inside a small box without a return address, or any indication where it came from or who it came from — seems like it was delivered personally by someone. There were two more letters inside the box and a small piece of paper, a note, neatly place over these letters and it said ‘<em>Read</em> <em>yours</em> <em>first</em>’ </p><p>Each letter have their name written on the plain white envelopes as an indication which letter are for who. </p><p>Kira, of course, read the letter for her first before telling Scott about it. She didn’t tell Scott what’s inside her letter, but told him it’s from Lydia, and asked him to read his letter first before thinking of giving Stiles letter to him. She also told him that if he thinks the letter won’t cost anything good, he can throw both away without reading his own letter and without telling Stiles about it. </p><p>Scott didn’t push Kira on telling him what Lydia wrote to her. Her eyes were red from obvious crying, and is glassy with tears still threatening to fall. He took the letters from her and went home to decide if he’s going to read the letter written for him or just throws it in the garbage altogether. </p><p>He couldn’t thrown the letters away because he thinks Stiles deserves to see his letter, but he can’t give it to Stiles without reading his first, he’s not sure if he wants to read his letter though. If he wants to give the letter to Stiles he have to read his own letter immediately, he can’t delay it for a day. </p><p>So Scott read his letter. </p><p> </p><p>Scott never told Stiles what’s written on his letter... he didn’t tell him what to do with his own letter, if he should read it or not. He just told him how he got the letter, how it came, and who it came from, then left him to decide what to with it.</p><p>He didn’t read his letter immediately. He couldn’t... not that early at least.</p><p>It took him a month to finally have the guts and strength to open the thin envelope containing a letter from the girl who can ruin him again in a matter of second.   </p><p>It didn’t ruin him, but he may have cried over it the whole night, and kept on reading the letter every now and then. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you think she loved me?” Stiles asked suddenly. </p><p>It’s the first time he asked Scott that. He’s not entirely sure why he asked though. </p><p>“I think you two are inevitable.” He says like a matter of fact, and it did not really answer Stiles question but it didn’t bother him. </p><p>”Why?” He’s curious on why he thinks so. </p><p>”You’ve always love her.” He paused to give him a look, almost teasing. “You always tried not to, but, it’s alway her even in the end — even now. And yeah, I think she loved you because she saw that. That’s why you two are, inevitable.” He used a playful tone at the end to lightening the mood.</p><p>They settled for another quiet minute, till Scott turn to him and asked, “Remember what I told you that night? Before everything went downhill?” Of course Stiles remembers... he remembered everthing.</p><p>He couldn’t really answer him with words so he just nodded, and Scott continues, “I still think it’s true.” He said as a matter of fact, then turning back to the view in front of them and adding. “What you two had was something big, something different, something not a lot of people have.” Stiles almost wants to cry with the words his brother is uttering, ”And maybe, just maybe... if you two were lucky, you’ll find each other again, be together again — happy, and just living.” </p><p>At the end of it, Stiles tears falls down without his permission.  </p><p>Maybe she’ll find him like she said in the letter. </p><p>Or maybe it’s him who’ll find her again. </p><p>But they don’t have to do anything about it right now. They’ve moved on, but they are still healing.</p><p>Right now, they just have to leave it with fate. </p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Stiles startled out of his daze at the ring of the bell indicating the end of class. </p><p>Everyone in the room started to move and fix their stuff to immediately get out. </p><p>“Alright, I hope you people don’t forget that Thursday is the deadline for your midterms paper on Criminal Defense.” The professor said, not bothered by how everyone is rushing out. “Stilinski!” Stiles stops abruptly at the call of his name, almost tripping on the flat surface. “You better turn in your paper on time, I will not accept any late papers and I won’t let you have this your way again, you hear me?” The professor pointedly threatens.</p><p>Stiles just chuckles, saluting to his professor goodbye. He knew that if he made a good effort, he can definitely have this on his way. </p><p>Funny how he would put much more effort in getting away with turning his papers beyond deadline, than writing his papers early on to turn it on time. </p><p>His still in his first year in college, currently in the middle of his second term, but he’s already creating chaos with his professors. Some things never change. </p><p>He luckily got in to George Washington University and took up Criminal Justice, planning to follow his fathers foots steps in law enforcement (he never really thought about wanting to follow his father’s foots steps before, but he guess it got under his skin, and now he wants to solve ‘unsolved cases’ whenever he had chance), but he’s leaning more to getting in the FBI — he’s not hundred percent yet but, he did do that summer internship with the feds with the help of Scott's father, who he didn't expect he’ll have, and he enjoyed his time there, even when mostly people just orders him to make coffee and recopy papers.</p><p> </p><p>Today, Stiles is going to be good and he’s going to try his hardest and start his midterm paper and not cram everything on the last minute. </p><p>He’s on his way to the library with thoughts on how he should start his paper and nothing else.</p><p>He tried to look ahead and not bump to anyone while he keep his head occupied and busy thinking, but then — something caught his eyes. </p><p>A girl standing, not twenty feet away from him.</p><p>She have her back facing him so... he's not really sure who this person is but — it made him stop his tracks and stood frozen in the middle of the walkway.</p><p>The girl hair falls down her waist and flows beautifully with the blowing calm wind. It look so soft even with the distance she and Stiles have. </p><p>The color of her hair shines brightly with the light of the sun. <em>Strawberry blonde, that’s its color. </em></p><p>
  <em>No, Stiles. That’s not — it’s impossible.</em>
</p><p>He shakes his head, and slap himself to get back his senses. </p><p>The girl seems to have felt him staring, because she turn around and stare back at him. Her stares slowly turns from annoyance to recognition, then somehow relief. </p><p>She shyly smiles at him, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.  </p><p><em>Ohh</em> <em>fuck</em>. Stiles told himself. </p><p><em>Is this one of those days again? </em>He asked himself, because there’s no way, <em>no</em> <em>way — Lydia Martin is at his university, stabding in front of him, staring at his eyes, and it’s like she’s waiting for him to walk to her and greets her. NO. FUCKING. WAY. </em></p><p>Well, this won’t be the first time he’s imagining Lydia to finally find and returns to him. No, it not. </p><p>There have been a couple of times like this already, and always, it just all in his head. </p><p>So maybe this is just one of those day. </p><p>It’s just, today... she looks so real. More real than ever. </p><p>He shakes his head again, harder this time, and believes that the image of her will vanish after. But when it didn’t, he breathe in deeply and compose himself. </p><p>He’s still not going to fall on his minds trick. He’s going to walk away from this illusion or delusion, and he’s going straight to the library to do his paper. </p><p>Stiles slowly lift his foot, and started to walk as normal as he can, and also tries his hardest to ignore the image of <em>this</em> <em>girl</em>. </p><p>The second he past the girl, the air in his lungs seems to slowly dissipated and his heart almost stop from beating. </p><p>He’s about six paces away from her and his feet stop on it’s own. </p><p>His eyes started to water, and everything felt so heavy, but at the same time light. </p><p>He slowly turns back, his whole body shaking, and slowly... <em>slowly</em>... lifts his eyes on hers. </p><p>A sad smile is plastered on her face. </p><p>“<em>Stiles</em> —“ </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yep. That is the end. It’s open ended, I know. I’ll leave the rest to everyone’s imagination hahaha</p><p>What do you guys think? </p><p>Hope you enjoyed all of this angst.</p><p>And like mention before, I’m already cooking something new for the same ship, but I don’t think I should publish anything new yet unless I finished the rest of my ongoing fics HAHAHA </p><p>PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME hehe</p><p>Do  leave me your thoughts on the comment section. I’m always a sucker for interactions 😚</p><p>Kisses xx<br/>— Camille 😚🥰</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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